Sunday, July 10, 2011

JEFFREY'S TOP 5 CELEBRITY ENCOUNTERS!!

What is a celebrity?  According to dictionary.com, a celebrity is "a famous or well-known person."  (This is exactly what I thought the definition would be since I am very smart.)  So, am I a celebrity?  I probably am not.

When you live in New York City, you see lots of famous people.  Since I am oblivious to what's going on around me, I probably see way more celebrities than I even realize.

Eddie Murphy in disguise-- I wouldn't recognize him.


Take note, Spike Lee and Haley Joel Osment are not on this list since if you go to (or went to) NYU, you saw them all the time.

Haley Joel Osment got ugly.




Here are my Top 5 Celebrity Encounters:




5. PETER DINKLAGE

Peter Dinklage is probably the most famous dwarf in Hollywood today.  (I looked it up and "dwarf" is not offensive.)  You might've seen him in Elf, Death at a Funeral (the black one, not the British one), or Game of Thrones.  If you like quality movies, you might also recognize him as the star of The Station Agent.  Clearly, this is a man who does not discriminate when it comes to what parts he'll take.

I saw Dinklage about two years ago on an elevator in the Tisch building.  The elevator doors opened and BAM-- there he was.  He was extremely recognizable because of his short stature.  There were about five other people in the elevator (it was quite cramped) and Dinklage was (heavily) hitting on an attractive girl who was clearly not interested.  He tried to invite himself to hang out with her later, but was shot down.  I did not laugh because if I did, I was pretty sure Peter Dinklage would beat me up.




4. CHRIS MARTIN

Chris Martin is the lead singer of the band Coldplay.  He is also married to Gwyneth Paltrow and they have a daughter named Apple.

Yes, his eyes were this nice.

I met Chris Martin at a bar where he was surrounded by a group of (semi-attractive) girls, though they seemed to be just friends (so you don't have to worry Gwyneth).  One of the people I was with said, "Hey, aren't you Chris Martin?"  The man laughed and smiled slightly.  "Nah, I hear that guys a real jerk," he said.  Everyone laughed.  He went on to tell us that he'd just got to the U.S. and was traveling to lots of different cities over the next few weeks.  Since I'd had a few drinks, I'd believed the man when he said he wasn't Chris Martin, but after we left someone told me that it really was him and that he was just being clever when he said he wasn't.  I do not like being fooled.




3. GEORGE CLOONEY

My family and I were on the Warner Bros. VIP Studio Tour in California when we saw George Clooney.  We'd just left the building with all of the Harry Potter movie stuff and the Sorting Hat told me that I would be in Hufflepuff.  How could the day get any better?!

We got back on the tour vehicle (I do not know what this vehicle is called; it is like a bus, but you are outside, like a golf cart).  We were about to head off when the girls sitting in front of me started screaming and getting all excited.  A man with grey hair walked by, waved, and said, "hello, folks."  I did not recognize the man, but when he walked away everyone told me that it was George Clooney.





2. DREW BARRYMORE & 
1. JUSTIN LONG

All of the bars were closing when I entered the Bowery Hotel.  There's a sort of small entrance area before you enter, and that's where I met Justin Long, who'd been drinking.  I wasn't so sure that it was Justin Long until he introduced himself as "Justin" (then, I was sure).  We started talking about random stuff and he was a pretty cool guy.  It was very hard for me not to ask him if he was getting a Mac.

Suddenly, Drew Barrymore (Justin's girlfriend) came out.  She introduced herself as  "Drew" and was very drunk.  She was also shorter than I thought she would be.  I wanted to tell her how much I liked Ever After and The Wedding Singer and Never Been Kissed, but I didn't want to embarrass her.  I have heard that famous people sometimes don't like to be recognized and prefer to be treated like normal people.  I invited Drew Barrymore and Justin Long back to my apartment for some drinks, but they respectfully declined.  Justin would've come over, but Drew wanted to leave (probably to go do drugs).  They left and got into a black car.  I never saw them again.





If only I'd recruited everyone on this list for a movie!  The movie would be about a wealthy businessman (Clooney) who has everything…except true love.  He meets a pretty, young waitress (Barrymore), who's having trouble with her longtime boyfriend (Long).  The businessman and waitress start to fall in love, but their current living situations and silly misunderstandings keep pulling them apart.  Peter Dinklage plays Drew Barrymore's father and provides us with some comic relief.  Chris Martin will put together a song for the film.  I've got a hit!  20 million dollars opening weekend!  I would've had a much bigger hit if I'd met Kevin James, Johnny Depp, and Megan Fox.

This guy is money.

So what celebrity will I see next?  Who knows!  Maybe I will see me in the future!  (Since in the future I will be a celebrity.)  This, however, is unlikely and makes little sense.  Unless I find a time machine that is!!

Me with my time machine.  This is what they wear in the future.

What are your top celebrity encounters?  Remember, I don't count just yet!