Friday, April 13, 2012

Jeffrey's Top 10 Inventions (That Need to be Made)

There seem to be new inventions popping up every single day.  That is because on most days at least one person in the world has invented something.  I know this is probably true because on most days I invent at least one amazing new invention.  However, since I am not handy, I cannot actually build these inventions (so they are really only great ideas).

Thomas Edison was such a good inventor that they named a town in New Jersey after him.

Here is a list of some of the greatest inventions in history:
  • Fire (mankind’s first great invention)
  • TV
  • Remote Control
  • Dog (humans invented dogs by breeding nice wolves—I saw a special about it on Animal Planet)
  • Spaceships
  • Spark Plugs
  • Tires
  • Jeggings
  • Pillows
  • Candles
  • Paper (I know that this was invented in China)
  • Funny Hats
  • Time

Just kidding with that last one!  We didn’t invent time—it existed even before people did!  Someone did invent the clock though.

Many inventions are good, but some end up being bad.  With new technology comes more complex inventions and a possible robot revolt.  If you have ever watched Battlestar Galactica, you know that Cylons look and act like real people, but they really want to kill us.

Here’s a list of my Top 10 Inventions.  Since I have not actually created these products and do not own any patents for them, you can steal these ideas.  Actually, most of these things probably already exist and I just don’t know it.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Game Show Extravaganza!

Do you want to win money?  How about $10,000?  How about $1,000,000?  Well, all you have to do is buy my new book, "Jeffrey the Great Tells You How to Win A Million Dollars".  It can be downloaded to your Kindle or Nook for just $750 (I had to lower the price down from $1,000 because sales were bad).

It's basically a rip-off of The Hunger Games. Only it's better.
Just kidding!  We all know that I don't know how to write books (or even how to read)!  However, I do know how you can make lots of money and win exciting prizes too!  It is by going on a game show! (Exclamation point overload in this paragraph.)

Sunday, April 1, 2012

The 10 People I'm Having Over For Dinner

Oh, hello there.  I am having an amazing dinner party and you're invited.  You're invitation is in the mail (I am very old-fashioned and don't believe in e-mail).  What's great about this dinner party is that it is a magical dinner party.  You see, I was able to invite anyone, fictional or nonfictional, living or dead.  In addition to you and I, I was allowed to invite ten others (I cheated and there are actually a few more than ten other guests).  Everyone else has already RSVP'd (they'll all be attending).  I hope you can make it!


1. Wolverine
We want the dinner party to be cool, don't we?  (We do.)  Well, no one is cooler than Wolverine.  He probably won't talk too much, but that's fine; when he does talk, everyone will listen.  We will have a special smoking corner for Wolverine for when he wants to have a cigar (since we don't want everyone else to get black lungs).

He needs a fork and a spoon, but not a knife.