tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-61872206230956788302024-03-13T18:55:45.200-04:00Jeffrey the Great!Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comBlogger82125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-77695377709344169862014-08-19T20:14:00.001-04:002014-08-19T20:17:43.757-04:00Hand Dryers: The Unknown Danger in the Bathroom<div style="font: 13.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">All humans have several things in common. We all have human DNA, live on Earth (besides one or two astronauts), and are not monkeys. Also, we all go to the bathroom. Going to the bathroom is important because it is how we dispose of waste. In fact, if you did not go to the bathroom you would probably die.</span></div>
<div style="font: 13.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 13.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">One negative of going to the bathroom: Germs. Germs are everywhere and they have been the cause of lots of problems over the years, like the Black Death. Past generations did not know about germs though, so they cannot be blamed.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4r9qUjhiGELjwCbc0vKHRdxy4BtvBFe0o8-EpF47EOGvmz_H7eVEHdGaV4HdBCERxqE5btpoagKA8EDhK1in88AJ0UjmpB1wsSgY_m8RynndXJ5DGKPHUJUmIpYdnjDYoy5XsbnEP1J1/s1600/2014-08-19+11.55.12.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc4r9qUjhiGELjwCbc0vKHRdxy4BtvBFe0o8-EpF47EOGvmz_H7eVEHdGaV4HdBCERxqE5btpoagKA8EDhK1in88AJ0UjmpB1wsSgY_m8RynndXJ5DGKPHUJUmIpYdnjDYoy5XsbnEP1J1/s1600/2014-08-19+11.55.12.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Pictured: Spreader of germs!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="font: 13.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Now that we do know about germs (who are invisible to the naked eye), to combat them we have come up with things like “soap” and “showers”. After we go to the bathroom we (sometimes) wash our hands with soap and then dry them. Bathrooms used to be stocked with paper towels, but now they are being replaced by hand dryers. Hand dryers are more cost efficient and environmentally friendly, but there is one problem with hand dryers… they actually INCREASE THE NUMBER OF BACTERIA ON YOUR HANDS!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 13.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">So how do they do it? The warm atmosphere inside the hand dryer provides the perfect environment for bacteria. When air then blows out of the dryer, bacteria (both from your hands and from inside the dryer itself) is being spread all throughout the room.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 13.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">A study from the University of Westminster (that’s in London), found that washing and then drying hands with a warm hand dryer increased bacteria by an average of <a href="http://www.europeantissue.com/pdfs/090402-2008%20WUS%20Westminster%20University%20hygiene%20study,%20nov2008.pdf"><span style="color: #196ad4; text-decoration: underline;">194% on fingers and 254% on palms</span></a>. In contrast, drying hands with a paper towel decreased bacteria by about 75%. Other studies have found similar results.</span></div>
<div style="font: 13.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="font: 13.0px 'Helvetica Neue'; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: small;">As humans, we are being placed in a very difficult situation because of hand dryers. We feel obligated to wash our hands after going to the bathroom, but when we use hand dryers, we are actually adding to the power of germs. I am not writing this to scare you, but to alert you to a problem that is very, very real. What you want to do with this new information is up to you. You could choose to just not wash your hands (disgusting), use a hand dryer (disgusting), or carry around a roll of paper towels at all times (inconvenient). You could also write a letter to your local congressman/woman about the hand dryer problem. Regardless, be careful, dear reader, because I think it's safe to say that we are at Threat Level Red.</span></div>
Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-15671930728353164952014-08-12T19:55:00.000-04:002014-08-12T22:37:52.188-04:00Dear New Jersey Transit<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear NJ Transit Customer Service Team, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
A commuter waits for his train to arrive early in the
morning—he watches the minutes pass by on his cell phone. Looks like he won’t
get that big promotion after all—not after being late for today’s important
meeting.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Inside Penn Station: a college student. She’s supposed to
head home for her grandmother’s 100<sup>th</sup> birthday party. Instead, she
takes a bite of her second Auntie Anne’s pretzel. Sorry, grandma, I hope you
make it to 101<a href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=6187220623095678830" name="_GoBack"></a>.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And on a train: a baby. The moving of the train rocks this
particular baby to sleep. But the train isn’t moving so the baby cries. NJ
Transit makes babies cry.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Ben Franklin once said that there are only two things
certain in life: death and taxes. But Ben Franklin lived in Pennsylvania. If he
had lived in New Jersey, he would’ve said, there are only three things certain
in life: death, taxes, and that New Jersey Transit is a stinky turd.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We are not halfway through August, and already this month,
travelers have been subjected to constant cancellations, massive delays, and
trips on the PATH to Newark inside packed train cars with crowding similar to
what our ancestors faced when they traveled through Ellis Island. You would
think that after 227 years of existence the Garden State would be able to come
up with an efficient commuter rail system. But, instead of getting people where
they need to be on time, NJ Transit has adopted the persona of the always late
and panicked White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju8iHTgOyyxS3GBGLRgtJvMqr_yWslGnKfEdIR7akk_qLhwTecS8fyMk_D5eDRG0QdUGMoxBp8OdeAtD5kwCSxrNzMechqElCQbZimw9G86XOhFuax7QM1TxAeUdkYWxzQ6seYNOuZ98uU/s1600/jeffontrain.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju8iHTgOyyxS3GBGLRgtJvMqr_yWslGnKfEdIR7akk_qLhwTecS8fyMk_D5eDRG0QdUGMoxBp8OdeAtD5kwCSxrNzMechqElCQbZimw9G86XOhFuax7QM1TxAeUdkYWxzQ6seYNOuZ98uU/s1600/jeffontrain.png" height="320" width="236" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Pictured: Me after another delay.<br />
Note how stressed and drained I look.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Adding insult to injury, NJ Transit is far from cheap. I pay
$361 for a monthly pass from Penn Station to Jersey Avenue. When I fork over my
hard earned cash, I expect a certain level of service, and NJ Transit has not
delivered. Planes offer full or partial refunds when they don’t meet certain
standards; why should trains be different?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I formally request a full refund for my August monthly pass.
I also suggest a major overhaul of NJ Transit and Penn Station. Because deep
down, I still love you, NJ Transit. But I am tired of your cancellations and of
playing second fiddle to those elitists over at Grand Central.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you for your time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sincerely,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Commuter Jeffrey Sperber</div>
<!--EndFragment--><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-41287698244498711112014-04-26T02:58:00.000-04:002014-08-12T20:24:33.835-04:00Top 50 Workout Songs<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnoD9LJarpik_F6avoHgSl2uYr1d3gfOk3p5lXfuRPED-7h1C-LGd9AjP09kk6uktq1MfjRgbSpnVBjzX3nbIwRcPYzofdyW8OVOzcU3g2Ko21XaoFD1-PszURzuZKCXLh4A1mNNX3d29/s1600/hull-gym-weights-2689.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxnoD9LJarpik_F6avoHgSl2uYr1d3gfOk3p5lXfuRPED-7h1C-LGd9AjP09kk6uktq1MfjRgbSpnVBjzX3nbIwRcPYzofdyW8OVOzcU3g2Ko21XaoFD1-PszURzuZKCXLh4A1mNNX3d29/s1600/hull-gym-weights-2689.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
I love my gym, but not only is the music they play there not
loud enough (because they anticipate some people listening to their own music
on headphones), they play some very un-energizing tunes. When “Total Eclipse of
the Heart” came over the speakers a few months ago, I knew I would have to make
my own workout playlists and buy some of those cool Jay-Z Aviator headphones.
(Unfortunately, I do not have $150 to spend on headphones so I just had to
settle for my old $10 ones.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People listen to all kinds of music while they exercise.
Rap. Rock. Jock Jams. The Space Jam soundtrack. Pretty much the only criteria
is that the music helps you get pumped up. (And no, I don’t really listen to
the Space Jam soundtrack… well, maybe just the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrMOxASAmP0">Space Jam theme song</a>!) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Without further ado, here’s a list of 50 songs I listen to
when I work out. You can download them (legally, of course) and put them in a
playlist called “Jeff’s Super Cool Workout Playlist”. Then you will become
strong and fast like me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">50 Songs To Work Out
To:<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Awolnation - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gH2efAcmBQM">Sail</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Naked and Famous - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0YuSg4mts9E">Young Blood</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kavinsky - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MV_3Dpw-BRY">Nightcall</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Want to feel like Ryan
Gosling in the movie Drive? Just listen to this song!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Skrillex - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cR2XilcGYOo">Bangarang</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fun Fact: Skrillex has
won the Grammy for Best Dance Recording and Best Dance Album two years in a
row.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Katy Perry - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJ4VrcONkQs">Dark Horse</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0uIh611loE">White Walls</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Icona Pop - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UxxajLWwzqY">I Love It</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Crash your car into a
bridge? Don’t worry about it; just let it burn. Icona Pop doesn’t care. This
song is like Modest Mouse’s “Float On” except it’s a dance song sung by two hot
girls and not by a bunch of average-looking hipster guys.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Icona Pop - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=73SSOMb84AU">Good for You</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Rapture - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qfxCvwyxms">How Deep is Your Love?</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Macklemore - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p5-fxTgDNg">And We Danced</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Karmin - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJWJfRAGnHc">Acapella</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Death Grips - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DigtCrO77L8">I’ve Seen Footage</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jay-Z & Kanye West - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=meJEOxLYjLA">Ni**as in Paris</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kid Cudi - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAMLRb8hGCk">Erase Me</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Relationships are
clearly very complicated for Kid Cudi.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Notorious B.I.G. - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6kmOyaONbA">Hypnotize</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eminem - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmXumtgwtak">Lose Yourself</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">This song is basically
tailor-made to work out to. Also, it makes me want to go spit mad rhymes.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Eminem - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsyvCC_QrrY">Without Me</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Flo Rida - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jySEEp6v6SU">How I Feel</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kanye West - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcjkkBtXgIc">Love Lockdown</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Kanye West was having
love trouble. This song was pre-Kim K. of course.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lil Jon & the East Side Boyz - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYH7_GzP4Tg">Get Low</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">There is no excuse for
having this song on this list. The music video makes me even more ashamed for
including it. (Also great: The fact that the official music video is edited,
resulting in the song being even more ridiculous.)<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Reverend Run - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9DToO0ARQw">Mind on the Road</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">If it’s good enough to
be background music in Madden ’06, it’s good enough for you.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Rick Ross - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EDsrBFoRRps">B.M.F. (Blowin’ Money Fast)</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
50 Cent - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eR3BTLulm4s">In Da Club</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Waka Flocka Flame - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OUnH72gyTK8">Grove St. Party</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tone Loc - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=387ZDGSKVSg">Wild Thing</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">After “Wild Thing”,
Tone Loc went on to become extremely famous, writing countless other hit songs.
Not.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Snap - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nm6DO_7px1I">The
Power</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Young MC - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xy4FXhkm6Nw">Bust a Move</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The best lyrics ever: <o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Your best friend Harry
has a brother Larry<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">In five days from now
he’s gonna marry<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">He’s hopin’ you can make
it there if you can<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Cause in the ceremony
you’ll be the best man<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tag Team - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8AyVhs3gJU">Whoomp! (There It Is)</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Len -“<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1fzJ_AYajA">Steal
My Sunshine</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Garvey - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_DVS_303kQ">Goodbye Horses</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yeah, that’s right.
“Goodbye Horses”. Just listen to this song and try not to think about that
scene in Silence of the Lambs. It’s got a good beat to lift to.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Nelly - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9dp-jxGD2o">Ride With Me</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You can find this song
on one of those NOW CDs.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
La Roux - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2oxfP6693c">Bulletproof</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Grouplove - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G45QmaBlJCo">Tongue Tied</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hot Chip - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu9DWID35XU">Ready for the Floor</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
MGMT - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aBd46BbdTfs">Kids</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Ah, MGMT really takes
me back to the good ol’ days pregamming freshman year of college before going
out.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Silversun Pickups - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YiUXl0TwR8">Kissing Families</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mark Ronson & The Business INTL. - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rktagwzW3XQ">You Gave Me Nothing</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Twin Shadows - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruHzYtq0oRU">Five Seconds</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Against Me! - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-p3B9aW8YKk">Thrash Unreal</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fun Fact: The lead
singer of Against Me! had a sex change and is now a woman.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Against Me! - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DL7NU5ByAsE">Don’t Lose Touch</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Diamond Nights - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqKWGH1uCkI">The Girl’s Attractive</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Blink-182 - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=623nUwFrNiw">Feeling This</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Blink-182 was a very
angsty band!<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Killers - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gGdGFtwCNBE">Mr. Brightside</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Kills - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6wUPCqwWI8">Cheap and Cheerful</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lit - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6wUPCqwWI8">My
Own Worst Enemy</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Zombie Nation - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPoiPZYbtnA">Kernkraft 400</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">When this song first
starts, you’re like, “What in the world am I listening to?” But then, at around
the 1:10 mark, you realize you’re listening to the most popular sports anthem
of all time.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Britney Spears - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOZuxwVk7TU">Toxic</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Shortly after this
song was released, Britney married Kevin Federline. Toxic indeed.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pearl Jam - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kj-sFIHQWLY">The Fixer</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
M.I.A., ft. Lil Wayne, 50 Cent - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qyAn7_d7JPU">Paper Planes” Remix</a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">It’s M.I.A.’s “Paper
Planes”…Only they remixed it and made it better.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Cher Lloyd - “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LPgvNlrBfb0">Want You Back</a>”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
BONUS MUSIC</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
**Sometimes I lift while listening to mashup artists, namely
<a href="http://illegal-art.net/allday/">Girl Talk</a> and <a href="http://thewhitepanda1.bandcamp.com/album/bambooyah">The White Panda</a>.
Both are pretty good since their music is fast-paced and plays like one
continuous track.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Happy listening! Now go work out.</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-25727259070432599392014-02-04T21:13:00.000-05:002014-08-12T20:22:05.988-04:00Top 10 Fictional Characters You Love That You Would Actually Hate<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
It may come as a shock to most of you, but many of the
characters from your favorite TV shows or movies are fictional. (That means not
real.)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Unless you live in a cave and are a feral person (and how
would you have Internet access if that were the case), you know these popular
characters. Some of them, almost all of them actually, were originally found in
works of literature, but let’s face it, none of you read books anymore. (Well,
almost none of you; I’m looking at you, bookworm!) </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So without further ado, here they are, ten characters you
love on the big screen (or small screen) that would annoy the dickens out of
you if they were real.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">10. Tony Stark (Iron Man)</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTXYra3t3iGLk_6S8-MdnYq38m6L8WThzBFEksdVHdNlisCTNiYgSTfgSP1hqUIUBc2NbM1DmBwjOn_dL7428f7kEwcwboyo-y3DScBUHiubVScGfxTAQzLDdfaGXhc_DNC4zSG1fNcVEq/s1600/Robert-Downey-Jr-Tony-Stark-Iron-Man-3-Marvel-Disney.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTXYra3t3iGLk_6S8-MdnYq38m6L8WThzBFEksdVHdNlisCTNiYgSTfgSP1hqUIUBc2NbM1DmBwjOn_dL7428f7kEwcwboyo-y3DScBUHiubVScGfxTAQzLDdfaGXhc_DNC4zSG1fNcVEq/s1600/Robert-Downey-Jr-Tony-Stark-Iron-Man-3-Marvel-Disney.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a>A super-intelligent jerk with a super suit that gets all of
the girls and thinks he’s the best human who ever lived—yeah, that sounds like
someone I’d want to be friends with. NOT!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tony Stark is a self-centered, arrogant know-it-all. He
never shuts up and loves to brag. Plus, he’s not reliable and he’s a drunk.
Sure, he might save the world on occasion, but you definitely wouldn’t like the
guy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">9. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (All four of them)</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might be “awesome” on TV,
but think of how incredibly obnoxious they’d be in reality. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKN8Hs_4resyX20pfozrKz1fjX_I1I8B0RHYm1k77rtXDI9-yXviBXP1_vML6_bWp1XyyqHb3jkAWVauAy576dWIt_rvuwKwyQewKSmQ4hhOJRB3dBpUzrlxugQu0CyR5ut7oW7UxzYQm/s1600/Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-Episode-170-Get-Shredder-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEKN8Hs_4resyX20pfozrKz1fjX_I1I8B0RHYm1k77rtXDI9-yXviBXP1_vML6_bWp1XyyqHb3jkAWVauAy576dWIt_rvuwKwyQewKSmQ4hhOJRB3dBpUzrlxugQu0CyR5ut7oW7UxzYQm/s1600/Teenage-Mutant-Ninja-Turtles-Episode-170-Get-Shredder-.jpg" height="247" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Michelangelo is basically a stoner. He’s the guy who comes
to your house and eats all your food. (“Cowabunga, what’s the big deal?”)
Raphael is a jerk—remember the song, he’s “cool, but crude”. Donatello is a big
nerd and a showoff. Leonardo might be the only one of the four who’s alright,
but as the leader of the group, he’s somewhat pompous. Plus, they’re giant
turtles. Giant turtles would terrify you. (Also, why do they wear masks? Do
they really think they’re concealing their identities?)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>8. Kramer</b></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiokhHJ9H-MDHVDmv_iDV-3s4m4O9htQWml66jjghbpDjdQJuz30Ymxj-ZSd0fR9PW8EqAf48Ctsj6ly7jQOjzSzqEFECNbsO2UFVRO5O2Z6gCtr73qBY1sP7GpVsLNO5TwdW_L8FN7OcUU/s1600/kramer032.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiokhHJ9H-MDHVDmv_iDV-3s4m4O9htQWml66jjghbpDjdQJuz30Ymxj-ZSd0fR9PW8EqAf48Ctsj6ly7jQOjzSzqEFECNbsO2UFVRO5O2Z6gCtr73qBY1sP7GpVsLNO5TwdW_L8FN7OcUU/s1600/kramer032.jpg" height="200" width="150" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kramer is the kind of person who would be funny once in a
while, but 90% of the time you wouldn’t be able to stand the guy. Kramer barges
in unannounced and acts in a generally ridiculous manner. He’s funny in the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Seinfeld</i> universe and the other
characters on the show typically don’t mind how he acts, but in the real world,
oddball Cosmo Kramer wouldn’t have too many friends.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>7. Gollum</b></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxWNNnBbpbgxQg3C7AJNuL71cHeNdB8z5nqyX3Y5EuKwoO2NcMcwHkYqt6RAsqGsqFz5pmTRYOf3pKzztLoiA0siU605eMeKNdGOXhwYkOPaSzF0y8tvUlvZXGdgin7kcNh6dNY8rH0T1g/s1600/gollumface.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxWNNnBbpbgxQg3C7AJNuL71cHeNdB8z5nqyX3Y5EuKwoO2NcMcwHkYqt6RAsqGsqFz5pmTRYOf3pKzztLoiA0siU605eMeKNdGOXhwYkOPaSzF0y8tvUlvZXGdgin7kcNh6dNY8rH0T1g/s1600/gollumface.jpg" height="199" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Who doesn’t love saying “my precious” in a Gollum voice? I
know I sure love doing my Gollum impression. (I also do an excellent
Christopher Walken, Rain Man, and Bill the Butcher from <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gangs of New York.</i>)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Gollum might be great on the big screen (and in the LOTR
books) because he’s amusing and sort of funny, but can you imagine actually
trying to deal with the little freak? You’d probably react the same way towards
him that Sam does. Also, Gollum would try to steal your jewelry.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>6. Captain Kirk</b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Kirk is a hotshot, conceited, self-centered, attention-seeking captain—sounds like a
great guy. (Sarcasm.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgemhnFhJKNL0Pc9vDPgckd8oNWABjPKorQQfZ5Nbv3mEEqmvZvVj5khEnRQ4EUT5QM4kvGMBcMIA9eez4hDZkcjqVdfE_DPzVcfSfeQrMH34MKBxbOzLZOuwneu033ahrj4W5-iNKdcCGo/s1600/images.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgemhnFhJKNL0Pc9vDPgckd8oNWABjPKorQQfZ5Nbv3mEEqmvZvVj5khEnRQ4EUT5QM4kvGMBcMIA9eez4hDZkcjqVdfE_DPzVcfSfeQrMH34MKBxbOzLZOuwneu033ahrj4W5-iNKdcCGo/s1600/images.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Captain Kirk going against orders to do what he thinks is
right might be entertaining, but when it’s my life on the line, I don’t want
some crazed man-whore taking dumb chances that are going to get me killed. I’d
probably be a redshirt after all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">5. Dwight Schrute</span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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Dwight is typically a hilarious character (at least on the
first few seasons of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Office</i>
before it went downhill). One time on the show, Dwight lies to Michael and
tells him he was at the dentist. When Michael asks him what his dentist’s name
is, Dwight replies: “Crentist”. When Michael says that his name sounds a lot
like dentist, Dwight replies, “Maybe that’s why he became a dentist”.</div>
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As an outsider looking in, it’s hard not to love Dwight, but
in the real world, when he’s knocking things off your desk since they overlap
onto his space, he wouldn’t be quite as funny.</div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">4. Katniss Everdeen</span></b></div>
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Katniss is a good, strong female role model for girls
everywhere in theory, but if she were real, I don’t think too many ladies would
be fans. First off, she is way to pretty for a poor girl from District 12.
Also, she is a showoff. This might help her get sponsors in the games, but in
the real world it wouldn’t be such a positive characteristic.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ1xcOq_2kshepHXO2OPN6OLPPe4pCzSC1hQB32sdiC0A0c__vKI-_ht3u_xBawjFs6ON2tAdSVGhdbclaXJNSGTVkDUu2bndqJYN8s_n9-oX6Mlf1CULceZCh6wm96BwEf7h3RqsaLzCn/s1600/katniss-katniss-everdeen-32304837-900-600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ1xcOq_2kshepHXO2OPN6OLPPe4pCzSC1hQB32sdiC0A0c__vKI-_ht3u_xBawjFs6ON2tAdSVGhdbclaXJNSGTVkDUu2bndqJYN8s_n9-oX6Mlf1CULceZCh6wm96BwEf7h3RqsaLzCn/s1600/katniss-katniss-everdeen-32304837-900-600.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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As for all you male readers, consider how Katniss used Peeta
and messed with his head during their first Hunger Games. Just because you
don’t care about Peeta since he is annoying (and named after a type of bread…
and he’s a baker… hey, I get it!), imagine if she used you the same way.
Katniss is the ultimate tease. Plus, after she breaks your heart, she’ll
probably kill you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">3. Walter White</span></b></div>
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Who doesn’t love a good villain? Just like Tony Soprano
before him, Walter White exemplifies an antihero that many fans loved to root
for despite his evil-doings. </div>
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In reality though, "Walt" is a heartless criminal mastermind.
He’s willing to kill at the drop of a (funny) hat. You would fear Heisenberg if
he weren’t fictitious, not like him.</div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2. Sherlock Holmes (BBC Sherlock version)</span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipCZuMkK88Q0IWlO-WYlGeuH-lo4dwIoJfuL-vmjgGrK0wo_u5dZLX9Y6hVsBiEiPV85Slnrxb4EvMlp8ex79ieqhbrghvYiHzD8AZJu0M95Z1EQiEfNkGMlqehlJtZEeRTWEETm-2Ha-T/s1600/Sherlock-sherlock-on-bbc-one-14249212-550-850.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipCZuMkK88Q0IWlO-WYlGeuH-lo4dwIoJfuL-vmjgGrK0wo_u5dZLX9Y6hVsBiEiPV85Slnrxb4EvMlp8ex79ieqhbrghvYiHzD8AZJu0M95Z1EQiEfNkGMlqehlJtZEeRTWEETm-2Ha-T/s1600/Sherlock-sherlock-on-bbc-one-14249212-550-850.jpg" height="200" width="129" /></a></div>
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I don’t watch the current American Sherlock Holmes series
because if I’m going to watch television, I prefer watching good television
(and there’s no better show right now than <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Sherlock</i>.)
There’s also no better character on TV right now than Benedict Cumberbatch’s
fast-talking, master of deduction, Sherlock Holmes. He is equally amusing,
knowledgeable, and witty.</div>
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However, Sherlock’s pompousness and lack of compassion would
make him incredibly difficult to deal with if he were a part of your everyday
life. You wouldn’t be able to get a word in before Sherlock rattles off a bunch
of information he’s already figured out about you. He might be fun at parties,
but after a while you’d want to punch him in the face.</div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1. Harry Potter</span></b></div>
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Harry Potter is just about as annoying as humanly possible
(or wizardly possible). He somehow manages to be a goody two-shoes, sucking up
to Dumbledore and that massive oaf Hagrid, and a “rebel”, sneaking around with
his invisibility cloak. Both sides of Harry are equally obnoxious. Potter also
plays the role of the hero while keeping up the “who me?” attitude. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOsoCGQ2wNKD-ZdGBzQcmujbk2Ha9ZWA0wGAdsBydTiumio6UpBJw-PjwVNr2G0xXVA1DbrsQE4zEt52DYSskokx2tVrhEdIKGegQCjwiFAU1STE55QfRCbZm5Zl-LnpRZgaxI4SFPudYC/s1600/Harry+Potter.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOsoCGQ2wNKD-ZdGBzQcmujbk2Ha9ZWA0wGAdsBydTiumio6UpBJw-PjwVNr2G0xXVA1DbrsQE4zEt52DYSskokx2tVrhEdIKGegQCjwiFAU1STE55QfRCbZm5Zl-LnpRZgaxI4SFPudYC/s1600/Harry+Potter.jpg" height="264" width="320" /></a></div>
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“I’m the best qudditch player ever. I won the Triwizard
Tournament. I saved the world and defeated Voldemort. Gee wiz, I can’t believe
it. And to think I grew up in a closet. Let me pat myself on the back.”</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-80012554524345353252013-03-25T02:44:00.004-04:002014-08-12T20:22:23.560-04:00March Madness Sweet Sixteen: Picking Winners Using MascotsWell, the first week of March Madness is over and, if you're anything like me, you still have a perfect bracket. (<a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/basketball/ncaa/men/2013/ncaa_tourney/brackets/?sct=hp_t11_a12&eref=sihp" target="_blank">My bracket</a>.)<br />
<br />
However, most of you reading this are probably not like me since most people-- except maybe my clones-- are not like me. (It is also debatable whether or not my clones are really people and whether they should have the right to vote. I do not care if they have the right to vote, but one day I will harvest their organs. Unless, of course, I am a clone and don't know it, in which case, I am against that.)<br />
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Anyways, luckily for all of you non-winners out there (I do not want to use a harsh word like "losers" and hurt anyone's feelings), Yahoo! and a bunch of other sports websites run "Second Chance" brackets where you pick the winners for the remaining games. Then, if you get them all right (and you'll likely need to win some tiebreakers too), you win $5,000. Sure, it's not the million bucks you'd have gotten for a perfect original bracket, but it'll have to do.<br />
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So how do you pick the winners. Personally, I use a system of complex mathematical algorithms that I've created along with some old, powerful voodoo that was taught to me by an old mystic I met in a little hut while journeying through the Amazon with only the clothes on my back and a canteen full of water.<br />
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Since you cannot use my prediction methods unless you want to pay my teaching fee (10,000 euros-- I only like to be paid in euros now), your best chance for success is to make your picks based upon team mascots. Mascots can be a very good indicator when it comes to who will win basketball games. They also favor heavily into the mystic's teachings, which revealed to me that "Bird Mascots" would do fantastic this year-- and *Boom* SEVEN bird mascot teams have made it to the Sweet Sixteen. Amazing.<br />
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Here are the mascot matchups for the Sweet Sixteen and who you should pick going forward.<br />
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<b>CARDINAL BIRD (Louisville, No. 1) vs. THE OREGON DUCK (Oregon, No. 12)</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifLV-vxZHZXH3ELJ-wA1AOBlPzg9IsBAAlllKGp7KNiPObSFvVVgDYpRKLzDyY5tcgrdPMUJZLVPMmE7oNHhGyea5xy0vgZ0Pr1NBTfLfH2A6urowRWl0hUyR8sq0tY9K8wp5ANvkDf9aU/s1600/louisville+oregon.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifLV-vxZHZXH3ELJ-wA1AOBlPzg9IsBAAlllKGp7KNiPObSFvVVgDYpRKLzDyY5tcgrdPMUJZLVPMmE7oNHhGyea5xy0vgZ0Pr1NBTfLfH2A6urowRWl0hUyR8sq0tY9K8wp5ANvkDf9aU/s400/louisville+oregon.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
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On one hand, we have a scary red cardinal. On the other, we have chubby Donald Duck wearing green instead of blue. This isn't Disney World, fool! Cardinal Bird looks like he's about to open up a can o' whoop ass on big duckie.</div>
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<b>WINNER: Cardinal Bird</b></div>
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<b>BLUE DEVIL (Duke, No. 2) vs. SPARTY (Michigan St., No. 3)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLw66kiKKl1Gv1x7T8exEmSp56mh8tKRZw-gXkixRc8w83V70IPbnaPdXKwKL_NmsD_URkoobaKAc5lJjzY-BI3nvUju5vlYwvudvPbPbpJqeuXPANDpyKTjA2RU-maTW1ftyLOT7Dwq7e/s1600/duke+michigan+st.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLw66kiKKl1Gv1x7T8exEmSp56mh8tKRZw-gXkixRc8w83V70IPbnaPdXKwKL_NmsD_URkoobaKAc5lJjzY-BI3nvUju5vlYwvudvPbPbpJqeuXPANDpyKTjA2RU-maTW1ftyLOT7Dwq7e/s400/duke+michigan+st.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
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There are so many ways that you could make a Blue Devil mascot look cool and only exactly one way that you could make it look super lame. Duke has chosen the one super lame way. Fake biceps? A dumb plastic mask? If the real devil could see this he'd be ashamed. At least Sparty looks sorta cool. He's also about to go into 'roid rage any minute now.</div>
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<b>WINNER: Sparty</b></div>
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<b>WUSHOCK (Witchita St., No. 9) vs. THE EXPLORER (La Salle, No. 13)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh93pbts5RLpPwRcecKL3xMCIAfdAnrFwyNrEXCTM1CYSOiWvgdBaK8MVQ7mlDLLqzaS2XBHUQo_erFgSfzSMhp-wKMnN0fX3sOV7ol-ABnXX9fWUMcp6WBfOgaCDeJqGIsQWwmpsV0afM6/s1600/witchita+state.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh93pbts5RLpPwRcecKL3xMCIAfdAnrFwyNrEXCTM1CYSOiWvgdBaK8MVQ7mlDLLqzaS2XBHUQo_erFgSfzSMhp-wKMnN0fX3sOV7ol-ABnXX9fWUMcp6WBfOgaCDeJqGIsQWwmpsV0afM6/s400/witchita+state.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
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It is hard to make a mascot based off of wheat horrifying, but congratulations, Wichita State, you have done it. I always thought Withcita State's team name, the Shockers, had something to do with lightning. Boy, am I dumb. It is because long ago their students used to earn money by harvesting (aka shocking) wheat. Wow. The Explorer (great name) looks like a pervert muppet.</div>
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<b>WINNER: WuShock</b></div>
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<b>BRUTUS BUCKEYE (Ohio St., No. 2) vs. WILBUR (Arizona, No. 6)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ44UvE92D5UdmsRr6wQDhM6uE-r1mU6yBscl0nawk7OibL0CBhY5V63ZNitTudJJTkVTItvDi-lL-A7r4b3breW6BYtviN8zxrzV5V8ky4Ox8L8W9dgh50UFiVMK3mis7bDTz9X9os7UB/s1600/arizona+ohio.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ44UvE92D5UdmsRr6wQDhM6uE-r1mU6yBscl0nawk7OibL0CBhY5V63ZNitTudJJTkVTItvDi-lL-A7r4b3breW6BYtviN8zxrzV5V8ky4Ox8L8W9dgh50UFiVMK3mis7bDTz9X9os7UB/s400/arizona+ohio.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
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I hate Brutus Buckeye. I. Hate. Him. He is a giant nut-headed freak and it makes me nauseous just looking at him. On my list of creatures that I do not like, he is right at the bottom below the dog at the dog park who ate his own poop and then came over to me and tried to lick me. That is how low he is. He is the scum of the earth. That is why I am picking the hillbilly, trailer park wildcat to beat him.</div>
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<b>WINNER: Wilbur</b></div>
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<b>JAYHAWK (Kansas, No. 1) vs. NO MASCOT (Michigan, No. 4)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWuXNlrXpmCH8KDE0dR7RwGz2PsjXAUe83-LbwTP2LmTQw-kNc3DvAFL0WDAbzWbry1b6hnExNuNEzvAdOCS-BusYPXY6QqozmcliCIcJMsAIJvkIQgE4vfGBEd7-jD18o-YhwYBF3ibdG/s1600/michigan+kansas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWuXNlrXpmCH8KDE0dR7RwGz2PsjXAUe83-LbwTP2LmTQw-kNc3DvAFL0WDAbzWbry1b6hnExNuNEzvAdOCS-BusYPXY6QqozmcliCIcJMsAIJvkIQgE4vfGBEd7-jD18o-YhwYBF3ibdG/s400/michigan+kansas.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
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I hate schools that think they're too cool for a mascot. Look how sad Jayhawk is, he just wants some mascot competition. Michigan's nickname is the wolverines; why couldn't they come up with an awesome wolverine costume? Better yet, why not bring a live wolverine to every game? I hear they are friendly.</div>
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<b>WINNER: Jayhawk</b></div>
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<b>ALBERT (Floria, No. 3) vs. AZUL (Florida Gulf Coast, No. 15)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRqL5x572YIR-eAzU6qYyTzAtgQgJK5d7FTIS28ZG9NX7sVLJxXVgv0RQivI1vlW-ibmYhhy12HhmxHMUZ28F-VRIaiMsza6rxdA5d2l_NoBY-ihg_EP4PkkbBabjiTy8IwoqA_vnlwFRI/s1600/florida+florida+gulf+coast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRqL5x572YIR-eAzU6qYyTzAtgQgJK5d7FTIS28ZG9NX7sVLJxXVgv0RQivI1vlW-ibmYhhy12HhmxHMUZ28F-VRIaiMsza6rxdA5d2l_NoBY-ihg_EP4PkkbBabjiTy8IwoqA_vnlwFRI/s400/florida+florida+gulf+coast.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
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It's nice to see that Albert's been working out. Look at those guns. Seriously though, how old is that costume? Azul isn't much better, but at least he knows how to bust a move.</div>
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<b>WINNER: Azul</b></div>
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<b>NO MASCOT (Indiana, No. 1) vs. OTTO THE ORANGE (Syracuse, No. 4)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4xHgaMRY8av6qbqYc8p_yOk3JOs1BJgMj1La10DwWNUpwqr9rmzjeZtpG2w9Dc_JWBlFBGCLBgUyVOakC-p8I7sYWErIZsNEdd7UYm8IrI4kVYqqPumcuGmE8LKXIwYnR-IXkE8QXYkpZ/s1600/indiana+syracuse.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4xHgaMRY8av6qbqYc8p_yOk3JOs1BJgMj1La10DwWNUpwqr9rmzjeZtpG2w9Dc_JWBlFBGCLBgUyVOakC-p8I7sYWErIZsNEdd7UYm8IrI4kVYqqPumcuGmE8LKXIwYnR-IXkE8QXYkpZ/s400/indiana+syracuse.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
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Let's be honest, even if Indiana had a mascot odds are it wouldn't beat a giant, smiling orange.</div>
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<b>WINNER: Otto the Orange</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>SEBASTIAN THE IBIS (Miami, No. 2) vs. THE GOLDEN EAGLE (Marquette, No. 3)</b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6ejwnaiyT_BKQAlgU0TWedrZgrKd1X1ADM6-p5jtKiFx_R-eGizRry2oPujdopb9GWhYbD9Og8CLJ6a0zV3Wm1XiKzyNhXB8Iiq5UJbinqigKVFHf0IHr4C3v8ScqKBV_LT8kMvOyK-iW/s1600/marquette+miami.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6ejwnaiyT_BKQAlgU0TWedrZgrKd1X1ADM6-p5jtKiFx_R-eGizRry2oPujdopb9GWhYbD9Og8CLJ6a0zV3Wm1XiKzyNhXB8Iiq5UJbinqigKVFHf0IHr4C3v8ScqKBV_LT8kMvOyK-iW/s400/marquette+miami.jpg" height="263" width="400" /></a></div>
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Apparently the Oregon Duck has a nasty uncle named Sebastian the Ibis. Look at the eyebrows on Sebastian-- they're great. But I think it's really that little sailor hat with the team name on it that ties the whole costume together. Or maybe that he has Yeti arms instead of duck wings. Or his blindingly orange jersey. He's just fantastic. The Golden Eagle is too plastic looking to compete with the spunk and character of Sebastian.</div>
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<b>WINNER: Sebastian the Ibis</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Using the winners from above, we can figure out who will win the entire tournament!</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>ELITE EIGHT</b></div>
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<b>Sparty (No. 3 Michigan St.) over Cardinal Bird (No. 1 Louisville)</b></div>
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<b>WuShock (No. 9 Witchita St.) over Wilbur (No. 6 Arizona)</b></div>
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<b>Jayhawk (No. 1 Kansas) over Azul (No. 15 Florida Gulf Coast)</b></div>
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<b>Sebastian the Ibis (No. 2 Miami) over Otto the Orange (No. 4 Syracuse)</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>FINAL FOUR</b></div>
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<b>WuShock over Sparty</b></div>
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<b>Sebasitan the Ibis over Jayhawk</b></div>
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<b><br /></b></div>
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<b>CHAMPIONSHIP</b></div>
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<b>Sebastian the Ibis over WuShock</b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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So there you have it-- take Miami and its so-awful-it's-got-to-be-good mascot, Sebastian the Ibis, over Witchita State's menacing WuShock, the scary bundle of wheat.</div>
Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-63294612773402963822013-01-22T23:02:00.000-05:002013-05-18T16:56:46.660-04:00Top 10 Worst Board Games Ever<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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For as long as man has existed, there have been board games.
In fact, archaeologists now think that cavemen invented fire so that they could
play backgammon late into the night. (Also, they would be able to use the fire
to see if dinosaurs were heading towards their caves.)</div>
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<br /></div>
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Nowadays, board games are a fun way to pass the time if
there is a power outage in your neighborhood and you can’t watch TV. They are
great for children and also for college students who want to do something while
pregamming before a night out (a case in which some rules might have to be
modified to allow for alcohol consumption).</div>
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<br /></div>
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One example of a popular board game is Monopoly. Monopoly is
so popular that Hasbro has made roughly 1,000,000 different versions of it. I
do not like Monopoly (not even the SpongeBob version) because it takes too
long to play and I have little patience. Also, people always play Monopoly with
different rules and one person always takes the game way too seriously and
another person always takes the game not seriously at all (me) and might even
try to cheat and take extra fake money (me again). Despite this, after hours
and hours of extensive research, I have determined that Monopoly is not one of
the worst board games ever. </div>
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<br />
<a name='more'></a><br /></div>
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The following ten games are the worst of the worst. Some of
them give a bad message to children. Others are boring or awful to play. And
some of them are just plain dumb.</div>
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<br /></div>
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*Please note: Some of the games on this list aren’t actually
played on a “board”. However, they are still in the Board Games section of toy
websites, so I am considering them as such.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">10. CLUE<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjut0a1V98Cqo-D2otND5MP7H1AWmlOMumVgnxFP6U1bKGzca6exj6URn32zNUxZ29WuO3IneXyHbkB54lpJ-gJBWeOKeX2uz7eujsMK8bOiBLn81i7FGHhipqoSewAqn-DbFBtGJvZa9U5/s1600/hg-clue-bs-092011-7103.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="197" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjut0a1V98Cqo-D2otND5MP7H1AWmlOMumVgnxFP6U1bKGzca6exj6URn32zNUxZ29WuO3IneXyHbkB54lpJ-gJBWeOKeX2uz7eujsMK8bOiBLn81i7FGHhipqoSewAqn-DbFBtGJvZa9U5/s320/hg-clue-bs-092011-7103.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Let’s think for a moment as to what the game Clue is really
about. It is about MURDER. It is about the killing of a kindly old man, Mr.
Boddy, who has invited a group of friends to his mansion for a party. Was Mr.
Boddy killed by a tasteless poison causing him to peacefully fall asleep
forever? NOPE! He was murdered in some heinous fashion with weapons like a
wrench, rope, and revolver. Is this a children’s game or the next <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Saw</i> movie?</div>
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Upon discovering Mr. Boddy’s mutilated corpse, his guests
don’t call the police. Instead, they decide to investigate by themselves. Not
only is this dangerous, but if they do find the murderer before he kills them,
we can only assume they will exact some sort of vigilante justice.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Not only does Clue have a bad message for youngsters, it
somehow manages to be about murder and mystery (and have that slutty Miss
Scarlett) and still be boring as hell.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">9. TROUBLE<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglq-3qzfJA5A_Civd9Z6th2Tm7PbqEpIi7W5S3RrBKaDN_oGELeeSqHm6mYXEPpnwBg22qSTIsOofTPnU-h_oIii8jTdYCMKsnMHb9hIsYdfi47Fdwk_UYvZI-Sz_Oe6AYA3NgPLXKDQoH/s1600/pTRU1-2788803reg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglq-3qzfJA5A_Civd9Z6th2Tm7PbqEpIi7W5S3RrBKaDN_oGELeeSqHm6mYXEPpnwBg22qSTIsOofTPnU-h_oIii8jTdYCMKsnMHb9hIsYdfi47Fdwk_UYvZI-Sz_Oe6AYA3NgPLXKDQoH/s1600/pTRU1-2788803reg.jpg" /></a></div>
It really “troubles” me to put Trouble on this list because
I like Trouble. However, after all of my research, I’ve realized that it needs
to be somewhere on here. That is because Trouble is basically Sorry for
"special" people. There is ZERO skill. There is ZERO thinking involved. Instead
of playing Trouble you are probably better off doing something more exciting
and thought provoking, like a puzzle or going to the American Museum of Natural
History.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Fun Fact: Trouble is a rip-off of an old German game called
Mensch argere dich nicht. I prefer this original version.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">8. ELEFUN – THE
CLASSIC BUTTERFLY BLASTING CATCHING GAME<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJG7ZRliFu5mio0KpsrPNKO1cLMIcDWtOOfhpnL-vgk2jiltSMLn24D73lzNgZ9v6Z5xtsvEffOLw_LMsuj1YxqRZg08vV5E07S0yPyThg-IlQMqHDDC9ibmcS5lUgzJOIk45BURlX7vWK/s1600/pTRU1-14037805enh-z6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJG7ZRliFu5mio0KpsrPNKO1cLMIcDWtOOfhpnL-vgk2jiltSMLn24D73lzNgZ9v6Z5xtsvEffOLw_LMsuj1YxqRZg08vV5E07S0yPyThg-IlQMqHDDC9ibmcS5lUgzJOIk45BURlX7vWK/s320/pTRU1-14037805enh-z6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Why are butterflies coming out of the elephant’s trunk? Elephants
and butterflies are two things that should never be combined. If you want to
catch butterflies, get a butterfly net, go outside, and catch some butterflies.
The sun will do you good. If you want to see an elephant, go to the zoo. (Or go
to Africa, but make sure that you get all of your shots first.)</div>
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<br /></div>
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The game is also dangerous for children and comes with the
following warning:</div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">CAUTION: Hair
entanglement may result if child’s hair comes in contact with moving parts of game.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br />
“Hey, Jeff, why’d you shave your head?”</div>
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“Oh, I had to shave it to untangle myself after I got caught
in the elephant’s trunk playing Elefun.”</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">7. HUNGRY HUNGRY
HIPPOS<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMISAwbOQBijxP8an2Wd9bDkwKFwcW4Slp4aq1FZ_85buM7ogQOqR-mJdHDTprWBwev_gKml5XIzJEe6gfSmy6I96Xb9n9YPDgJ9V5NgkJHDHzZ_PvXhpqu0tSYzQuqzyadL8mPViAbDXk/s1600/pTRU1-13549373_alternate1_reg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjMISAwbOQBijxP8an2Wd9bDkwKFwcW4Slp4aq1FZ_85buM7ogQOqR-mJdHDTprWBwev_gKml5XIzJEe6gfSmy6I96Xb9n9YPDgJ9V5NgkJHDHzZ_PvXhpqu0tSYzQuqzyadL8mPViAbDXk/s1600/pTRU1-13549373_alternate1_reg.jpg" /></a></div>
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Here comes the hate mail because I know many people really
love this game for some reason. (Probably to be ironic.) </div>
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Hungry Hungry Hippos is a piece of junk. It always breaks.
You slam down a lever trying to eat marbles you throw into the middle of the
board as hard as you can and as fast as you can. It’s also 0% fun. The average
amount of time someone can play Hungry Hungry Hippos before getting bored is
around 2 minutes.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I haven’t even mentioned that the game doesn’t make sense.
Hippos don’t eat marbles.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">6. AMERICAN IDOL ALL
STAR CHALLENGE GAME<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHOqUZ5uYWCyjMc0CRxsv5VuqNX7QhHb93bsAhLubmGUBSc8lJ4-AlvUfVXwUYelWfKGJ5jBSvglRoyzjLoDEt4fdEJHJUPlHA___YiiIBrwkErkoJoFBPDyPGvu1fZerGtVUsd6Y82kXo/s1600/pTRU1-11791737dt.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHOqUZ5uYWCyjMc0CRxsv5VuqNX7QhHb93bsAhLubmGUBSc8lJ4-AlvUfVXwUYelWfKGJ5jBSvglRoyzjLoDEt4fdEJHJUPlHA___YiiIBrwkErkoJoFBPDyPGvu1fZerGtVUsd6Y82kXo/s320/pTRU1-11791737dt.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Most games based off of TV shows are crap, but this one
looks the worst. First off, if you want to save yourself $54.99 (not kidding,
that’s the actual price), you can just hold your own singing competition or get
drunk and go do karaoke.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Secondly, you know a game is going to be awful when it
includes way too many pieces and cards. American Idol All Star Challenge Game
(which is a super-catchy name by the way), comes with the following:</div>
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Game DVD</div>
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1 Game Board</div>
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4 Tokens</div>
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16 Talents Cards</div>
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4 Category Reference Cards</div>
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1 Eight-Sided Category Die</div>
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60 Performance Stars</div>
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1 Echo Chamber</div>
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Microphone</div>
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Instruction Sheet</div>
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<br /></div>
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I wonder if you really need that instruction sheet or if you
can just figure out the rules on your own.</div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">5. CANDY LAND<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgSFE6fIEcnueySkMdeMwNQngJRHT26BsSDwRQRPVkgimY9f_zphJsKf2q2Hw-fLI59CZwkT6DZstmd80Jii916nfNZ3WHaY0lSFngsa_w4YWAEogdP4DK_Wf0BhkYh3_QDttH1l7RYnFy/s1600/hasbro-candy-land-2267250-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgSFE6fIEcnueySkMdeMwNQngJRHT26BsSDwRQRPVkgimY9f_zphJsKf2q2Hw-fLI59CZwkT6DZstmd80Jii916nfNZ3WHaY0lSFngsa_w4YWAEogdP4DK_Wf0BhkYh3_QDttH1l7RYnFy/s320/hasbro-candy-land-2267250-01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Candy Land is so obnoxiously colorful and smiley and full of
sugar that I don’t think I would ever want to go there. </div>
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“Hey, Jeff, want to go to Peanut Brittle House?” </div>
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“No, I don’t because I don’t like peanut brittle.” </div>
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<br /></div>
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I also do not like the characters in the game: Mr. Mint,
Gramma Nutt, Plumpy, Gloppy the Molasses Monster, etc. I would never eat
anything anyone with one of those names gave me.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">4. ANTS IN THE PANTS<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6fkvUO9dhg24Bim3lzhwr6xeOe-NQ4EFLWgVOMEtagFmWCbo4osTUKJS6M3O4J0gcgNrmWYljHCTGSdMntZ6gLy4uXHLz0lbLh62QCQ9asex_Srm577XLaFEbzfykG_yU_uQ7gV3AgJFN/s1600/pTRU1-2907401dt.gif.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6fkvUO9dhg24Bim3lzhwr6xeOe-NQ4EFLWgVOMEtagFmWCbo4osTUKJS6M3O4J0gcgNrmWYljHCTGSdMntZ6gLy4uXHLz0lbLh62QCQ9asex_Srm577XLaFEbzfykG_yU_uQ7gV3AgJFN/s320/pTRU1-2907401dt.gif.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Have the people at Hasbro ever had “Ants in the Pants”? You
fall asleep at a picnic and then WHAM—ants in your pants. It’s no laughing
matter. Soon after you’ll be playing “Insect Bite Soothing Cream All Over Your
Body”.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Also, what is this disturbing creature whose pants I’m
trying to flip ants into? He has the head and paws of a dog but the body of a
man and no feet. He is also wearing suspenders and a red baseball cap. I do not
like him at all.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">3. SPIDER-MAN FISHING
GAME<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirMPgtCpFFUXdOcoYpLW_TEolIahBVsHnpHPSuug9n8dZ4Z2YeEiL9keUYtr64SiiQQ1uoXjDMGduc54e2k0NFBmnjCwgcSeLe_lLvWnPFpa4sJt1TONKux9FMr5Nk_ntgT3_JhGhvcCfM/s1600/pTRU1-14309763enh-z6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="295" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirMPgtCpFFUXdOcoYpLW_TEolIahBVsHnpHPSuug9n8dZ4Z2YeEiL9keUYtr64SiiQQ1uoXjDMGduc54e2k0NFBmnjCwgcSeLe_lLvWnPFpa4sJt1TONKux9FMr5Nk_ntgT3_JhGhvcCfM/s320/pTRU1-14309763enh-z6.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Spider-Man does lots of things. He catches bad guys. He takes
photos for the Daily Bugle. He has romance time with Mary Jane. You know what
he doesn’t do? He doesn’t fish.</div>
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The concept of this game just blows my mind. And that’s
pretty ironic since what Spider-Man is fishing for are pumpkin bombs.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2. DON’T WAKE DADDY<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEithbHPcdfgjvGTfzVPXfVHy54zu4Ccedsd6XPgEuqkP4exPbnhgrZ2exGkrLmKwDUmrC-R1rJV28I9bfMneRL_pI7OeSTC5XtL0Og3zzsptK-b6kbBa3Uw0d9UvK8WZQeXFYjk5auJX4LK/s1600/pTRU1-2911315dt.gif.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="224" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEithbHPcdfgjvGTfzVPXfVHy54zu4Ccedsd6XPgEuqkP4exPbnhgrZ2exGkrLmKwDUmrC-R1rJV28I9bfMneRL_pI7OeSTC5XtL0Og3zzsptK-b6kbBa3Uw0d9UvK8WZQeXFYjk5auJX4LK/s320/pTRU1-2911315dt.gif.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This game just puts you so on edge. When you push that
button and you know Daddy might spring up and send you running back to bed—man,
your stress level is through the roof. Games are supposed to be fun and
relaxing. (Or they are supposed to make you think—but this game doesn’t involve
any sort of skill either.)</div>
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Also, this game encourages something that is a big problem
today in America: Obesity. These children should not be up at midnight sneaking
around the house to get sugary treats from the fridge. This is very unhealthy
and they will have lots of medical problems later in life.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">1. DOGGIE DOO GAME<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM7OvH3bcUfpNCP45k4LHgj46rtSyGFAKH6HzWag3BKwsBzZOltOLJ_PPufmoG2AMeVmSCT5fkpRUEGg1RKrKsDXFuW844rrmQdbL7aNZyaxYfWO5X-n1v7bhrsLqx9XaukzCD0FhMqK7k/s1600/dogstoy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM7OvH3bcUfpNCP45k4LHgj46rtSyGFAKH6HzWag3BKwsBzZOltOLJ_PPufmoG2AMeVmSCT5fkpRUEGg1RKrKsDXFuW844rrmQdbL7aNZyaxYfWO5X-n1v7bhrsLqx9XaukzCD0FhMqK7k/s320/dogstoy.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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This one really speaks for itself.</div>
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Here's the product description, courtesy of Toys "R" Us:</div>
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"Doggie Doo, Europe's top new action game, has come to America. Feed and walk your little pup, if he makes a mess you clean it up! When you squeeze his leash he makes a gassy sound that gets louder and louder until...plop. The first to clean up after the dog three times wins."</div>
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Thanks, Europe!</div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-17732544884865649352012-06-07T19:50:00.000-04:002013-01-22T21:16:52.700-05:00Top 10 New (Ridiculous) Products<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My grandmother always has several different gossip magazines, newspaper clippings, cartoons, articles, etc., etc., in her purse that she can take out at a moment's notice to show you. Recently, she showed me the <i>Hammacher Schlemme</i>r catalog, which I had never seen before. This is actually very surprising since when I looked up the catalog on Wikipedia, I learned that it was founded in 1848-- the year of my birth.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What makes the catalog great is that it has even more ridiculous overpriced crap than those SkyMall catalogs on airplanes. Here are the Top 10 Products for sale in the Hammacher Schlemmer<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"> catalog, or simply the <b>Top 10 New Products</b>, since there really can't be any products better than these. And when I say "better", what I really mean is "worse".</span></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>10. The Zippered Vents Sleeping Bag</u><i> ($119.95)</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaEGhyphenhyphen10ivR0NhijJVkg93eEWG4gPFX8m-Sv8ATvOLjuVjyKXE8lrWSfoOA5fXb6JDq1MqiCfRoIcRNEYPrV5QqXMpXKhoRZ8OgMv-Hq020yergfYsjQmQLUOGCKp-KH3twG2pl0OJ1VgQ/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.16.22+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaEGhyphenhyphen10ivR0NhijJVkg93eEWG4gPFX8m-Sv8ATvOLjuVjyKXE8lrWSfoOA5fXb6JDq1MqiCfRoIcRNEYPrV5QqXMpXKhoRZ8OgMv-Hq020yergfYsjQmQLUOGCKp-KH3twG2pl0OJ1VgQ/s320/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.16.22+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">With this special sleeping bag you can cover specific parts of your body instead of your entire body. I just do not understand why you would want to cover, for example, only your feet and neck. A special bonus feature of the sleeping bag: It "can also be worn indoors to help one keep cozy while watching television or reading."</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>9. The Ultrasonic Barking Dog Deterrent</u><i> ($49.95)</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs-dKKrbB6BNz8GoNeIdg8hjO80n6TkvCxvF8YL3SOr1j6hYKurqtnq_R0XheyKmmZyZUjUVwgP-JeZ7HNfpas9I1OQptVrAiXLk8wFnS9EIFpRiAt2Q6W8E_JJGhdhADeCXfXktRCzIZ9/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.20.11+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs-dKKrbB6BNz8GoNeIdg8hjO80n6TkvCxvF8YL3SOr1j6hYKurqtnq_R0XheyKmmZyZUjUVwgP-JeZ7HNfpas9I1OQptVrAiXLk8wFnS9EIFpRiAt2Q6W8E_JJGhdhADeCXfXktRCzIZ9/s200/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.20.11+PM.png" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">It might look like a birdhouse, but don't be fooled! This device is really used to "restore peace and quiet for those vexed by a dog's barking." The Ultrasonic Barking Dog Deterrent (catchy name) gives off a ultrasonic noise that humans can't hear, whenever a dog barks within a selected radius. So, you can blame the fake birdhouse when your neighbor comes to beat you up for zapping his dog.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>8. The Only Complete Swiss Army Knife</u> <i>(on sale for $999.95)</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAnr66VXxq3tDEEV162NcEyGCauTRURAIAoG-S5mTXBl5kTqq7RdsuNMa0nRuJV5E865rD5NXJl0gWEjo2SSRrVdF0AtFOijcWbxfckJWHobwNMVq7yiiTmS5kip5zTlTYxzejLZhB7_vI/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.13.30+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAnr66VXxq3tDEEV162NcEyGCauTRURAIAoG-S5mTXBl5kTqq7RdsuNMa0nRuJV5E865rD5NXJl0gWEjo2SSRrVdF0AtFOijcWbxfckJWHobwNMVq7yiiTmS5kip5zTlTYxzejLZhB7_vI/s320/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.13.30+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This Swiss Army knife has a whopping 87 tools. It has everything from golf tools to blades to a combination fish scaler. It also looks like something right out of one of the <i>Saw</i> movies.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>7. The Upper Body Aerobic Exerciser</u><i> ($129.95)</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR4uNad-6ysWy3eQ-w0tf-nAfZjnZHiH9SbuQpGwUTn4uSL8ILrIysiZizFvaMprAe8Sk3MlBRK0MhVmTTWOwDKDITQTjbMJSnqdoV6MY0EoWR4Rgk99RtOlAC9MgN64sA-r43u544Ezog/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.48.16+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR4uNad-6ysWy3eQ-w0tf-nAfZjnZHiH9SbuQpGwUTn4uSL8ILrIysiZizFvaMprAe8Sk3MlBRK0MhVmTTWOwDKDITQTjbMJSnqdoV6MY0EoWR4Rgk99RtOlAC9MgN64sA-r43u544Ezog/s200/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.48.16+PM.png" width="198" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This was in the special Gifts for Father's Day section of the catalog. It might look like two tambourines, but this device (somehow), "promotes strength, increased endurance, and an increased calorie rate burn." Increased calorie rate burn-- what dad doesn't want that?!</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>6. Canine Garden Topiaries</u><i> ($349.95)</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyYDbhyphenhyphenF01vWIuAPCXvTqX3bX69luFdGXBK05NKE5IIL99QWrGnY4MkRpkp7ciUTovRUqp6QxD-wCzowyZeumPeVh9pnDZbIYObBxlcn49fyIRTnjaQWQ8wqSXaxDGitCg04lozoO86X-v/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.28.36+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="291" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyYDbhyphenhyphenF01vWIuAPCXvTqX3bX69luFdGXBK05NKE5IIL99QWrGnY4MkRpkp7ciUTovRUqp6QxD-wCzowyZeumPeVh9pnDZbIYObBxlcn49fyIRTnjaQWQ8wqSXaxDGitCg04lozoO86X-v/s320/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.28.36+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I have been looking for years to buy two large bushes shaped like dogs. Just kidding! If you have one of these dog shrubs on your lawn and I see it, I will burn it to the ground.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>5. The Password Vault</u><i> ($49.95)</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqjzEZkF_F-IpiYm2Oh2YC8-QOmDY8zr0mOV0SGdTFBGycEWm8DphOTNDR3QOXZwv0YsPsP1Wjpx_IVwumo9lojbnf3VJy_aI-cQLqrWcvTUogu3HHHPAXGq94exO3yIuMs0KS8O_VrJLC/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.00.31+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="260" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqjzEZkF_F-IpiYm2Oh2YC8-QOmDY8zr0mOV0SGdTFBGycEWm8DphOTNDR3QOXZwv0YsPsP1Wjpx_IVwumo9lojbnf3VJy_aI-cQLqrWcvTUogu3HHHPAXGq94exO3yIuMs0KS8O_VrJLC/s320/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.00.31+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You are probably wondering why you'd need to use the vault instead of just saving all your passwords on your computer. Well, as the product description explains: "Your passwords are stored offline in the vault's memory, ensuring sensitive information can never be compromised." And don't worry, if your device is stolen, thieves can't get into it without the password-- oh, the irony!</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>4. The Only Audio Restoring Cassette To CD Converter </u><i>($499.95)</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUZiX4p9D_-6KIbLIXyc9v_t2NUOs5MIVhLQ3BSexDOnPy6c3DSx2Qz1b2IWbHAOO1DmQGMFrTUJdyMeuKVSi0K8AyaXF2v5cL3j2jXBdZVrQwTSrnf_NkAGS16zdfiI8BcrtOgs0j2Lqv/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.04.21+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUZiX4p9D_-6KIbLIXyc9v_t2NUOs5MIVhLQ3BSexDOnPy6c3DSx2Qz1b2IWbHAOO1DmQGMFrTUJdyMeuKVSi0K8AyaXF2v5cL3j2jXBdZVrQwTSrnf_NkAGS16zdfiI8BcrtOgs0j2Lqv/s320/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.04.21+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Do you know why this is the only machine on the market that converts audio from cassettes to CDs? It's because if you really liked a bunch of the songs on a cassette, over the past 25 years or so you probably bought a CD that has the songs. This invention is also great because CDs are now dying out. After you convert the cassette to a CD, you'd have to convert the CD to an MP3 file. Or, you could buy the songs you like on iTunes for 99 cents.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>3. The Canine Shower Stall</u><i> ($1,250)</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8c5v0dh7ylIzzkMe32iourj-20VwEFk5Hyg3AbwRa5uYhMEpR0XEXJQrnwSPqEOu01VAW8LcNbtXU3YZ5PClL4Z2V59DWdqrhA6K7L4NU56Gf-dnCfC50tRxugRBh1RhCRnk3JHv8mW7P/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.24.44+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="304" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8c5v0dh7ylIzzkMe32iourj-20VwEFk5Hyg3AbwRa5uYhMEpR0XEXJQrnwSPqEOu01VAW8LcNbtXU3YZ5PClL4Z2V59DWdqrhA6K7L4NU56Gf-dnCfC50tRxugRBh1RhCRnk3JHv8mW7P/s320/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+6.24.44+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">People in other countries have to wait in line for hours for a small bucket of water.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>2. The 85 Foot Inflatable Military Obstacle Course </u><i>($12,500)</i></span></b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBxNfR3ODcNq_W1KY-96OkEev8wQWIMrkbelWf96xulTm91qvDNkKwWITOnJ0rdiRfu1LDCs01Txq5S8rIF8iEW4MWfGj6IFTFBoTHbNEI1uY2jkqX5fMcNgf4UssnhYQUqlEjJDyVzcOS/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+7.30.29+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="157" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBxNfR3ODcNq_W1KY-96OkEev8wQWIMrkbelWf96xulTm91qvDNkKwWITOnJ0rdiRfu1LDCs01Txq5S8rIF8iEW4MWfGj6IFTFBoTHbNEI1uY2jkqX5fMcNgf4UssnhYQUqlEjJDyVzcOS/s320/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+7.30.29+PM.png" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If you've got 12.5K burning a hole in your pocket and want to waste it on something that will take up lots of space and provide you with roughly 2 hours of fun, allow me to present the 85 Foot Inflatable Military Obstacle Course! This course is great for small children with rich, yet dumb, parents, or grown people training to actually be in the military. (Note: If you are using this to train for the army, you will not survive boot camp.)</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><u>1. The Child Piloted Tumbler</u><i> ($79.95)</i></span></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5r-GORIVMLBOZ90YNpc3bg-CdyjMLC0clMhq0OgaK6sGjhN_IWjgEdlcFVqPxlypb8NUDP6fETxY0bJBjmfb57Aqy1ZlPJojNdDL6IgFu944k5LB7PNcYl3Go176kAGx3XlrPAw0s4R-D/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+7.31.14+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5r-GORIVMLBOZ90YNpc3bg-CdyjMLC0clMhq0OgaK6sGjhN_IWjgEdlcFVqPxlypb8NUDP6fETxY0bJBjmfb57Aqy1ZlPJojNdDL6IgFu944k5LB7PNcYl3Go176kAGx3XlrPAw0s4R-D/s320/Screen+shot+2012-06-07+at+7.31.14+PM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Don't worry, the child pilots the "rolling tumbler" from the inside, so it's 100% safe. If your child was an "accident", and you really only wanted a pet hamster, then this is the product for you!</span></div>
Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-34861856001953849562012-05-09T16:33:00.004-04:002013-01-22T20:55:25.543-05:00Top 10 Coolest Talking Movie Dogs<br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">There are four requirements
you have to meet in order to be on this list. You must be:<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">A dog<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">In a movie<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></span><span style="font-family: Arial;">Able to talk
(remember, you must also be a dog)<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Symbol;">·<span style="font: normal normal normal 7pt/normal 'Times New Roman';">
</span></span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"><b>Cool</b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I didn’t say making the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Top 10 Coolest Talking Movie Dogs</i> list was
going to be easy! Without further
ado, here are the ten most awesome linguistically-gifted canines from the big
screen. (Please note: If your favorite movie talking dog didn’t make the cut, I don’t care.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">10. SCOOBY-DOO</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">the Great Dane</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Scooby-Doo, 2002 version</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I know what you’re thinking:
“Jeffrey, you said a dog has to be cool to be on this list, not incredibly
obnoxious.” Well, I did say
that. I can’t deny it since I can
just re-read what I wrote a few lines ago. HOWEVER, I could only think of nine cool talking dogs from
movies and it’s awkward to have a Top 9 list. So I just put Scooby-Doo in the ten spot, even though he is
annoying and I hate him.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZVz4zlSTqpXKVkF-ye7bbsNlV6trwZmbJMt0nWC9834e2b_KNyaDwtuK_iD7Mm3UmtwJ2q8ocT2Aw70iUIm0VfiUX7H8DVIPoLheqIX9pZt9HJHFyGZsDnTaCUSuCvNt1R4cB7Zs60UnK/s1600/Screen+shot+2012-05-08+at+12.40.39+AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZVz4zlSTqpXKVkF-ye7bbsNlV6trwZmbJMt0nWC9834e2b_KNyaDwtuK_iD7Mm3UmtwJ2q8ocT2Aw70iUIm0VfiUX7H8DVIPoLheqIX9pZt9HJHFyGZsDnTaCUSuCvNt1R4cB7Zs60UnK/s320/Screen+shot+2012-05-08+at+12.40.39+AM.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Why did I upload an image that doesn't have Scooby Doo in it?</i></div>
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<i>Wait a minute... that's not a lady in a hat!</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">9. TRAMP</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">the Stray Mutt</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lady and the Tramp</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I don’t really remember much
about Tramp since I haven’t watched <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Lady
and the Tramp</i> in roughly one million years, but, for some reason, I just
assume that Tramp is smooth and cool.
I guess he’d have to be to score a high-class dog like Lady.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja61c0wF6hNCuJaixG7uEgON9iokAMzzh5fhuPtN3UJxUg6wniKVSN0W1weLw3YMqauJvRkRQia34LdnpMvADZAlIbz4rSJXVN4vPyF9_hK3XKoK8pF90G9FvkoFVCxvAtFzm9vXt6hpod/s1600/lady-and-the-tramp.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja61c0wF6hNCuJaixG7uEgON9iokAMzzh5fhuPtN3UJxUg6wniKVSN0W1weLw3YMqauJvRkRQia34LdnpMvADZAlIbz4rSJXVN4vPyF9_hK3XKoK8pF90G9FvkoFVCxvAtFzm9vXt6hpod/s320/lady-and-the-tramp.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>He knows what he's doing.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">8. LUCKY</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">the Dalmatian</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">101 Dalmatians, 1961 version</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I felt like this movie needed
to be represented since it has the largest cast of talking dogs. (Not really a cast I guess; a
collection of dog drawings?) Lucky
got his name because he died while being born, but then Roger Radcliffe was
able to revive him. Also, he has a
red collar and he is one of the only dogs from the movie whose name I know.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizFnXK9DbWJnxnOduaZeknVq_R3mDpxsvRq3V2eJrKJ1Zrg84Cz-X9bOQc2zA8WDtzHG2YgtXbanDbZ8HksruxqYpNREOJNvgMMzfCdtoImIKkLjPyMHP4LFY3u8wZ7homybcO8IzTgVUd/s1600/101dalmatians_656.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizFnXK9DbWJnxnOduaZeknVq_R3mDpxsvRq3V2eJrKJ1Zrg84Cz-X9bOQc2zA8WDtzHG2YgtXbanDbZ8HksruxqYpNREOJNvgMMzfCdtoImIKkLjPyMHP4LFY3u8wZ7homybcO8IzTgVUd/s320/101dalmatians_656.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Lucky looks like he's going to be in a Tim Burton movie.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">7. SLINKY
DOG</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">the Toy Dachshund Slinky
Dog</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Toy Story (1-3)</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Slinky Dog is cool because
he is both a slinky and a dog. How
many of you can say that? (Answer:
ZERO! Because slinkys are a toy
and dogs cannot read!) Slinky Dog
actually saves the day at the end of the first movie when he stretches out
really far between the moving-truck and the racecar with Buzz and Woody on
it. Without him, there never
would’ve been two sequels.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMLcoJFeeEle5KXyL9MQHGRQlI1LW9m8aL9H4bl4xNCwhDovwfKP4wqxsb9qMf6SqYmHAfu6JC5ZEeqo9hB6DS4fAnLgrhNrZXP8N0drG7vOVxuznJFx0NTv2BqDm0Mb0o4PLe9uXviKrC/s1600/Toy-story-3-slinky-dog-perro-edicion-2010-1282176945.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhMLcoJFeeEle5KXyL9MQHGRQlI1LW9m8aL9H4bl4xNCwhDovwfKP4wqxsb9qMf6SqYmHAfu6JC5ZEeqo9hB6DS4fAnLgrhNrZXP8N0drG7vOVxuznJFx0NTv2BqDm0Mb0o4PLe9uXviKrC/s320/Toy-story-3-slinky-dog-perro-edicion-2010-1282176945.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>You can tell he's friendly because he is not at all scary.</i></div>
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<i>Also, he is goofy-looking.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">6.
SAMANTHA</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">the Mutt</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Dog Detectives</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Dog Detectives</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial;"> is a TV pilot, not a movie, but isn’t television really just a movie
only smaller? (Do not answer that
question.) Samantha is hilarious, opinionated
(she hates Seattle), and snarky.
Her Level 10 Dorkiness Rating (that’s actually the highest Dorkiness
Rating you can get) doesn’t stop her from being the coolest dog in NYC.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/RSVyGvXEkpM?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">5. FLY</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">the Border Collie</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Babe</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">What sort of a dumb name for
a dog is Fly? If I was a dog and
my owner named me Fly, I would bite him and poop on the floor. Anyways, in <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Babe</i>, Fly is a sheepdog who helps raise Babe, the little
piglet. She is kind and gentle and
fair and without her Babe probably would’ve been eaten or beaten up by the
other mean animals.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCaLZ9BHE1lYiTvC68gczZuIERAV33q1UI6wzt9C74MQ18tllG4culwo5Bw1HmHShcaQg1P-ywyd_eZ-gKyxTzmvyO4NH8hveNrC-3FXKrXA_X7lBuqP8RG3AqPeY4PurWeXbzAhTVoM4p/s1600/fly-babe-29190655-400-296.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="236" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCaLZ9BHE1lYiTvC68gczZuIERAV33q1UI6wzt9C74MQ18tllG4culwo5Bw1HmHShcaQg1P-ywyd_eZ-gKyxTzmvyO4NH8hveNrC-3FXKrXA_X7lBuqP8RG3AqPeY4PurWeXbzAhTVoM4p/s320/fly-babe-29190655-400-296.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Border Collies are smarter than you.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">4. FLUKE</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> the </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">Golden Retriever</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Fluke</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Fluke</span></i><span style="font-family: Arial;"> is
the story of a dog that realizes (SPOILER ALERT) he is actually the reincarnation
of a human man who was a jerk and workaholic. We see Fluke’s journey through life, as he becomes friends
with Samuel L. Jackson (as another dog) and his old family. I do not want to spoil more of the
movie than I already have, but let’s just say that Fluke learns some valuable
lessons in his second life.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj262gc0mwoOJEV3DrzXI2tztu-iZLiTCb9Cln7HzPiJ6oc5OOCvYzUvchaMmYaPceqtytXOjF5DoyHcohyphenhyphenYUhZXhh5kR9Inn-aE2lNE2GFLgjODO1Om-OYfNFurAigZgwikGU7jDUzsfkI/s1600/472478.1020.A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj262gc0mwoOJEV3DrzXI2tztu-iZLiTCb9Cln7HzPiJ6oc5OOCvYzUvchaMmYaPceqtytXOjF5DoyHcohyphenhyphenYUhZXhh5kR9Inn-aE2lNE2GFLgjODO1Om-OYfNFurAigZgwikGU7jDUzsfkI/s320/472478.1020.A.jpg" width="220" /></a></div>
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<i>Fluke has shoes because he is a reincarnated human.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">3. COPPER</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">the Hound Dog</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Fox and the Hound</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Copper, the hound dog, and
Tod, the fox, are friends when they are little, but then, when they grow up,
they are told that they must be enemies.
But in the end, after they were enemies for a while, they are friends
again and they save one another. I
am fairly certain there is a message you’re supposed to get from this movie,
but it is too complex for me to understand.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/JN9RkBUUA40?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">2. SHADOW</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">the Golden Retriever</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Shadow is the leader of the
trio of lost animals trying to make their way home in <i>Homeward Bound</i>. He is wise and smart.
Many people are fans of Chance, the American Bulldog who accompanies
Shadow and Sassy (the annoying cat).
However, Chance is a moron – let’s not forget that he tried to make
friends with a porcupine and got quills in his muzzle!<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizheasry_eb5SyRAvuTFFAK5awyxwctxCiz0Tg_l-kqUlYaxWfWr71IakYj_80eI_15y4uwLqsKhfK7Cn2FaXN6jee6rNKQRrgNP_e7l60mois1blb_FMPUD6Ezranm66n0gbrtKMS_6UH/s1600/tumblr_loj12isBhP1qaoo4lo1_500.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizheasry_eb5SyRAvuTFFAK5awyxwctxCiz0Tg_l-kqUlYaxWfWr71IakYj_80eI_15y4uwLqsKhfK7Cn2FaXN6jee6rNKQRrgNP_e7l60mois1blb_FMPUD6Ezranm66n0gbrtKMS_6UH/s320/tumblr_loj12isBhP1qaoo4lo1_500.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>They look like they're going to jump someone.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 16pt;">1. DUG</span></b><span style="font-family: Arial;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 14pt;">the Golden Retriever</span><span style="font-family: Arial;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">Film: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Up</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Arial;">Dug can speak through a special voice box created by an evil,
explorer. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Dug, however, couldn’t
be nicer!</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">He is also hilarious
because of his lack of intelligence.</span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Actually, is it just me, or does everyone in </span><i>Up</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> seem to be mentally challenged?</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There’s the boy – Russell, the bird – Kevin, and, of course,
Dug.</span> <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You can’t blame that old man
for being so short-tempered!</span></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh363AZk-cmhAHwqfiyi2dachWHfKgKlhIWLvWEq8O5xqafUHtFobIRZ1KaH8pn9V5wfRxhaA5HuZjVxfQNF4T-LeRaAuHzrU3DOMMnWoYClewIytUQZck236Eb7FLj9sf_d9cvsCTaP3Vz/s1600/Dug-up.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh363AZk-cmhAHwqfiyi2dachWHfKgKlhIWLvWEq8O5xqafUHtFobIRZ1KaH8pn9V5wfRxhaA5HuZjVxfQNF4T-LeRaAuHzrU3DOMMnWoYClewIytUQZck236Eb7FLj9sf_d9cvsCTaP3Vz/s320/Dug-up.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Dug is special.</i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;">As the great Porky Pig once said, "Th-th-th-that's all folks!" Peace!</span><br />
<br />Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-33039963969200580992012-04-13T02:09:00.000-04:002013-02-28T14:20:24.542-05:00Jeffrey's Top 10 Inventions (That Need to be Made)<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There seem to be new inventions popping up every single
day.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That is because on most days
at least one person in the world has invented something.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I know this is probably true because on
most days I invent at least one amazing new invention.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">However, since I am not handy, I cannot
actually build these inventions (so they are really only great ideas).</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
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<i>Thomas Edison was such a good inventor that they named a town in New Jersey after him.</i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here is a list of some of the greatest inventions in
history:</span></div>
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<ul>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Fire (mankind’s first great invention)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">TV</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Remote Control</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Dog (humans invented dogs by breeding nice wolves—I saw a
special about it on </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Animal Planet</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Spaceships</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Spark Plugs</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tires</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jeggings</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pillows</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Candles</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Paper (I know that this was invented in China)</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Funny Hats</span></li>
<li><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Time</span></li>
</ul>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just kidding with that last one! We didn’t invent time—it existed even before people
did! Someone did invent the clock
though.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many inventions are good, but some end up being bad. With new technology comes more complex
inventions and a possible robot revolt.
If you have ever watched <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Battlestar
Galactica</i>, you know that Cylons look and act like real people, but they
really want to kill us.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here’s a list of my Top 10 Inventions. Since I have not actually created these
products and do not own any patents for them, you can steal these ideas. Actually, most of these things probably
already exist and I just don’t know it.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">10. Extra Arms<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I got this idea from Spider-Man’s nemesis, Dr. Octopus. Dr. Octopus has several metallic arms
fused to his midsection. It isn’t
logical for people who aren’t crazy to fuse metal arms onto themselves, so my
invention is a special belt that has two extra arms attached to it. You are able to control the arms with a
remote control. Since you will
have to operate the control with one of your real hands you are actually only
getting one extra hand. But, as
they (will) say, three hands are better than two.</span></div>
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<i>The arms are a nice shade of lime green.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">9. Brain Computer
Chip<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Technology seems to be getting smaller and smaller and
better and better. First you
need a big clunky desktop computer.
Then all you need is a laptop.
All of a sudden you can go on the Internet and be connected to the whole
world with just your phone. Well,
I have invented the brain computer chip, which is the next step in this
evolution of world connectedness through the Internet. The brain chip is small and you drill it into your brain
through your ear. With the chip in
your brain you can access the entire Internet in your mind—you don’t need any
sort of device at all! If you want
to disconnect all you need to do is blink your eyes quickly ten times.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgryyqkg9i6w2vkbwARzu0XEx8Xt8_l0U7xeLywPeSNwTF84WqbLZ_rC6NGeMzDpng2U0ZppQm-n45H8ho_UHGcsGdTJNzCAo8kOE_ifnLdvkzcpPblVnsKLwk210sJViEY-XmCFY6PtlYn/s1600/chip.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgryyqkg9i6w2vkbwARzu0XEx8Xt8_l0U7xeLywPeSNwTF84WqbLZ_rC6NGeMzDpng2U0ZppQm-n45H8ho_UHGcsGdTJNzCAo8kOE_ifnLdvkzcpPblVnsKLwk210sJViEY-XmCFY6PtlYn/s1600/chip.png" /></a></div>
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<i>This will be drilled into your brain.</i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">8. Weather Control
Machine<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many people have thought up some version of this machine,
but I have really worked it all. You
are probably thinking, ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How can everyone
buy a weather machine? What if
people had conflicting weather that they wanted?</i> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">For example, Person X
wants to play in the rain with his pet ducklings, but Person B wants a nice
sunny day to play baseball.’</i>
Thank you for that example, theoretical person. To solve this problem, my weather
machines only control a certain portion of the atmosphere directly around the
user. Better machines control a
larger area and cost more money.
See, problem solved.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZGySAus1lUKpCJhBErdDJKr7sTXhESuEHpxfVwQHdzsUS8hAXPZYiqqF-nPHJik3qsn9ciwwljFfuJzaDCu962nviylB7ekfzRBg-XYgxVvdMLjkHdleTQfdEsJce43i4W7PUAG1cvEBl/s1600/Charlie_Brown_Rainout.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZGySAus1lUKpCJhBErdDJKr7sTXhESuEHpxfVwQHdzsUS8hAXPZYiqqF-nPHJik3qsn9ciwwljFfuJzaDCu962nviylB7ekfzRBg-XYgxVvdMLjkHdleTQfdEsJce43i4W7PUAG1cvEBl/s320/Charlie_Brown_Rainout.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Charlie Brown could've used the Weather Control Machine.</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Too bad he's fictional.</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>And a moron.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">7. Cigarette
Stickers<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Soon the FDA will be requiring cigarette
companies to put disgusting-looking warning labels on their packs. No one wants to carry his or her
cigarettes in a pack featuring a premature baby or a man having a stroke. </span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheqQqTZEQ91_FuH7ly5pRRsSkS-mN_rit_q850xmqkZiHK6elUtpaKLMEk2znVJcUjORVFcEKDYIZbW370FGe6L_63LVoBepIlRnstbCDy-abM3_rzz55-H1b8MjdrFxzZjveJf76HZbA4/s1600/mediaManager-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEheqQqTZEQ91_FuH7ly5pRRsSkS-mN_rit_q850xmqkZiHK6elUtpaKLMEk2znVJcUjORVFcEKDYIZbW370FGe6L_63LVoBepIlRnstbCDy-abM3_rzz55-H1b8MjdrFxzZjveJf76HZbA4/s1600/mediaManager-3.jpeg" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>I can't wait to get to see these pictures everywhere.</i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since the FDA's pictures are awful, I’ve invented cigarette
stickers. These stickers are the
perfect size to fit directly over the unappealing image the FDA’s putting on
the packs.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2NosGo4khqaK_wqy9YzbiG-CzoDbUNg3vco2gBsFeU2tVpn384-_wLiqbOmeG93Owjj7hy_XoZt5SKEjfphsaxsxE9wyz77A6xbtzu5snU8vkPVCtARLOPsb0Yns5LDvcELoUgZsfOYTj/s1600/puppycigs.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2NosGo4khqaK_wqy9YzbiG-CzoDbUNg3vco2gBsFeU2tVpn384-_wLiqbOmeG93Owjj7hy_XoZt5SKEjfphsaxsxE9wyz77A6xbtzu5snU8vkPVCtARLOPsb0Yns5LDvcELoUgZsfOYTj/s1600/puppycigs.png" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>That's much better.</i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">6. Hovercar<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is probably some rich guy on an island that he owns
flying around on a hovercar. He
probably has no problems and has ten hot model wives and eight monkeys who
entertain him with magic. Unfortunately,
us normal people don’t have a hovercar. So, my invention is an affordable hovercar that the everyman can buy. In movies from the 1980s, when they
show the future (which would be now), these types of flying cars are everywhere. I want to make the present how people
thought the present would be in the 80s.
That is my goal.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAmnK_bTqdo4eIaVIvmAC06ifVtOlTCq0FzXBWd1wenY_Vr5gSxRS4qOBeIIAdCJE-OfKnDs-YO6ZFPxqMdu5ku5t7UUkvtWmiDQrt7jlS8SHMJW9Y3sNgKkqdiO4wM1QAvRION8nB_IXZ/s1600/36676-sky_blue.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAmnK_bTqdo4eIaVIvmAC06ifVtOlTCq0FzXBWd1wenY_Vr5gSxRS4qOBeIIAdCJE-OfKnDs-YO6ZFPxqMdu5ku5t7UUkvtWmiDQrt7jlS8SHMJW9Y3sNgKkqdiO4wM1QAvRION8nB_IXZ/s320/36676-sky_blue.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Whoa! Look at those hover-boosters helping that hovercar soar through the air.</i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">5. Glow in the
Dark Boots<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Things that glow in the dark have always been cool and
useful. My glow in the dark boots,
or Glow Glow Boots as they’re called,
will make sure that you shine even when darkness has consumed everything around
you. (Well that sounds
morbid.) Remember that movie<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">, Pitch Black</i>, with Vin Diesel? (Of course you do.) The giant bug creatures in the movie
come out in the dark and kill people.
Vin Diesel and the other survivors of the spaceship crash never would’ve
had any problems if they had my Glow Glow
Boots.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6qFBOuE7i0eRlfTS8aXuqolW84fAgqTpl5uj4xL_3cnvpYpFRR5NovpL4LU36v4aD-N82OpBIR4DEiFaM4Ub4Nq_2JosKRb7WiOiPmDwMaLqO9dSAuIWzRUvWhziDvMfMugcphtRygawG/s1600/boot.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6qFBOuE7i0eRlfTS8aXuqolW84fAgqTpl5uj4xL_3cnvpYpFRR5NovpL4LU36v4aD-N82OpBIR4DEiFaM4Ub4Nq_2JosKRb7WiOiPmDwMaLqO9dSAuIWzRUvWhziDvMfMugcphtRygawG/s320/boot.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Drawing of Glow Glow Boots prototype</i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">4. Invisibility
Hat<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I got this idea after reading the part in the Harry Potter
series when Harry and Ron sneak around Hogwarts late at night under Harry’s
invisibility cloak. The
invisibility hat is like Harry’s invisibility cloak except there is one major
difference. It is a hat, not a
cloak. I chose to create a hat instead
since I think people are just more likely to buy a hat. Only gothic people wear cloaks, but
most people will wear a hat from time to time. The hats themselves are also invisible, but I promise that
they are real. Otherwise we would
have a ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ situation. </span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLRVcUtcrGqmeD4HrPplOSNm4VIbGctwhiteBlEkSSqv86eNmC9qbmSjz1T7-687fRSZeIwM_j45PcQ1LY7EQQV0Yi1N35Y9bYVFnN52g2xNYv4zfVxcTZ5FjNMKWntJqCbjkU5LogA7i/s1600/blank.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="189" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLRVcUtcrGqmeD4HrPplOSNm4VIbGctwhiteBlEkSSqv86eNmC9qbmSjz1T7-687fRSZeIwM_j45PcQ1LY7EQQV0Yi1N35Y9bYVFnN52g2xNYv4zfVxcTZ5FjNMKWntJqCbjkU5LogA7i/s320/blank.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>That's one fine lookin' hat.</i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">3. Lost Item
Finder<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Lost Item Finder, or LIF for short, is a robot that can
seek out anything that you lose.
Today, my girlfriend forgot her suitcase in the trunk of a taxi since
she is careless. She will now have
to make tons of phone calls to try to get it back, but in the end, she will probably
fail. This is very sad because she
had clothes in the suitcase and also a present for me from Washington, DC. If she had LIF, all she’d need to do
would be to press a button to turn the robot on and then say, “LIF, please find
my suitcase.” Then LIF would go,
“Beep, beep!” and race off to find the bag.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvXfDZ_Cef7Ae66u8Tnnm6pVLtsocFyVtR5wj4dscMKINoxd4xxbetcib-XujBdlCu1seRDlSdcCtKSJmVEBVtIGt6AEpmzsJ8dTBSbim2LMQtl25IaIGW4yZ9WhfzSNb-j0MUElr6_VdK/s1600/Fullview_CylonPortrait.PNG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvXfDZ_Cef7Ae66u8Tnnm6pVLtsocFyVtR5wj4dscMKINoxd4xxbetcib-XujBdlCu1seRDlSdcCtKSJmVEBVtIGt6AEpmzsJ8dTBSbim2LMQtl25IaIGW4yZ9WhfzSNb-j0MUElr6_VdK/s1600/Fullview_CylonPortrait.PNG" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>LIF is happy and says, "Beep, beep!" He won't turn on you!</i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">2. Transforming
Shirt<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Imagine if you only had one shirt and it could transform into all different types of shirts. You start out with a basic white short-sleeved shirt, but
then you push a button and it transforms into a long-sleeved shirt. Press another button—BOOM! —It’s a tank
top. BOOM! Now it’s a sweatshirt! BOOM! A heavy coat! BOOM! A raincoat! Who knew that one article of clothing could satisfy so many
of your clothing needs? I did. The Transforming Shirt will be sold at
high-end clothing stores for $425.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4GKtMMrCeARQiCPzFU6S2feIMcdifyYaYFQTDRfrGg5yxAQh9BkXUZ2RRaXc2bXLg051w2n0vQa66xqm2ABqXy5g0hfu33MroXJ9q-DYgyRrdOPfdoXaTi4EyqiShyGaX30h7RJ7e7Qdi/s1600/shirts.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4GKtMMrCeARQiCPzFU6S2feIMcdifyYaYFQTDRfrGg5yxAQh9BkXUZ2RRaXc2bXLg051w2n0vQa66xqm2ABqXy5g0hfu33MroXJ9q-DYgyRrdOPfdoXaTi4EyqiShyGaX30h7RJ7e7Qdi/s320/shirts.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Look at these fantastic options! I won't know what to transform into next!</i></div>
</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">1. Waterproof
Laptop<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There have been so many times when I wished I had a
waterproof laptop. With a
waterproof laptop, you could go on your computer in the bath or hot tub and it
would not be destroyed. Who
doesn’t want to go in a Jacuzzi and look at people’s Facebook pages and type a
e-mail at the same time? If I had
a Jacuzzi that is what I’d definitely want to do. You can also take the laptop in the pool with you on a humid
summer day. There will be a
flotation device that comes out of the bottom of the computer so the invention can stay afloat.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkpRZZ2ELej5HBP6x4bK5mLxsqn6NMRXrJL2rzAA3MvFMKuItLIFu6ysHi2a9NDVgZncWJHC9HwymWy1WR4OGpNdYg7Blk848qzEdPb-yyNNTtz8A4j-IuRa_c92jUdIo26ut5KLxxRXWH/s1600/laptop.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkpRZZ2ELej5HBP6x4bK5mLxsqn6NMRXrJL2rzAA3MvFMKuItLIFu6ysHi2a9NDVgZncWJHC9HwymWy1WR4OGpNdYg7Blk848qzEdPb-yyNNTtz8A4j-IuRa_c92jUdIo26ut5KLxxRXWH/s320/laptop.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>She is very careful not to get her hair wet.</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So there you have it, my Top 10 inventions. I wish Thomas Edison would come back from the dead and help me build all of them. He would have to come back as his normal self and not as a zombie. I guess we'll see what happens.</span></div>
Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-85275433553624548422012-04-12T01:09:00.000-04:002013-01-22T20:59:52.168-05:00Game Show Extravaganza!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you want to win money? How about $10,000? How about $1,000,000? Well, all you have to do is buy my new book, "Jeffrey the Great Tells You How to Win A Million Dollars". It can be downloaded to your Kindle or Nook for just $750 (I had to lower the price down from $1,000 because sales were bad).</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixbqJrBktXkKksAYx08yyFBzqo-kcBdUbxJTjWneK8cg_UewO2av9nuD5ABb3LCrYlpxJNHVa4mMC7VBB3NED3lpS58iGzhNojRnT89Pv5XHgv6z2jJL63Mc9yGYKOsedqt0xJXw_il6V9/s1600/bookkdafs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixbqJrBktXkKksAYx08yyFBzqo-kcBdUbxJTjWneK8cg_UewO2av9nuD5ABb3LCrYlpxJNHVa4mMC7VBB3NED3lpS58iGzhNojRnT89Pv5XHgv6z2jJL63Mc9yGYKOsedqt0xJXw_il6V9/s400/bookkdafs.jpg" width="291" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">It's basically a rip-off of The Hunger Games. Only it's better.</span></i></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Just kidding! We all know that I don't know how to write books (or even how to read)! However, I do know how you can make lots of money and win exciting prizes too!</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It is by going on a game show! (Exclamation point overload in this paragraph.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A long time ago (probably before you were born), game shows were very popular.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">People used to sit around the TV with their families and watch </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The $10,000 Pyramid</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> or </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Card Sharks</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Then, they would play board games and talk or play marbles or something.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(I am not sure what they would really do; this was before Facebook was invented.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Today, we have reality TV where you have to sing or live on an island or dance or race around the world to win money.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are still game shows that pop up on prime time TV every now and then (like </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Minute to Win it,</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> hosted by that awful elf-man Guy Fieri or </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Million Dollar Money Drop</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">), but they definitely aren't as popular as game shows were in decades past.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I decided to review/analyze some of the game shows that have been around for a while and are still on the magic box with little people trapped inside.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">These shows are still churning out new episodes and, if you wanted, you could even apply to be on one of them! Then you could tell me when your episode was going to be on and I could watch it and then tell everyone that someone I know was on the show!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's get down to business! Time to review those game shows.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><u>THE PRICE IS RIGHT</u></span></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CBS 11am-12pm</span></i></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>When I was little, I used to love to watch this show. But then our family dog, Maxx, decided that he didn't like all of the game show sounds and would bark whenever the show came on and basically ruined it for me. (Now Maxx is 12 and has trouble hearing.)</i></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc2PuMNe9n0WfL0u6M66resfSDCZI2JAyorO1VBelOG1kTXGUDSntLhuDc78d38WefuAh39vfs432U5SogsnUgBni0WBPcPTZqWgCNANe6-xKZZVDFk6U-ERd6a534CgK-rCzzDFccO8oK/s1600/maxx.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhc2PuMNe9n0WfL0u6M66resfSDCZI2JAyorO1VBelOG1kTXGUDSntLhuDc78d38WefuAh39vfs432U5SogsnUgBni0WBPcPTZqWgCNANe6-xKZZVDFk6U-ERd6a534CgK-rCzzDFccO8oK/s200/maxx.jpeg" width="180" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Pit bull's should be illegal!</span></i></td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWtz-bBwlJzVTYotVoR2P0eeVVuPP2lSkHwSZ5gAuoKh65aPMJWrp-DRhv5mECLm_EcIIfrAUd42C16-3CAFcTyzZdsAfFMVBBWvRlyORQ6yqw3g9Y0P1Gm_2rTLgT9MZ1b83JVjbE5Ev4/s1600/2431643502_b1b2dc6f6c.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWtz-bBwlJzVTYotVoR2P0eeVVuPP2lSkHwSZ5gAuoKh65aPMJWrp-DRhv5mECLm_EcIIfrAUd42C16-3CAFcTyzZdsAfFMVBBWvRlyORQ6yqw3g9Y0P1Gm_2rTLgT9MZ1b83JVjbE5Ev4/s200/2431643502_b1b2dc6f6c.jpeg" width="200" /></span></a></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THE CONCEPT</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">: Four contestants are presented with a prize and whoever comes closest to guessing its price gets to play a pricing game.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After three contestants play games, they take turns spinning a giant wheel with different dollar amounts on it and whoever is closest to a dollar gets to go on to the Showcase Showdown at the end of the show.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There, two contestants guess the value of a collection of prizes.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Closest without going over wins their showcase.</span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> GRADE: B+</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CONTESTANTS: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mostly college students and old people.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They often wear funny shirts. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: B</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ENTERTAINMENT VALUE</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">: The show is one hour, which is too long, but at least the games are varied.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Some are easy-- like Plinko, while others-- like Lucky Seven, are pretty tough (and are dumb). </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: B</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxAcckTZo8PKwbl1gY6ExqrlNDTNQi7_GW1WDE-P9cUpLsG7lmDukfjNhfzCQil75tmDXQ10i2OVss46v9ldhl-dl-ot1RIWBjtusQDBjckUKtRPjok__zcdx5K3Cwc1mf6faLZtFlDkY/s1600/carey.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvxAcckTZo8PKwbl1gY6ExqrlNDTNQi7_GW1WDE-P9cUpLsG7lmDukfjNhfzCQil75tmDXQ10i2OVss46v9ldhl-dl-ot1RIWBjtusQDBjckUKtRPjok__zcdx5K3Cwc1mf6faLZtFlDkY/s200/carey.jpeg" width="159" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">"I'm sexy and I know it."</span></i></td></tr>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">HOST: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Bob Barker used to host this show and he was one of the greatest hosts of all time.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He also hated dogs and cats having sex.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">("Have your pets spayed or neutered.")</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Current host </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Drew Carey</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> has slimmed down a lot since his days on </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Drew Carey Show</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In fact, many would go so far as to say that he's downright sexy.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(I am not such a person.)</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> As a host, </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Carey isn't bad, but he's nowhere near as good as Barker was. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: B</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ATTRACTIVE FEMALE MODELS?: YES. </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There are f</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">our of them: Rachel, Amber, Gwendolyn, and Manuela.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">DIFFICULTY</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">: </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>EASY</i></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">-</span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>MODERATE</i></b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> Some skill goes along with guessing the prices of things, but there's definitely a lot of luck because who really knows if that car is $18,393 or $18,394.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(No grade for this section since if a show is more or less difficult can be good or bad depending on your level of intelligence.)</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">PRIZES</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">: Many people don't realize that you're taxed heavily on game show winnings.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So, if you win something you don't really want, you're still going to have to pay around 30% of its value in taxes to Uncle Sam (which, as the Ninja Turtles would say, is a bummer).</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRkTrwzyIutQfFFPOcYB3Jc9knAvTtYTdP190as41fMrMiKrqAF9l9n-J5p7BL2L5Fo219nX1sdDg4W_1LFqxwZp7G4-I3EswDWWxi-OwHez6S7Uov6D3fQOEZEtxenSybBwMl_S0Jaaqn/s1600/Michaelangelo1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="178" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRkTrwzyIutQfFFPOcYB3Jc9knAvTtYTdP190as41fMrMiKrqAF9l9n-J5p7BL2L5Fo219nX1sdDg4W_1LFqxwZp7G4-I3EswDWWxi-OwHez6S7Uov6D3fQOEZEtxenSybBwMl_S0Jaaqn/s200/Michaelangelo1.jpeg" width="200" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>I don't want a boat! I want a pizza!</i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>I also want Shredder dead! </i></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>I like turtles.</i></span></td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With that in mind, many of the prizes on this show you most likely won't want.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's hard to win a car, but the cars that you can win aren't great.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the episode I watched, some old woman had a chance to win an off-road vehicle.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One Showcase Showdown consisted of a brand new power boat and a trip to Minnesota where you get to stay on a houseboat.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you are a boat lover, this is great, but if you are scared of the water, then this is a bad prize. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: C-</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">OVERALL: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A mildly entertaining show with a decent host, but mostly prizes that you don't really want. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE:<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;"> B-</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><u>LET'S MAKE A DEAL</u></span></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CBS 10am-11am</span></i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW3VoV3D4Yt4d5hlePvI2ISYyftwv9wNktz4P5GEBJQL83gcEe5L5gTTHuHa9IkZCS6SYNZLXlmTtidczKsk3dNyh9uYVUuf8KTw8UYtxhrF-CH-_eOE95Yn337iGbTqJMWBrwLzNfE_gU/s1600/Lets-Make-A-Deal.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="106" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhW3VoV3D4Yt4d5hlePvI2ISYyftwv9wNktz4P5GEBJQL83gcEe5L5gTTHuHa9IkZCS6SYNZLXlmTtidczKsk3dNyh9uYVUuf8KTw8UYtxhrF-CH-_eOE95Yn337iGbTqJMWBrwLzNfE_gU/s200/Lets-Make-A-Deal.jpeg" width="200" /></span></a></div>
<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THE CONCEPT: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Contestants, chosen from the audience, usually have to decide whether they want to keep a certain amount of money or take a box or a curtain instead.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Sometimes an unrevealed prize will be a "ZONK", aka a fake prize that's a piece of crap (not literally).</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">For example, a zonk could be bug candy or a "lemon car" (an actual zonk on the episode I just watched). </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: C-</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CONTESTANTS: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">All of the contests are dressed in ridiculous costumes.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I feel sort of bad for them.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">What happened in their lives that led them to this moment?</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One woman was dressed as a bathtub. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: C-</b></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGxB68fYF1ZldYw6VXDEJA6isOTysHf3ZdEtS5Enz-1MHxiwesvSXPW_1hP1uKyzSMHU3wTXM7P3QxUUv4l9ChXdqbTelhk06wPZUtt-eDESn51oEAIVHNDA0uwCQMq9DguP1FTpxu6u54/s1600/Zelda-Link-On-Wayne-Bradys-Lets-Make-a-Deal.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGxB68fYF1ZldYw6VXDEJA6isOTysHf3ZdEtS5Enz-1MHxiwesvSXPW_1hP1uKyzSMHU3wTXM7P3QxUUv4l9ChXdqbTelhk06wPZUtt-eDESn51oEAIVHNDA0uwCQMq9DguP1FTpxu6u54/s320/Zelda-Link-On-Wayne-Bradys-Lets-Make-a-Deal.jpeg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This picture pretty much sums up the whole show.</span></i></td></tr>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Clocking in at one hour, the show is waaaaaayyyy too long.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When the big game at the end of each episode consists of a contestant simply picking one out of three curtains and getting whatever is behind it, it's not too entertaining. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: C-</b><br />
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">HOST: Wayne Brady </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">sings, dances, and flirts with the ladies.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He also has an obnoxiousness level of 10. </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A Level 10 Obnoxiousness Level-- that's unheard of! </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: D</b><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0F6DvZAgHHQGrXwLkWc9lHyCV4cCHaqjh5q64kBWp_ZB1Sk0O7RQWcKXE1GnGBFzuXCNeLgv7c_ufhfhYYBWQ2pTfTt1XC9k_tdYQBj7-oGNup8cvG0eHUv5a7ldEwAkRulc3PnwJ0ztu/s1600/story-10-coyne-pir-3716-1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0F6DvZAgHHQGrXwLkWc9lHyCV4cCHaqjh5q64kBWp_ZB1Sk0O7RQWcKXE1GnGBFzuXCNeLgv7c_ufhfhYYBWQ2pTfTt1XC9k_tdYQBj7-oGNup8cvG0eHUv5a7ldEwAkRulc3PnwJ0ztu/s320/story-10-coyne-pir-3716-1.jpeg" width="212" /></span></a></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ATTRACTIVE FEMALE MODELS?: Tiffany Coyne, </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">but she's basically cancelled out by Jonathan, a jester-like co-host who's also Level 10 Obnoxiousness Level.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">DIFFICULTY: <i>EASY</i> </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Basically 100% luck.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unless you are mute, saying "I'll take the curtain," is not hard.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">PRIZES: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you're chosen from the audience you're pretty much guaranteed to take home a small amount of cash (between $500-$1500) if you don't take any curtains or boxes or anything.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">On the episode I watched, one woman won a hideous couch.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Someone else won two new bikes.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The best prize was a trip to Barbados, unless you want to pay taxes on a $15,000 Kia. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: B-</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">OVERALL: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The Price is Right </i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">and a scary clown had a baby and the baby tried to give you an awful headache, then you would have this incarnation of </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Let's Make a Deal</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">D</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><u>WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE?</u></span></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ABC Late night</span></i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRaH4QZ8HgpU8jCj2eF4wWtYy7ND7dmdYtXFE1DeYoU4nmxVh0AmsKCZdCjNe43ArFVuFIeOxRl6bhS6HtoBZZoISYL2AjUdLjpDwv6IoRZ_HOfnfiU3C56H0k4fdcvm3SWYQa3M7DkR_Y/s1600/millionaire-logo-medium.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjRaH4QZ8HgpU8jCj2eF4wWtYy7ND7dmdYtXFE1DeYoU4nmxVh0AmsKCZdCjNe43ArFVuFIeOxRl6bhS6HtoBZZoISYL2AjUdLjpDwv6IoRZ_HOfnfiU3C56H0k4fdcvm3SWYQa3M7DkR_Y/s200/millionaire-logo-medium.gif" width="196" /></span></a></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THE CONCEPT: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Basically it's dumbed down </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Millionaire</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Same multiple choice questions, but now the first 10 questions are in a random order (concerning their difficulty and the amount of money they're worth).</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Your first question could be super easy but worth $25,000.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">After the first 10 questions, which range between $100-25K in winnings, the show goes into normal, old </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Millionaire</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> format.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">You get two Jump the Questions and one Ask the Audience.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CONTESTANTS: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Not as intelligent as the contestants who were on the show when Regis was the host.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Boring people. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: C-</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Despite the new format trying to switch it up, the show is pretty bland.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Contestants seem less than enthused and the host isn't as funny as she thinks she is. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: C</b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>HOST: </b>S</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ince Regis is now in TD Bank commercials and is old, <b>Meredith Vieira</b> is the show's host. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Vieira</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> is pretty.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pretty lame that is.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(ZING! See what I did there?)</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">She loves to pretend contestants are wrong, but then (SHOCKER) she's really toying with them and they're right. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: D</b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXLuEbULQrQ2V2DLah28dTjt_W7aXPfII0K6SL8m6qsrjAM5S-Tug38Gp3rwZNI77zR8BGMmROxQT56ReHQX4TefGhpm71Pi6euEdHCy-ZnTCQeJpnd5VmkTrKvamxwfShEQnha7tPuW_k/s1600/image.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXLuEbULQrQ2V2DLah28dTjt_W7aXPfII0K6SL8m6qsrjAM5S-Tug38Gp3rwZNI77zR8BGMmROxQT56ReHQX4TefGhpm71Pi6euEdHCy-ZnTCQeJpnd5VmkTrKvamxwfShEQnha7tPuW_k/s320/image.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Someone just arrived in her time machine from the 1990s.</span></i></td></tr>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ATTRACTIVE FEMALE MODELS?: Nope. :(</span></b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">DIFFICULTY: <i>MODERATE</i> </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">With the two jumps and the Ask the Audience, if you are reading this article (which means you can read), you can probably make it to the second stage of the game and bank yourself 40K or more.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you're gonna win something on a game show, cash is the what you want.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">PRIZES: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Cash money. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: A-</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">OVERALL: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I'd pass as far as watching the show goes, but if you get the opportunity to be a contestant, go for it. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">C</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><u>JEOPARDY!</u></span></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ABC 7pm-7:30pm</span></i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxiLze2gY788F4u77MZ2gIU-5Dkp03AFw1Cijj4uG0Mgq7K0mYlWuPXvQvByl-stC0CeYvTtzoEAtQCB0UIJsE4QLyefHfKk1OtLfX6wNwbo76qVNtsYh7rASckRVRKoAd8bwutau-jXZX/s1600/jeopardy_logo.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="132" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxiLze2gY788F4u77MZ2gIU-5Dkp03AFw1Cijj4uG0Mgq7K0mYlWuPXvQvByl-stC0CeYvTtzoEAtQCB0UIJsE4QLyefHfKk1OtLfX6wNwbo76qVNtsYh7rASckRVRKoAd8bwutau-jXZX/s200/jeopardy_logo.jpeg" width="200" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>THE CONCEPT: </b>Your classic quiz show. Three contestants answer questions from a variety of categories (often with witty names) that are worth different amounts of money. Daily Doubles and Final Jeopardy spice things up (because nothing says spicy fun like Jeopardy).<b> GRADE: B</b></span><br />
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CONTESTANTS: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When Alex Trebek has the contestants tell their little intro after the show's first commercial,</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">they tell some story that inevitably makes them seem even weirder than they (probably) even are.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Once, one woman talked about how she ran over a family of ducks. That's someone I want to root for. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: C</b><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmhoRrlH4rrXPYjnhWAAV2ySRGY1TkaqK1ZEmuVKP4F5bfFwgAiVUmGE3RJnxnmRGEITtVj35Kb8P4IzVtkiLAXO8BrYD3JI-fCSaNyAw_rXn_se5H5jkosSAt59kfdq5-poSthtrtGkkI/s1600/Ken-Jennings-jeopardy-391126_489_305.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmhoRrlH4rrXPYjnhWAAV2ySRGY1TkaqK1ZEmuVKP4F5bfFwgAiVUmGE3RJnxnmRGEITtVj35Kb8P4IzVtkiLAXO8BrYD3JI-fCSaNyAw_rXn_se5H5jkosSAt59kfdq5-poSthtrtGkkI/s320/Ken-Jennings-jeopardy-391126_489_305.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Lady killer and Jeopardy wiz, Ken Jennings</span></i></td></tr>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The show goes by quickly.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Questions are varied.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you like trivia, this is definitely the show to watch. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: B+</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">HOST: Alex Trebek</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> is always spot-on.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even at 71, it's clear that he's still got </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">it</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Well-spoken and intelligent (unlike that awful Wayne Brady). </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: A</b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ATTRACTIVE FEMALE MODELS?: No.</span></b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">DIFFICULTY: <i>HARD</i> </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Of all the shows mentioned in this article, </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Jeopardy</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> is the only one where you've really got to be smart.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">When I watch an episode, I like to say the answers that I know aloud so that the people watching it with me know that I am a genius. This works even better if I am re-watching an episode that I've seen.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">PRIZES: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whoever wins gets to keep all the money that they've earned.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No matter their cash totals, second and third place only get $1,000 and $2,000 respectively.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Considering the difficulty of the show, you'd expect contestants to get more. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: C-</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">OVERALL: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">A game show that really challenges you with interesting trivia questions?</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Answer: What is Jeopardy. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">A-</span></b></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><u>WHEEL OF FORTUNE</u></span></b></div>
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<b><i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ABC 7:30pm-8pm</span></i></b></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqZcZAPPY1R5o3KsrznLPP2c3m8QQHKrjnENW5Z_AbnReEUTBCOmq9ZoecpOL5ER34lNXqXxguOcfM_lSVP0CyBXzSFclvwO-FMHu5e-TPZahlaiyoIFPTJLKa72Stji4s3oweOtz7ivJL/s1600/wheelofortune4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="112" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqZcZAPPY1R5o3KsrznLPP2c3m8QQHKrjnENW5Z_AbnReEUTBCOmq9ZoecpOL5ER34lNXqXxguOcfM_lSVP0CyBXzSFclvwO-FMHu5e-TPZahlaiyoIFPTJLKa72Stji4s3oweOtz7ivJL/s200/wheelofortune4.jpeg" width="200" /></span></a></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THE CONCEPT: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Three contestants spin a big wheel with different monetary amounts/prizes.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They then call out a letter in an attempt to solve a word puzzle.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Basically, it's Hangman.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whoever wins gets to try to guess a final puzzle with a larger prize. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: A</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">CONTESTANTS: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Pretty varied.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">They all smile a lot and clap when they spin the wheel. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: B</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ENTERTAINMENT VALUE: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Anyone can play along with </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wheel of Fortune</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's fun to watch it with your friends and see who can solve the puzzles the fastest.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">And by "fun" I mean it's something to do</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">between 7:30 and 8pm on a weeknight if you are lame And by "lame" I really mean awesome. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: B+</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">HOST: Pat Sajak </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">is that guy at a big family get-together or high school reunion who catches you in a conversation that you really don't want to be in.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He thinks he's hilarious, but in reality he is kind of a tool.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This show needs to upgrade its host. I am available. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: C-</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">ATTRACTIVE FEMALE MODELS?: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Does </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Vanna White</b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> count even though she is actually a robot?</span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiriEKRD0yphYB1h_zl94PBrCQesIvpYRIyld8keJB2e3dEXPL279_UYZph7l39fcUhGPR4IOLUuYoEaOpGLdad-ceUCaWIKzz_uYDRjqcuPIhUlgICW9sOoywQ7NglJ4kMIvKgcqoCMwmJ/s1600/T-600-terminator-5258492-665-1000.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: black;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiriEKRD0yphYB1h_zl94PBrCQesIvpYRIyld8keJB2e3dEXPL279_UYZph7l39fcUhGPR4IOLUuYoEaOpGLdad-ceUCaWIKzz_uYDRjqcuPIhUlgICW9sOoywQ7NglJ4kMIvKgcqoCMwmJ/s320/T-600-terminator-5258492-665-1000.jpg" width="212" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Vanna White without her costume</span></i></td></tr>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">DIFFICULTY:<i> EASY-MODERATE</i> </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Being a great puzzle solver helps, but there's still a big luck element.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">It's not called </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wheel of Skill</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">.</span></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">PRIZES: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every contestant keeps the money and prizes that they've earned.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">At least one trip is won every episode and s</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">olving the final puzzle will net you at least 30K.</span><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><i style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Wheel</i><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> gives you the opportunity to win a lot of cash and it isn't too hard. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: A</b></div>
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<b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">OVERALL: </b><span style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Entertaining. </span><b style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">GRADE: <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">A-</span></b><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;"><b>Well, I'm off to go apply to be on all of these game shows. If they won't take me, I can always make easy $ by going on the next season of <i>The Voice</i>. I'm told that I sing like an angel.</b></span></div>
Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-4177565210468024052012-04-01T00:36:00.000-04:002012-04-12T08:48:42.786-04:00The 10 People I'm Having Over For Dinner<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Oh, hello there. I am having an amazing dinner party and you're invited. You're invitation is in the mail (I am very old-fashioned and don't believe in e-mail). What's great about this dinner party is that it is a magical dinner party. You see, I was able to invite anyone, fictional or nonfictional, living or dead. In addition to you and I, I was allowed to invite ten others (I cheated and there are actually a few more than ten other guests). Everyone else has already RSVP'd (they'll all be attending). I hope you can make it!</span></div>
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<b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">GUEST LIST</span></u></b></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1. Wolverine</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We want the dinner party to be cool, don't we? (We do.) Well, no one is cooler than Wolverine. He probably won't talk too much, but that's fine; when he does talk, everyone will listen. We will have a special smoking corner for Wolverine for when he wants to have a cigar (since we don't want everyone else to get black lungs).</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">He needs a fork and a spoon, but not a knife.</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2. Jesus & Moses</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I felt sort of obligated to invite these two. Jesus can bring the wine and Moses can bring some matzoh.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Let's go to Jeffrey's dinner, Jesus."- Moses</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">3. Martha Washington</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If you want to get all the real gossip on a man, talk to his wife. George Was</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">hington, psssshhhh, let's have Martha come!</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Martha Washington... or is this Ben Franklin?</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">4. Harry Potter</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Harry Potter is invited under the condition that he doesn't talk too much or get annoying. (He is also definitely not allowed to bring Ron.) It was crucial that we have at least one non-Muggle at the dinner.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">"Book Harry Potter," not "Movie Harry Potter," is invited.</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">5. The Ninja Turtles (minus Michelangelo)</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The Ninja Turtles are awesome! Looks like we're going to have pizza at this party (with no anchovies). Michelangelo is not invited because he is obnoxious and will get drunk off of Jesus' wine.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Not the turtle on the left.</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">6. Mila Kunis</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I realized that there aren't enough hot people coming to the party. Mila Kunis is hot and she seems pretty nice and down-to-earth.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I have not yet mastered the sexy head tilt.</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">7. Jane Goodall</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My favorite animal is the capuchin monkey and no one knows primates better than Jane Goodall. (She is not allowed to bring monkeys to the dinner though because Martha Washington would be scared of them.) Also, we need a kindly old woman to bake cookies for the party.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>No plus ones, Goodall!</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">8. Houdini</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Someone is going to have to provide entertainment for the dinner and who's more entertaining than history's greatest magician? (The question is rhetorical, do not try to think up an answer.)</span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Of course the star of The Master Mystery is invited!</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">9. Rex Ryan</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Rex Ryan has a true appreciation for food and is the coach of my favorite sports team, the New York Jets. He is jolly and good-natured and will make sure there are no leftovers.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Rex was happy when he heard there would be mozzarella sticks.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">10. Taylor Swift</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I'm not a country music fan, but I have one of those unexplainable crushes on Taylor Swift.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>If we are lucky, Taylor will sing "Love Story" after we eat.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I also thought up a special non-guest list. While only those listed above are allowed to attend (no one else!), these individuals are <i>especially</i> not allowed to come to the dinner party.</span></b></div>
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<b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">DEFINITELY NOT INVITED LIST</span></u></b></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1. Lady Gaga</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">She'd ruin the dinner by showing up dressed as a giant poop.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>She would try to top her meat dress.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">2. Magneto</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Magneto would try to enslave half the guests. Party foul!</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>I should've gotten plastic utensils!</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">3. Regis</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The last thing a dinner party needs is boring, drawn-out stories from an old man.</span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">"I remember when Frank Sinatra and I..."</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">4. Patrick from Sponge Bob</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Patrick means well, but he would end up turning the dinner into a huge disaster. Actually, all the characters from <i>Sponge Bob</i> are banned.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Wow.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">5. Hannibal Lecter</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This one is for obvious reasons. Though he is polite and well-spoken, he would try to eat us.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM4ys_JACnr1ZKq0GdxUQFi9VrtgIuZM9MAxxN8KdazJJ93T875DGnYQAeFExd5QZvRYsBqaGrTCRL6BacATBzRdnnMPfdoJ6wzQGlFg9Pb-JaYtrfrXmsLNS-vQ0R0bX3kO4FQaMEXath/s1600/hannibal-lecter-in-his-trademark-bite-mask-thumb-450x322-30440.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM4ys_JACnr1ZKq0GdxUQFi9VrtgIuZM9MAxxN8KdazJJ93T875DGnYQAeFExd5QZvRYsBqaGrTCRL6BacATBzRdnnMPfdoJ6wzQGlFg9Pb-JaYtrfrXmsLNS-vQ0R0bX3kO4FQaMEXath/s320/hannibal-lecter-in-his-trademark-bite-mask-thumb-450x322-30440.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Don't worry, there's no way he can escape.</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">6. Robin</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Batman is cool, why does he need a wimpy side-kick? The answer is that he doesn't.</span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Robin is about to open up a can of whoop-ass.</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">7. Willy Wonka</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Willy Wonka will poison everyone. Also, he is the most annoying character ever.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Stay out of my party, Satan.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">8. Attila the Hun</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I do not want everyone at the dinner party to be viciously murdered.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52nupbJngLmQC4r5iF77E8C_GkV4ZVx365tBKALt5kFa4H3zJhgtRNEQQFe7weARtmiCJiPiA3NXEDDEKerJKD45ypwXaTlZIvVZOi-xRktLcqVg7Otv0KL8rh4B4odIq4Ug8pQIPH1GL/s1600/Atilla_fle%25CC%2581au_de_dieu.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh52nupbJngLmQC4r5iF77E8C_GkV4ZVx365tBKALt5kFa4H3zJhgtRNEQQFe7weARtmiCJiPiA3NXEDDEKerJKD45ypwXaTlZIvVZOi-xRktLcqVg7Otv0KL8rh4B4odIq4Ug8pQIPH1GL/s320/Atilla_fle%25CC%2581au_de_dieu.jpg" width="248" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Workin' the "Jafar from Aladdin goatee." Nice.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">9. Tony Romo</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Tony will be the life of the party until he somehow manages to ruin the whole event in the last half hour.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS1hjMYMnSz3eWBtKADOSMKDyRZ4GcF3XnUBWCWhr1AAr3gDWxRcnrhL5D0HoylEfgng-m3ckV7lfFBBg8ysOI0-63ooUJzmUQ_Fh7vj7ZhKkUhn69b11OEUp-FbLJzxUF0q2Iw7fvD5Gh/s1600/300.ad_.TonyRomo.012309.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS1hjMYMnSz3eWBtKADOSMKDyRZ4GcF3XnUBWCWhr1AAr3gDWxRcnrhL5D0HoylEfgng-m3ckV7lfFBBg8ysOI0-63ooUJzmUQ_Fh7vj7ZhKkUhn69b11OEUp-FbLJzxUF0q2Iw7fvD5Gh/s1600/300.ad_.TonyRomo.012309.jpeg" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Time for a good cry.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">10. Winnie the Pooh</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Pooh is a nice bear, but could he be anymore boring? Also, there will be no honey served at the dinner and Pooh would be very upset.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPO-fViFzRCGJweTZ22PDOh4pXAfGxIZeMmOSFHH-01HXf-jVASzccJhvVMNOXIQIYYFXY_CbbojISBQ4GAdIe2DVEbjOaX8zHDjPRVCS2maOSiw1-5nsf46x1Mmqj4No_kM5fU8-3yn25/s1600/Pooh-Hunny-Pot-winnie-the-pooh-1993701-1024-768-001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPO-fViFzRCGJweTZ22PDOh4pXAfGxIZeMmOSFHH-01HXf-jVASzccJhvVMNOXIQIYYFXY_CbbojISBQ4GAdIe2DVEbjOaX8zHDjPRVCS2maOSiw1-5nsf46x1Mmqj4No_kM5fU8-3yn25/s320/Pooh-Hunny-Pot-winnie-the-pooh-1993701-1024-768-001.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Stop hogging all the honey.</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><i><b>So, clear you're calendar, special guest! This dinner party is going to be a blast!</b></i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRQUl2gCIIdfKb-3qVbRuPCiCQ88h0C00j0m35sYK6MFs0ygTDpbIHJCwrE4i8-AzbXopxW-i73lf98aZmU4ite8BQtzXHNJM3_-YHyy6WRYn2Rws7lNe2eyB_VjH6QECX75sUh-0YnYpO/s1600/131778739434716.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRQUl2gCIIdfKb-3qVbRuPCiCQ88h0C00j0m35sYK6MFs0ygTDpbIHJCwrE4i8-AzbXopxW-i73lf98aZmU4ite8BQtzXHNJM3_-YHyy6WRYn2Rws7lNe2eyB_VjH6QECX75sUh-0YnYpO/s1600/131778739434716.jpeg" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Looks like you and I are going to man the bar! Also, your head is massive.</i></span></div>
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</div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-17235519715063779932012-03-19T18:11:00.000-04:002012-04-12T08:48:03.145-04:00MARCH MADNESS WITH MASCOTS: THE SWEET SIXTEEN<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If you're anything like me (and if you're reading this, there's a good chance that you are me re-reading my work), then your bracket is completely and hopelessly busted. Thanks a lot Missouri and Florida State. There goes any chance that I'll be applying to either of your grad schools.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Luckily for us, Yahoo has something called the Second Chance Bracket. Basically, if you predict the rest of the games correctly and win a bunch of tie breakers you win $5,000.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Since my method of picking teams by analyzing games didn't work last time, I'll be picking winners based on college mascots. This is probably what I should've been doing all along. Let's take a look at who's going to be squaring off on Thursday and Friday.</span></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">THE WILDCAT (Kentucky) vs. NO MASCOT (Indiana)</span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2c1oWhXArpQylvsx1Wj4oUZjCzWNXHCsrB1WM8hgdveeQeReCPmcBwZDZmTbbdQm5osIM4ewGUImCUBFEYBUlYBDJE28ZgBuhO-AxDyaMeG-aYVq0CA44NR4qhu2Hi1gMvDFpSPkM_-Yx/s1600/wildcat.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="437" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2c1oWhXArpQylvsx1Wj4oUZjCzWNXHCsrB1WM8hgdveeQeReCPmcBwZDZmTbbdQm5osIM4ewGUImCUBFEYBUlYBDJE28ZgBuhO-AxDyaMeG-aYVq0CA44NR4qhu2Hi1gMvDFpSPkM_-Yx/s640/wildcat.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">How lame is it to have no mascot at all? (Answer: Very lame.) The Wildcat is pretty standard as far as mascots go, but he wins here by default.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Winner: The Wildcat</span></i></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">BRUISER (Baylor) vs. D'ARTAGNAN THE MUSKETEER (Xavier)</span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3azsmyUr7tELlh7Dkrsh2l890GEbIcz3xHOHMZDyMOLkPvPsGMnfL6JY1Rm4hplnMYyGRLm7A3j6rGOopNn6qlfHNNnaEaox9QfcNHks7liH7q7IrmhyphenhyphenglRkuuNs3omEnOFTmDz5EFa0l/s1600/bruiser.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3azsmyUr7tELlh7Dkrsh2l890GEbIcz3xHOHMZDyMOLkPvPsGMnfL6JY1Rm4hplnMYyGRLm7A3j6rGOopNn6qlfHNNnaEaox9QfcNHks7liH7q7IrmhyphenhyphenglRkuuNs3omEnOFTmDz5EFa0l/s640/bruiser.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Bruiser is another basic, boring mascot. He's cross-eyed and has a dumb name, but besides that there's really not much to him. Xavier's D'Artagnan the Musketeer is very unique. Though he doesn't actually have a musket (because some liberals would have a fit if he did), it's pretty clear that D'Artagnan could hold his own in a fight (and could easily take Bruiser). In addition to D'Artagnan, Xavier has a second mascot: The Blue Blob. The Blue Blob is great because he has nothing to do with the team's name and also is completely ridiculous.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Winner: D'Artagnan the Musketeer</span></i></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">SPARTY (Michigan St.) vs. CARDINAL BIRD (Louisville)</span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-qLUaZ029_alimpcBbtcGY-ZbbYi1lZQDPlmgMyipcZxLFhW0buvQi_7qqVEGMYy6pqsj1WhVNCu5j9OP2TTf4NMNaIPV4tL_6lBgMlzKWUoo32gVCpqVAWRj30Zv_kvHI26KPkl-Kzq1/s1600/sparty.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-qLUaZ029_alimpcBbtcGY-ZbbYi1lZQDPlmgMyipcZxLFhW0buvQi_7qqVEGMYy6pqsj1WhVNCu5j9OP2TTf4NMNaIPV4tL_6lBgMlzKWUoo32gVCpqVAWRj30Zv_kvHI26KPkl-Kzq1/s640/sparty.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sparty is jacked… maybe too jacked. In fact, he looks like a jerk-- less like a real Spartan and more like a frat guy who is dressed up like a spartan on Halloween. On the other hand, you've got "Cardinal Bird". The Cardinal Bird costume looks like something you'd find in a box in my grandmother's attic (and then throw in the trash).</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Winner: Sparty</span></i></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">GOLDEN EAGLE (Marquette) vs. ALBERT (Florida)</span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8m8j0RUREhBb1LgTIxWrHIkiYgmo38psvz8A4h_tR3hWxuHIuQzhJ-hlaNp5PwulXvBQXFDKqmbppu_PAQMfxC6gV0JY8brhobxz-rW4XPREyf5i8e-_C-xftGqYOqQCH4lDRfRpxqxQC/s1600/goldeneagle.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8m8j0RUREhBb1LgTIxWrHIkiYgmo38psvz8A4h_tR3hWxuHIuQzhJ-hlaNp5PwulXvBQXFDKqmbppu_PAQMfxC6gV0JY8brhobxz-rW4XPREyf5i8e-_C-xftGqYOqQCH4lDRfRpxqxQC/s640/goldeneagle.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This one is tough because they're both so bad. Should we go with the Golden Eagle and his plastic beak and unappealing color combination of brown and yellow, or should we go with Albert, who is perhaps the least intimidating alligator I have ever seen? It's gonna be a close one.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Winner: Albert</span></i></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">OTTO THE ORANGE (Syracuse) vs. BUCKY BADGER (Wisconsin)</span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6euT0GfqR8x12iEltq36eDSkra5nMhqSSHznNSo7Ei-q73aIdMPxpJOA9xc6t1XUeL-F3JmzAtOzUBbmjdaJ-T2vZIHNhFRSXKnoRzyhvI5xF_nbBznWwAOFKfIjjG54de-QIoZTduKav/s1600/otto.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6euT0GfqR8x12iEltq36eDSkra5nMhqSSHznNSo7Ei-q73aIdMPxpJOA9xc6t1XUeL-F3JmzAtOzUBbmjdaJ-T2vZIHNhFRSXKnoRzyhvI5xF_nbBznWwAOFKfIjjG54de-QIoZTduKav/s640/otto.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Two of the best (possibly <i>the</i> best) mascots face off! Otto is a giant orange! Bucky Badger is a very unique-looking badger! In the end, Bucky takes it because of his hideous Where's Waldo shirt with a W on it!</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Winner: Bucky Badger</span></i></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">BRUTUS BUCKEYE (Ohio St.) vs. THE BEARCAT (Cincinnati)</span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibNKCnULW26Hjw9vRo6n0f2p5iZdtoJvL4mKBDTr2Jh3I5_G2c32mVXThIBwRnfkbIZ-1AFdHu-TDSWbb99Hv1J2zsXv34cc3aWElx1rnWGv5DY33V8N9IqSMuVE_aONwveEAdIQzw55DB/s1600/brutus.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEibNKCnULW26Hjw9vRo6n0f2p5iZdtoJvL4mKBDTr2Jh3I5_G2c32mVXThIBwRnfkbIZ-1AFdHu-TDSWbb99Hv1J2zsXv34cc3aWElx1rnWGv5DY33V8N9IqSMuVE_aONwveEAdIQzw55DB/s640/brutus.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There he is: Brutus Buckeye, my least favorite mascot in the history of mascots. Brutus is a revolting menace and I would love nothing more than to never see his disturbing visage ever again. I have nothing against Ohio State, but I always find myself rooting for them to lose so that I do not have to endure seeing this hideous nut-headed freak for another game.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Winner: The Bearcat</span></i></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">RAMESES (UNC) vs. RUFUS THE BOBCAT (Ohio)</span></b></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6_hIMXdz8pWzIdTyzU8_OQrwSz_ZkT3UpZhe0ZSriO-uOI_s6nKTG78Db9gWNgBRbSTlvKVzSckz21I4JMDTBzlpbWlvwAn202GEvkcOUA617F5NamBMv9XLqRGVoL5jOrZNSARpf61iM/s1600/rameses.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg6_hIMXdz8pWzIdTyzU8_OQrwSz_ZkT3UpZhe0ZSriO-uOI_s6nKTG78Db9gWNgBRbSTlvKVzSckz21I4JMDTBzlpbWlvwAn202GEvkcOUA617F5NamBMv9XLqRGVoL5jOrZNSARpf61iM/s640/rameses.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Rameses is different I suppose, but that baby blue UNC jersey is neither intimidating or cool. Rufus the Bobcat looks like he is going to go kill someone. Also, he appears to be wearing a New York Jets jersey from the 1980s.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Winner: Rufus the Bobcat</span></i></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">JAYHAWK (Kansas) vs. MR. WUF (NC State)</span></b></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqYxdHw-y8qB74fC66RWlU0oZYyuILoFVtMpudJFzt_ZiD-nPJkYtr8sX2PtTnHq6XA-yH1X2rZUwm7jWm2qLGx2Uot5OlkjukRQayzqJV7u4cWgrIJM9Gn3W9LtWOlAGSdzmBHQURUMr0/s1600/jayhawk.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="424" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqYxdHw-y8qB74fC66RWlU0oZYyuILoFVtMpudJFzt_ZiD-nPJkYtr8sX2PtTnHq6XA-yH1X2rZUwm7jWm2qLGx2Uot5OlkjukRQayzqJV7u4cWgrIJM9Gn3W9LtWOlAGSdzmBHQURUMr0/s640/jayhawk.png" width="640" /></span></a></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Mr. Wuf looks like he's done something wrong (like eaten Little Red Riding Hood's grandmother), but now feels sort of bad about it. Jayhawk gets props for being so colorful (something that mascots are sadly often lacking is bright, vibrant color), but Mr. Wuf's sailor cap puts him over the top.</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Winner: Mr. Wuf</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There you have it-- all my predictions for the next round of games!</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What's that? You want to know my predictions for the rest of the tournament based on team mascots? Well, alright.</span></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">ELITE EIGHT</span></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">D'ARTAGNAN THE MUSKETEER (Xavier) over THE WILDCAT (Kentucky)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">SPARTY (Michigan St.) over ALBERT (Florida)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">BUCKY BADGER (Wisconsin) over THE BEARCAT (Cincinnati)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">MR. WUF (NC State) over RUFUS THE BOBCAT (Ohio)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">FINAL FOUR</span></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">D'ARTAGNAN THE MUSKETEER (Xavier) over SPARTY (Michigan St.)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">BUCKY BADGER (Wisconsin) over MR. WUF (NC State)</span></div>
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<span style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">CHAMPIONSHIP</span></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">BUCKY BADGER (Wisconsin) over D'ARTAGNAN THE MUSKETEER (Xavier)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Wow! Wisconsin over Xavier in the Championship! It sure looks like this method of picking games is going to work!</span></div>
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<br /></div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-66737010144146919552012-02-07T19:13:00.000-05:002013-01-22T21:00:35.671-05:00Top 10 Worst Toy Fads!<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Time to get nostalgic, ladies and gents! Let’s countdown the T<b>op 10 Worst Toy
Fads</b>! Admit it, you had a bunch of
these things.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">10. Beanie Babies<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I still remember my first Beanie Baby.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5sr_9IEX73D1YIpahGSUjm4pGHjqCXuQ5gR-oF1snzvXw4PfHrt84n5jSSSkjqNBrdEyXjVQhwV7AlMtylydwMG-Cc50FZRmgQ2shc9dn7aZeCL-SRY037RVIAdFGsMXozyVKnuYpz702/s1600/scottie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5sr_9IEX73D1YIpahGSUjm4pGHjqCXuQ5gR-oF1snzvXw4PfHrt84n5jSSSkjqNBrdEyXjVQhwV7AlMtylydwMG-Cc50FZRmgQ2shc9dn7aZeCL-SRY037RVIAdFGsMXozyVKnuYpz702/s320/scottie.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scottie is a friendly
sort<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Even though his legs
are short<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">He is always happy as
can be<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">His best friends are
you and me!<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Birthday = 06/15/1996</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Beanie Babies are just little stuffed animals, but kids (and
some adults with problems) went crazy over them. You couldn’t cut off the tags because they were also
collector’s items and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">ty</i>, the company
that made them, came out with special edition beanie babies for just about every
holiday. They even made a Princess
Diana Beanie Baby (don’t worry, it’s a purple bear; it doesn’t actually look
like her). A “first-generation” edition
of the bear sells for around $150, because paying five bucks for a
fourth-generation version just wouldn’t be the same.</span></div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcvXePnhIHU7xmYku9YVaKYuiWGhuniuuGPM-J5d20vzxLAMk89ag2Eq5KpxqaLVRSWW1vKYyJ7iMxWVD-i5wrDJ_1ySZ_0LmRlliUA7tJANkWmiErhtiWqtae_VCmrOzR1GaFi5XWpnUK/s1600/Princess+Di+beanie+baby.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcvXePnhIHU7xmYku9YVaKYuiWGhuniuuGPM-J5d20vzxLAMk89ag2Eq5KpxqaLVRSWW1vKYyJ7iMxWVD-i5wrDJ_1ySZ_0LmRlliUA7tJANkWmiErhtiWqtae_VCmrOzR1GaFi5XWpnUK/s1600/Princess+Di+beanie+baby.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">9. Cabbage Patch Kids</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Invasion of the
Body Snatchers, </i>the aliens grow big plants with pod people versions of
human beings inside them. The pod
people then replace the human people and it is awful!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmVDd2IxSSxm-5Hqpp0lXx70r9T7cFv6X453cdv8EupLnbl90sm7RvxEEh89BqMUIyq_o49MkB9D4a5b2N_XP5S2QvTUCtZfSmCI-mqsbHiwlvBqXZqViI38THsRuOpgE2CRq50H2SZ_Q/s1600/Pod_People_001.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizmVDd2IxSSxm-5Hqpp0lXx70r9T7cFv6X453cdv8EupLnbl90sm7RvxEEh89BqMUIyq_o49MkB9D4a5b2N_XP5S2QvTUCtZfSmCI-mqsbHiwlvBqXZqViI38THsRuOpgE2CRq50H2SZ_Q/s320/Pod_People_001.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Growing pod people, aka Cabbage Patch Kids.</i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">This is also the story of Cabbage Patch Kids, who are scary
pod people dolls who are adopted by small children that don’t realize they are
adopting alien babies who will ultimately kill them.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi167ZulqwRLjK3S3JL4i_07SUPlNI93bHvfbuYLrqFRNJNUoknjiFItDYrvyLX480xO4exPlwZtoB2DcQklXhKxC3VFjn0fDJR5GoROtxufpHPdtnZjLDqtDBJ_aQaPzNI1HEAPJQTwU_w/s1600/213393318.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi167ZulqwRLjK3S3JL4i_07SUPlNI93bHvfbuYLrqFRNJNUoknjiFItDYrvyLX480xO4exPlwZtoB2DcQklXhKxC3VFjn0fDJR5GoROtxufpHPdtnZjLDqtDBJ_aQaPzNI1HEAPJQTwU_w/s320/213393318.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">8. Pokémon Cards<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Pokémon</i> was a
mediocre Japanese anime show that somehow became extremely popular. Actually, what really became extremely
popular were Pokémon cards since more people seemed to collect them than actually watched the show.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtm27pwkJMqTNMUi1qZOEUWTFRAUKc_qKm4OtTKiGIj5ybRxYzZz75osDEMV0s8pdGmin9qMfrkOL3NcM6d-xaxneVpATXpI98T28DIVyoNXkSDvJJJU_wdW8XJoqQLlLF1OIoOhBMulUe/s1600/71-diglett.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjtm27pwkJMqTNMUi1qZOEUWTFRAUKc_qKm4OtTKiGIj5ybRxYzZz75osDEMV0s8pdGmin9qMfrkOL3NcM6d-xaxneVpATXpI98T28DIVyoNXkSDvJJJU_wdW8XJoqQLlLF1OIoOhBMulUe/s320/71-diglett.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
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<i>Lookin' good, Diglett!</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No one really played the Pokémon card game (since it
stunk); they only wanted the cards because they were so damn awesome. Hologram cards were the best and you
always wanted the cards that had the little star in the corner.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGTpxv3TULdcfESB-r4Is-DHag0hohwzoaMWul0KzqfPS4bvfBHCLz4K6EW2g-c1CLqDqKm71q24040Ta8Paqn0Fe92aJfCSCKHASzpvufeA1jQL6sPsXNYeO2vEVR93RNtYSkjp8LRmnL/s1600/50353_279769713847_6089088_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGTpxv3TULdcfESB-r4Is-DHag0hohwzoaMWul0KzqfPS4bvfBHCLz4K6EW2g-c1CLqDqKm71q24040Ta8Paqn0Fe92aJfCSCKHASzpvufeA1jQL6sPsXNYeO2vEVR93RNtYSkjp8LRmnL/s320/50353_279769713847_6089088_n.jpg" width="225" /></a></div>
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<i>Machamp takes steroids.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">7. Zhu Zhu Pets</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Zhu Zhu Pets flew off the shelves so fast that parents would
go check online about every three minutes to see if they got some of them in
stock somewhere. Some (clever)
people would even buy them and then re-sell them on e-bay for ten times their
retail value.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have a personal story involving Zhu Zhu Pets that I will now share with you:</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Late one night, when Zhu Zhu Pets were quite popular, I saw
that a few of them were available for purchase online at a pretty cheap price
(for Zhu Zhu Pets, “pretty cheap” meant a set of four for $80). I bought them planning to sell them and
make some big money.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRDrdqZGntrJpipKxbXwuLHLW_ksQQW_9LtRamAat7KszKWlG1NSKscmgznuM57mgQJkfkOwPIgMUEZcJY9eN4cMFDTVv4vxFOGoODlAKq6PDGzD0vxTBh7hVDVR6uFUDaq2EIyHQlDkLT/s1600/Zhu_Zhu_Pets_Hamster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiRDrdqZGntrJpipKxbXwuLHLW_ksQQW_9LtRamAat7KszKWlG1NSKscmgznuM57mgQJkfkOwPIgMUEZcJY9eN4cMFDTVv4vxFOGoODlAKq6PDGzD0vxTBh7hVDVR6uFUDaq2EIyHQlDkLT/s320/Zhu_Zhu_Pets_Hamster.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Worth $80?</i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, the next day, news came out that one of the hamsters, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mr. Squiggles,</i> had too much of some sort
of toxic metal in him. I was very
sad and learned that it is bad to buy things online when you are intoxicated.</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-size: x-large;">6. Tamagotchi</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tamagotchis were digital pets inside small plastic eggs. You could play with your Tamagotchi or
feed it or clean up its crap. If
you took care of the little demon creature, it would grow and become toilet
trained and do more tricks or something.
Talk about an exciting toy!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5asGco3FO5Ax5Jb7R-FOfQuatSlBxL7EHjQr3ob0sVPT9ZxJMEXQr1KRQjEwxPEPpfOd2C1oVLcqCZuPzQWA7VJXuTBcSOBKoml9yHKFF-jJZ2gJGBy3RwLgVlrPRxjclTaolrldFEOsd/s1600/Digital-Yellow.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="283" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5asGco3FO5Ax5Jb7R-FOfQuatSlBxL7EHjQr3ob0sVPT9ZxJMEXQr1KRQjEwxPEPpfOd2C1oVLcqCZuPzQWA7VJXuTBcSOBKoml9yHKFF-jJZ2gJGBy3RwLgVlrPRxjclTaolrldFEOsd/s320/Digital-Yellow.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Looks like 30 minutes of fun to me!</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">5. Pogs<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Know what’s cool?
Cardboard circles (aka: pogs).
For some reason, kids collected and traded pogs like crazy. I’m not going to lie, I had a ton of
pogs. Some of my pogs had pictures
of the X-Men on them and others had medieval characters (knights, dragons,
etc.). (I was super cool as a
child.)</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZrBzyv-4Ai3NEKwwyhCtXsFwn91wh358NFli33qToz3cgYOtBmex4pLC6WV0BX58BlBJFsIafnB0KNiSHcc08-IikPauS9-jDHKzYzUlfgbZjghuHfMx0ZOAml9_qPGQuXjwOUYouE61u/s1600/thumbnail-1.aspx.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZrBzyv-4Ai3NEKwwyhCtXsFwn91wh358NFli33qToz3cgYOtBmex4pLC6WV0BX58BlBJFsIafnB0KNiSHcc08-IikPauS9-jDHKzYzUlfgbZjghuHfMx0ZOAml9_qPGQuXjwOUYouE61u/s200/thumbnail-1.aspx.jpeg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There was also a game that you were supposed to play using pogs with your friends. It
involved using a “slammer” to flip the pogs into the air and seeing who could
get the most pogs to flip over.
Yup, the game sucked.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSi_PHcd94CcL8j78hLnd1lt5oCdRxrjKSJfuH5-aOkhVp5g_idIbSSoTpCUiu4f3uWIve-Kxgt1cx-CNbLUIvOd0hNqBZz9cHAt31c26-iks9afMt1WLlHyCl41RD-1267nTkKpkJ0Idh/s1600/omg_pogs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiSi_PHcd94CcL8j78hLnd1lt5oCdRxrjKSJfuH5-aOkhVp5g_idIbSSoTpCUiu4f3uWIve-Kxgt1cx-CNbLUIvOd0hNqBZz9cHAt31c26-iks9afMt1WLlHyCl41RD-1267nTkKpkJ0Idh/s320/omg_pogs.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>The more pogs you have, the fewer friends you have.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">4. Easy-Bake Oven<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Who thought that a miniature oven would be a great toy? I’m pretty sure around a million kids
got burned using one of these things and I bet a bunch of the ovens just
completely exploded. But, hey,
losing both your hands isn’t too big a price to pay for a miniature cake.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcTn2xMv_60KSQ70_wHX7KQTsE9lYMqgei5AKIgFfxvllOrNsFbpjtiMnNzFJm_nAs5-0IxAzAUu75qZ-9sj-ddYduWIVpN-bVQ94GaVKCig_ev8M_nPrixN98m4A71f85am4mVGWiIsEh/s1600/easy-bake-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="244" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcTn2xMv_60KSQ70_wHX7KQTsE9lYMqgei5AKIgFfxvllOrNsFbpjtiMnNzFJm_nAs5-0IxAzAUu75qZ-9sj-ddYduWIVpN-bVQ94GaVKCig_ev8M_nPrixN98m4A71f85am4mVGWiIsEh/s320/easy-bake-1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>KA BOOM!</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">3. Silly Bandz<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whoever came up with silly bandz is a genius. They’re just rubber bands in the shape
of different things (animals, hearts, Disney characters, etc., etc.)!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg27SMiVaXXy17NeIN9Z-6xCFA_12hLMHRdQOUhTA2TcowISAUg-nDNy82bdQOKVG1hSs2YncV_0PP0jlgVlYAMCaSpKQWduNLPOfq9zbh4BwPVPfacPYXXFRLV7ZXZ12E6tmOP5WFmw5g_/s1600/Silly-Rainforest.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg27SMiVaXXy17NeIN9Z-6xCFA_12hLMHRdQOUhTA2TcowISAUg-nDNy82bdQOKVG1hSs2YncV_0PP0jlgVlYAMCaSpKQWduNLPOfq9zbh4BwPVPfacPYXXFRLV7ZXZ12E6tmOP5WFmw5g_/s320/Silly-Rainforest.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Also, why is there a “Z” at the end of the word
“bandz”? Kids in America have a
hard enough time spelling already.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisEvq2X0EH5H6_2cH0Cn0s3pWzHv-VXmRexlV3E-lCvbwImaeV1OnjG9oRB-WiMsh_LJSX6nTSwrVdZTP6s-Hlh1A4aBjtqt3JBvq-GLI8O-frgbqHBotqROqObHW8BjtYVublc3jM9mCs/s1600/400140_127990253984600_100003208778877_135355_1885004648_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEisEvq2X0EH5H6_2cH0Cn0s3pWzHv-VXmRexlV3E-lCvbwImaeV1OnjG9oRB-WiMsh_LJSX6nTSwrVdZTP6s-Hlh1A4aBjtqt3JBvq-GLI8O-frgbqHBotqROqObHW8BjtYVublc3jM9mCs/s320/400140_127990253984600_100003208778877_135355_1885004648_n.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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<i>This boy is not a good speller.</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">2. Pet Rock<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here’s proof that anything can become a fad. It’s a rock. People who grew up in the 1970s think they’re so smart, but
they were all tricked into buying these dumb things.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGrPAqJN8IEVRNMWCmuqEq5ffTEoy6YM8F9ppdnDej2z2H-26ekVO7WAB94qrPN_1e99-N92G6uMaMW5en4HnQ3KsOwQyYM1ChTu0owWRm7mll4hgxLZ-spNuilR865r3ejmKBg67qAjxr/s1600/petrocknew250.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGrPAqJN8IEVRNMWCmuqEq5ffTEoy6YM8F9ppdnDej2z2H-26ekVO7WAB94qrPN_1e99-N92G6uMaMW5en4HnQ3KsOwQyYM1ChTu0owWRm7mll4hgxLZ-spNuilR865r3ejmKBg67qAjxr/s1600/petrocknew250.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess the pet rock is really a lesson in great marketing. I don’t know; maybe
it’s time for me to come out with the “Pet Blade of Grass”.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMWcA_pF4G0Am-FJyEJRwo6cdXRn0oFZAOzFfg8klrQslFii-B45_GrIgBp05VDRUsR8uBivOtIfpZSqkJaU6xk48qM_tFF26MZrcjG64d0v-FbbgXPiYDjXyln8srqjE0ETOgeAJz9V5m/s1600/blade-of-grass-web.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMWcA_pF4G0Am-FJyEJRwo6cdXRn0oFZAOzFfg8klrQslFii-B45_GrIgBp05VDRUsR8uBivOtIfpZSqkJaU6xk48qM_tFF26MZrcjG64d0v-FbbgXPiYDjXyln8srqjE0ETOgeAJz9V5m/s320/blade-of-grass-web.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Pet Blade of Grass</i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: lime; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-large;">1. Furby<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">There is nothing on the planet more annoying than a
Furby. Furbies look like a mix of
an owl and a hamster, so they’re hideous.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6E8-LQZhzMo4sIuNWhlzO-7mMLtzUVT8qORKyI7OAhGg5DELNrWMtLJb0rXHtYQCwQyl3nuLIGfBbYs6EYekVBbWBlpl2vK9i08avJs8aXfulGbQX0kPyHyL9o0U6Anfuh57K4He0pAXB/s1600/furby.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6E8-LQZhzMo4sIuNWhlzO-7mMLtzUVT8qORKyI7OAhGg5DELNrWMtLJb0rXHtYQCwQyl3nuLIGfBbYs6EYekVBbWBlpl2vK9i08avJs8aXfulGbQX0kPyHyL9o0U6Anfuh57K4He0pAXB/s320/furby.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>At least Beanie Babies are cute.</i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The most annoying thing about the Furby though is definitely
when it talks in a make-believe language called Furbish (which is guaranteed to
give anyone over the age of 12 a headache). If you get two Furbies together, they can talk to one
another, because the only thing better than one Furby is two Furbies (and the
only thing better than two Furbies is three Furbies)!</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkLPFnI7FaLuDFhdSMPlGcCS75AsrhH_DLMXKFJU-yKgD8Qq2QhQyjfDTZwuIo2qaAXwdYEitd8F367kJeujTHzZHw4AcnNrop1i1NawJDDRbnpMUxTIzLcCV4gVJiOh_Ab6CpqWXZvN4Y/s1600/furbyhhhh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkLPFnI7FaLuDFhdSMPlGcCS75AsrhH_DLMXKFJU-yKgD8Qq2QhQyjfDTZwuIo2qaAXwdYEitd8F367kJeujTHzZHw4AcnNrop1i1NawJDDRbnpMUxTIzLcCV4gVJiOh_Ab6CpqWXZvN4Y/s320/furbyhhhh.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>She's single, guys!</i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">That's all for now, folks. I'm off to trade some Pokemon cards, feed my </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Tamagotchi, and bake a chocolate cake for my Furby with an Easy-Back Oven. I hope I don't burn down the house.</span></i></div>
Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-32875228298614328522012-02-03T19:14:00.000-05:002013-01-22T21:15:49.337-05:00Top 10 Films of 2011!<br />
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Drum roll please. (*Drum, drum, drum, drum, drum* sound.) Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, (and
old people too,) it is time for the article you’ve all been waiting
for…JEFFREY’S TOP 10 FILMS OF 2011!!!!!!!
(Look how many exclamation points I used—how obnoxious!!!!)</div>
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As always, Oscar failed to nominate many of the year’s best
pictures and instead honored several undeserving works (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">War Horse</i>, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Help</i>). I am, of course, not referring to the
Oscars, the awards show, but to the film rankings done by my great uncle Oscar,
who’s a bit of a film buff himself.
Just kidding (I don’t have a great uncle Oscar)! I really did mean the Oscars! In fact, you should check out <a href="http://www.thejeffreys2012.com/">the Jeffreys,</a> which I hear are actually more credible and a million times better than
the Oscars now.</div>
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All in all, 2011 was a very weak year for movies. There were actually only two movies
this year that blew me away. And,
while there were some other films that were very good, most weren’t great,
four-star films.</div>
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Without further ado, here they are:<br />
<br />
<a name='more'></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u>JEFFREY THE GREAT’S TOP 10 FILMS OF 2011</u></b>:</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan; font-size: large;">10 (5-Way Tie). Beginners, The Descendants, The Girl
with the Dragon Tattoo, Hanna, Melancholia</span><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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You know what, I make this list, so I can do whatever I
want. If I want a five-way tie in
10<sup>th</sup> place, I can have a five-way tie in tenth! Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a
testament to how many good movies there were in twenty-eleven; this is a
testament to the fact that there weren’t
many great movies. All of the
movies in tenth place are good, but far from great.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-XtTZKAcQxFHmJ6rfFZftSb65QZXytCO1F12gUg0FEqyd8A-vAGMRdb950n6PX2kS1IGivb-UnGJjW3J_lDvAidEhNu7udUp7bNgNt_6VVZQlvwsvFo58gf76NnGKS4RgtwJ7XuPLGmkz/s1600/The_Descendants_1-620x386.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-XtTZKAcQxFHmJ6rfFZftSb65QZXytCO1F12gUg0FEqyd8A-vAGMRdb950n6PX2kS1IGivb-UnGJjW3J_lDvAidEhNu7udUp7bNgNt_6VVZQlvwsvFo58gf76NnGKS4RgtwJ7XuPLGmkz/s320/The_Descendants_1-620x386.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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I just realized that in all of these films, the mother
character is either dead, really mean (<i>Melancholia</i>),
or in a coma. I deem the tenth
place spot the Dead Mama Spot.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">9. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">The Ides of March</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Fun and smart, but far from perfect; last year this movie wouldn’t
have been in the Top 10, but this year it makes the cut thanks to a good,
well-paced script and solid acting from Ryan Gosling and George Clooney.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBSIcGB-xYSnmzi-QFqcUNl3IqpAB3FFxJ6-bnY2HE16mjyeMZzaYrPB6Wq0790_c669k3soGAFplc75phEiiP0c1Q_5865aHNn2nVNrp_WKUuB7XKuVbwzRb4d1tcCnUj_PpchuKrm1bq/s1600/ides-of-march.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBSIcGB-xYSnmzi-QFqcUNl3IqpAB3FFxJ6-bnY2HE16mjyeMZzaYrPB6Wq0790_c669k3soGAFplc75phEiiP0c1Q_5865aHNn2nVNrp_WKUuB7XKuVbwzRb4d1tcCnUj_PpchuKrm1bq/s320/ides-of-march.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan;">6-8 (3-Way Tie). Margin Call, Martha Marcy May Marlene,
Warrior</span><o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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I can have as many ties as I want and it’s a three-way tie
at number six. We’ve got a movie
about the start of the financial crisis, a movie about a girl living with her
sister after escaping a cult, and a movie about two brothers who are destined
to face one another in a mixed martial arts battle (it’s way better than it
sounds). These three films are all
worth seeing, though each may be better suited for different audiences. (Still, YOU should watch them all.)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjJ5Ac3EssoRaMNRPIN_3C_9icH65Uzo8aSBh6QT99A6XgFu-KyZnKAQzLgK_iTsGdYn1vCcTk3jo9J3__uuZJSXui9ZtlyN4TPHyocf0rDjdQHj0eK-vTpbFD3l6QVJrDdRMRU_b6mu55/s1600/Warrior+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjJ5Ac3EssoRaMNRPIN_3C_9icH65Uzo8aSBh6QT99A6XgFu-KyZnKAQzLgK_iTsGdYn1vCcTk3jo9J3__uuZJSXui9ZtlyN4TPHyocf0rDjdQHj0eK-vTpbFD3l6QVJrDdRMRU_b6mu55/s320/Warrior+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan; font-size: large;">5. Moneyball<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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It’s the best sports movie of the year. You don’t have to like baseball to appreciate
<i>Moneyball</i>, but it definitely
helps. Brad Pitt is very deserving
of his Best Actor nod and who knew that Jonah Hill could act.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLx2HHhUbrhkvC5wP7dVp4fxJLIHx5RmaT_9_g565X0pc58NjLC3U19KXTDJZWGoxcQQuE4-mexXuMrDOSDlIaTkQdmgd815GcfG77pt4pYhS0TM1BaIoZUBTzOzAHpurY9vHnUrTWB64D/s1600/moneyball_288x288.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLx2HHhUbrhkvC5wP7dVp4fxJLIHx5RmaT_9_g565X0pc58NjLC3U19KXTDJZWGoxcQQuE4-mexXuMrDOSDlIaTkQdmgd815GcfG77pt4pYhS0TM1BaIoZUBTzOzAHpurY9vHnUrTWB64D/s1600/moneyball_288x288.jpg" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan; font-size: large;">4. A Separation<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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This drama set in Iran about the, well, separation of a
married couple is by far the best foreign film of the year (that I’ve seen). If you don’t speak Persian, you’ll have
to read the subtitles, but unless someone is reading this to you (because it’s
so great that they felt the need to read it to an illiterate person), I know
you can do it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLn8S3KmqlJ_qCYdkaFZu-6UYUgw-hoOxMNRYM0QUA-965RIr0abwRtdQbzT9YSDsqShcwtr8T53zxk0w6ee0S9e7rFZubeYkNxUWVe0qY-MCt7BjBBKzRgKgmhANZbLtSw2zzZHzv691x/s1600/Nader-Simin_CB_SITE-450x297.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLn8S3KmqlJ_qCYdkaFZu-6UYUgw-hoOxMNRYM0QUA-965RIr0abwRtdQbzT9YSDsqShcwtr8T53zxk0w6ee0S9e7rFZubeYkNxUWVe0qY-MCt7BjBBKzRgKgmhANZbLtSw2zzZHzv691x/s320/Nader-Simin_CB_SITE-450x297.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan; font-size: large;">3. Midnight in Paris<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Does it mean that I’m a hipster alternative person because I
like this movie? Maybe it does,
but I think it does not. Paris +
Woody Allen + Magic = Midnight in Paris. I’ll take that!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd7RolDBZXpupq2Ik3pcJrfIPVkZByfpzor6G5QCPCJ7J0H1ays5dtK9V8MPJaw9qzsTqTa-zpkD6nncYakq6jdZ8Nvo83hBb88eG-QkUNQDu0YTCDlBDDPB9ezbJFbfQuJoptsi0_VOxD/s1600/Midnight-In-Paris-007.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjd7RolDBZXpupq2Ik3pcJrfIPVkZByfpzor6G5QCPCJ7J0H1ays5dtK9V8MPJaw9qzsTqTa-zpkD6nncYakq6jdZ8Nvo83hBb88eG-QkUNQDu0YTCDlBDDPB9ezbJFbfQuJoptsi0_VOxD/s320/Midnight-In-Paris-007.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan; font-size: large;">1a. The Artist<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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While there weren’t a lot of super duper movies this year,
there were two <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">fantastic</b> ones. I decided to rank them as 1 and 1a
since both of them are deserving of a top spot.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Vii6WIud_BR2TxXtrXh096TakxO5Iqxz-Ld55UpppkR3HRluoZmwbmCdYUGv6LTBP5N2eyL7mTyAJ1sxy8riJPjIUzXpvt5gJ0bEn6lK95EY-iMcXDqGWZCFTFeXsfVPMtilgx3gXr_C/s1600/levin_the+artist+still+615.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="193" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh6Vii6WIud_BR2TxXtrXh096TakxO5Iqxz-Ld55UpppkR3HRluoZmwbmCdYUGv6LTBP5N2eyL7mTyAJ1sxy8riJPjIUzXpvt5gJ0bEn6lK95EY-iMcXDqGWZCFTFeXsfVPMtilgx3gXr_C/s320/levin_the+artist+still+615.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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The Artist isn’t
just a phenomenal accomplishment (making a silent movie that works today), it’s
also a phenomenal movie. The story
itself is great, but it’s the acting that really makes the film. Also, there hasn’t been a movie in
years that has as many memorable individual scenes as this one. See it now! And see it in theatres if you can (otherwise you won’t get
the complete experience)!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx42KT-S0pmj7CC8Cnf4PdZ9X8ozDnFqAfdbQ518iaT6BTGrpUK5sq7uxoQJbVkB4RCOGd44LXp3wH6uSXe09nluhhDzEiQqLs1NCrPsuDVrLZwaA1XGLqMQV8AApnBG21nvncMOJUFKRU/s1600/cear-the-artist-h.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhx42KT-S0pmj7CC8Cnf4PdZ9X8ozDnFqAfdbQ518iaT6BTGrpUK5sq7uxoQJbVkB4RCOGd44LXp3wH6uSXe09nluhhDzEiQqLs1NCrPsuDVrLZwaA1XGLqMQV8AApnBG21nvncMOJUFKRU/s320/cear-the-artist-h.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: cyan; font-size: large;">1. Drive<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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Drive is a
masterpiece—a neo noir that stands out amongst other movies of the same
genre. It is, for lack of a better
word, mesmerizing, and has great acting, the best use of music in a film I’ve
ever seen, and amazing direction from Nicolas Winding Refn. After I saw it, I watched it again the
following day. Then I watched it
the day after that. Not kidding.<br />
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Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-33429513724609253352012-01-25T01:44:00.003-05:002013-01-22T21:15:04.527-05:00COMING UP WITH BETTER TITLES FOR THIS YEAR'S TOP FILMS<br />
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A good movie title sends people running (or driving) to
theatres while a bad title doesn’t entice people to turn off <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">CSI</i>, get off the couch, and leave the
house. (For example, I run to the theatre
to fork over $13 whenever a movie is released that has “Madea” in the title.) Some of the movies released this year
had titles that fit perfectly (<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Artist</i>,<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> Drive, Moneyball</i>), but others could’ve
done much better. Too bad they
didn’t ask me for advice before these movies were released.<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Movies and What
They Should’ve Been Titled<o:p></o:p></span></u></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Descendants </b>becomes <b>Coma Wife</b></span></div>
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A lot of couples went to see <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Descendants</i> thinking it would be a light comedy starring dreamy
George Clooney. Boy, were they in
for a surprise because <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Descendants</i>
is nothing like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Love Actually</i> or <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days</i>! In fact, it’s slow paced and depressing
and it centers on a man whose wife is in a coma; thus, the more appropriate
title: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Coma Wife</i>.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Extremely Loud &
Incredibly Close </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">becomes </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>Oscar, Please!</b></span></div>
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Extremely Bad & Incredibly Cliché is one possible title,
but it’s just too easy! With all
the emotional manipulation jam-packed into this one, let’s go with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Oscar, Please!,</i> since they were
basically begging for a Best Picture nomination when they made the film.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Midnight in Paris</b>
becomes <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Woody Loves Paris</b></span></div>
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Did you know Woody Allen loves Paris? I didn’t until I saw this movie, which
opens with over five minutes of various shots of Paris.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">War Horse</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> becomes
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Albert and Joey: The Heartwarming Tale
of a Boy and His Horse</b></span></div>
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If Lassie transformed into a horse, he would be Joey, the
“war horse”. Since <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">War Horse </i>is also as corny as an old
Lassie flick, it deserves a title that’s even dorkier than <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">War Horse </i>(even though that’s not really a good title either).<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Beginners</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> becomes
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Gay Father!</b></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Beginners</i>? The current title doesn’t give me any
insight into what the movie is going to be about—give me something, title
maker-uppers! Let’s cut to the
chase (because I don’t want to ever waste your time), the most memorable thing
about this film is Christopher Plummer as Ewan McGregor’s father who comes out
after his wife dies. So why not just
call it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Gay Father</i>? Throw in an exclamation point and BOOM,
the movie just made ten million dollars more at the box office.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Help</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> becomes </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I Sh*t in Your Pie</b></span></div>
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And apparently if you sh*t in a pie and act loud and sassy
you get a Best Supporting Actress nod.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Martha Marcy May
Marlene</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> becomes </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Cult Girl</b></span></div>
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The worst movie title of the year? (Possibly, because it’s so, so hard to remember.) Since all of the names in the title are
the same character, let’s just sum that character up with a single name: Cult Girl. This also lets people know in advance (if they haven’t seen
the trailer) that the movie involves a cult.</div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We Need to Talk About
Kevin</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> becomes </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We Should’ve Talked
About Kevin</b></span></div>
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They were too late.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Margin Call </b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">becomes
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Why You’re Poor</b></span></div>
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<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Margin Call</i> rhymes
with <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Moneyball</i> and this can be very
confusing.</div>
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EXAMPLE:</div>
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Man 1: Have you seen Margin Call?</div>
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Man 2: Oh, yes, Brad Pitt was very good in it.</div>
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Man 1: That’s Moneyball! I’m talking about Margin Call!</div>
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Man 2: Oh.</div>
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Also, many people do not even know what a margin call
is. My new title, <i>Why You're Poor</i>, causes people to
think: “Why am I poor? Maybe this
movie will tell me why. I will
watch it.” People who think in
such simple sentences will likely be confused by the movie though.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Warrior</b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> becomes </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">The Fighter on Steroids!</b></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Let’s call</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i>Warrior</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">what it really is,</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i>The Fighter</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">on ‘roids. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i>Warrior</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">is cooler, more entertaining, and way more badass than</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><i>The Fighter</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Let it be known and lose the super generic name!</span></b><br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></b></div>
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Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-45879834029316354412011-12-15T15:42:00.000-05:002012-02-03T02:29:17.658-05:00Top 10 People Who Should Run for President<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Everyone who knows me knows that one of my favorite things
in the whole wide world is politics (right after writing, football, making
movies, reading, fantasy football, editing, sports in general, the New York
Jets, New York City, traveling, listening to music, singing, drawing, my
friends & family, my girlfriend, animals, acting, dancing, going out, eating
good food, sleeping, watching TV, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Survivor</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">,
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Boardwalk Empire</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Homeland</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, playing basketball, watching
basketball (college, not NBA), </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Y: The
Last Man</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, graphic novels/comic books, Christopher Nolan movies (</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Memento</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Prestige</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Batman Begins</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">,
etc.), </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Jeffrey & Jennifer Show</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">,
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Jeff & The Bonch Show</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, “J.
Lobsta & Pneumonia”, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Battlestar
Galactica</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, monkeys, squirrels, cool posters, backgammon, checkers, poker,
working out, going on adventures, Darrelle Revis, talking on the phone, going
on walks, dogs, Facebook, YouTube, Rex Ryan, Netflix, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">American Pickers</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Price
is Right</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, pinball, and martial arts).</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"></span></div>
<a name='more'></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">One thing that I’ve heard about the 2012 election is that
there really aren’t any good candidates out there that have a real chance of beating Barack Obama (even though so many people are unhappy with the job Obama
has done). I watched some of the
Republican Primary debates and thought that they were pretty entertaining
(mostly for comedic value). Since
I like pizza, I was rooting for Herman Cain (because he used to run Godfather’s
Pizza), but apparently he is some sort of sex fiend.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu8_TZs9q9daNNAtq2zUb2x_VEK1DUoCO4WAs9jlGsJ056nWdba7qssqJ-94OuL2S-Z636q5YCJka5NPCp-T5wA56ARZ8ghFwEBpasavnOizawdBnChyphenhyphenV_l1VGskRaNOX5NiqEkyqDefO7/s1600/herman-cain-on-fox-460x307.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu8_TZs9q9daNNAtq2zUb2x_VEK1DUoCO4WAs9jlGsJ056nWdba7qssqJ-94OuL2S-Z636q5YCJka5NPCp-T5wA56ARZ8ghFwEBpasavnOizawdBnChyphenhyphenV_l1VGskRaNOX5NiqEkyqDefO7/s320/herman-cain-on-fox-460x307.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>This man likes pizza...and sexually harassing women.</i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Ben Franklin once said, “In order to have a good country, it
is important to have a good president.”
(Fun Fact: Before ultimately going to <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Tisch</i> and majoring in Dramatic Writing, I was going to be a history
major.)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have come up with this list of people who should run for
president. Unfortunately, some of
these individuals are dead or fictional, so they couldn’t really be
presidential candidates. That is
why this list is just for fun and has not been published on CNN.com.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8sBjL7gWWM_FV5Ie_RRGiDeX7T7NEoVq9tTc9Zp2TCdyjqUhGoQTrICEbUwebIc0HZdcaIU48TORYONYcxpCsoA5Le45sYlzq0NXz4SeAzukE-dEJctZvFMoRTYQlhNVsJ-ipP5OOL01e/s1600/PP32101-Joker-vote-for-me.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8sBjL7gWWM_FV5Ie_RRGiDeX7T7NEoVq9tTc9Zp2TCdyjqUhGoQTrICEbUwebIc0HZdcaIU48TORYONYcxpCsoA5Le45sYlzq0NXz4SeAzukE-dEJctZvFMoRTYQlhNVsJ-ipP5OOL01e/s320/PP32101-Joker-vote-for-me.jpg" width="212" /></a></div>
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<i>He didn't make the list.</i></div>
</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">TOP TEN PEOPLE WHO
SHOULD RUN FOR PRESIDENT</span></u></b><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><b><u><br /></u></b></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">10. REGIS</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I do not know much about Regis, only that he is a little old
man who had his own talk show for one hundred years. Also, he was the host of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Who
Wants to be a Millionaire</i>. As
of December 15, 2011, Regis is still alive and I am sure he is not doing much,
besides being in advertisements for TD Bank with an anorexic-looking woman
named Kelly Ripa. If Regis ran for
president, housewives would finally have a candidate that they’d go out and
vote for.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9U3V06bMM0yQnD4OGN88HC0IQ39AdKJ86QG8Z1p292P8TkJ4byXolJBMbAXLX-Zt_xk0rKcBd3BAC4cAHVVaPcLsFdket1HTV5efQSmCkVVJQ7pZgisRljMF0M9dBqJSHeDpEC1qzjsTd/s1600/regis%25284%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9U3V06bMM0yQnD4OGN88HC0IQ39AdKJ86QG8Z1p292P8TkJ4byXolJBMbAXLX-Zt_xk0rKcBd3BAC4cAHVVaPcLsFdket1HTV5efQSmCkVVJQ7pZgisRljMF0M9dBqJSHeDpEC1qzjsTd/s320/regis%25284%2529.jpg" width="241" /></a></div>
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<i>Who Wants to Vote for Regis?!</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">9. BEN FRANKLIN</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Many Americans actually think that Benjamin Franklin was once
president. (That is because
Americans do not value education.)
Even though he was never Commander in Chief, Benny Franklin has the
honor of being on the $100 bill, so people already associate him with something
that is good (money). Also working
in his favor: He was very smart and invented glasses and trapped lighting in a
bottle and discovered electricity.
Because of this, anyone who wears glasses or uses electricity would vote
for him.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUU1QHz851semzWYk5WfP_dmUT9ubQ808Equ0y_76YfvEHf_vFFMUvjtEkILkG_E0Pbc8_ClC3ye5krOp_MNsZ_s7T7EDFouJPWaK1d0xnoUsuIzp55FItshyTVGvfBK7mfsYeXwwRc31e/s1600/Benjamin-Franklin-U.S.-%2524100-bill.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUU1QHz851semzWYk5WfP_dmUT9ubQ808Equ0y_76YfvEHf_vFFMUvjtEkILkG_E0Pbc8_ClC3ye5krOp_MNsZ_s7T7EDFouJPWaK1d0xnoUsuIzp55FItshyTVGvfBK7mfsYeXwwRc31e/s320/Benjamin-Franklin-U.S.-%2524100-bill.jpg" width="312" /></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">It's all about the Benjamins!</span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">8. EMINEM</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Do you know what would make the debates one million-billion
times more entertaining? Rap
battles. Imagine if Eminem was up
there spitting rhymes and taking down Mitt Romney and Co. with some well
thought out raps. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Believe it or not, Eminem also has some very interesting insights
into America today.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Whether you
agree with him or not, you’ve got to admit that Slim calls it how he sees it.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcqxvT5bcmGlN-XmPyHc9-QNyE3sU3q5OFpvECOlpb6oBl71hOktyJCEkAXMT3lmi-t5V4RJdVN6lc64yNuIa3oMqHq_GFCQtxsDGIu_apIdd_5fH-ewITcC6Jz8-3UV66o7T2dFxkowQ_/s1600/eminem-2011.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcqxvT5bcmGlN-XmPyHc9-QNyE3sU3q5OFpvECOlpb6oBl71hOktyJCEkAXMT3lmi-t5V4RJdVN6lc64yNuIa3oMqHq_GFCQtxsDGIu_apIdd_5fH-ewITcC6Jz8-3UV66o7T2dFxkowQ_/s200/eminem-2011.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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<i>President Shady</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">7. HARRISON FORD</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I have seen the movie <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Air
Force One</i><i>, </i>in which Harrison Ford plays the president, and I am fairly
certain that if he really were the president, he would be exactly how he is in
the movie—100% badass. If you
haven’t seen the film, basically terrorists take over Air Force One, but
they’re messing with the wrong U.S. president (this isn’t Calvin Coolidge we’re
talking about)! Glenn Close plays
the vice president and she could be his V.P. in real life too.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOOvtOi4DG3N2fJQnc-Oasb_vAiChlCitzWvfNsFBnvRr0jHx8njnuxml2imQ34Dd7z3DfTZ132cr6M6C3pn0OMYiRxblSbk0m0IGnQMIBGszCN8ok-qR0NzlhP7WxHHD1a-8U8tnGDToh/s1600/air_force_one_movie_image_harrison_ford_01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOOvtOi4DG3N2fJQnc-Oasb_vAiChlCitzWvfNsFBnvRr0jHx8njnuxml2imQ34Dd7z3DfTZ132cr6M6C3pn0OMYiRxblSbk0m0IGnQMIBGszCN8ok-qR0NzlhP7WxHHD1a-8U8tnGDToh/s320/air_force_one_movie_image_harrison_ford_01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>"Get off my plane!"</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">6. ABRAHAM LINCOLN</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">No one knows how long Lincoln would’ve been president for if
he didn’t like going to the theatre.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">
</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Honest Abe is consistently ranked as one of the top U.S. presidents of
all time, so why not run again?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since he saved the
Union, he would obviously get a lot of votes.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Also, he is honest, chopped down a cherry tree, and lived in
a log cabin.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhUVkMEmVzfn32sFiWBsQ73oYnmR6TiTY51vkWhNjyy_bAVNpUk0bkgBrYj7LWLfl5igoA1MjF36y2Ya6mG1bZGSW96bpKIoLFQakNQ13jC1-n5tOQajDefxt-Qz_F9vDcjwWbWIEyQYPE/s1600/gardiner13.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhUVkMEmVzfn32sFiWBsQ73oYnmR6TiTY51vkWhNjyy_bAVNpUk0bkgBrYj7LWLfl5igoA1MjF36y2Ya6mG1bZGSW96bpKIoLFQakNQ13jC1-n5tOQajDefxt-Qz_F9vDcjwWbWIEyQYPE/s320/gardiner13.jpg" width="231" /></a></div>
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<i>"Vote Yourself a Farm" (Lincoln's actual campaign slogan)</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">5. MICKEY MOUSE<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Every year, Mickey Mouse already gets roughly 25% of all
votes.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">(This is because many people
want to vote and then say that they voted for Mickey Mouse because they think
that doing this is funny.)</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">But
what if Mickey Mouse was to run as an actual candidate?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Mickey is obviously for big business
(since he owns </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Disney</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">), but he is
loveable so liberals would also vote for him (sometimes he sort of scary
though).</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi66qlDiwR8Xam8Yap-Zok5EoH8kWWnJAFHV9uUfPejoImUjYuUfnqFLVTC4tgoJZxxzsfFTK82VXxgt8TLH4f-l_7vxCfjIphDIp2gzABqdDEsqvsbDUqxnMkC45v93QpfWqSjnb2Dx46s/s1600/10305moc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi66qlDiwR8Xam8Yap-Zok5EoH8kWWnJAFHV9uUfPejoImUjYuUfnqFLVTC4tgoJZxxzsfFTK82VXxgt8TLH4f-l_7vxCfjIphDIp2gzABqdDEsqvsbDUqxnMkC45v93QpfWqSjnb2Dx46s/s320/10305moc.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Put a mouse in the White House!</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. RAY LEWIS</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you want to have a strong country, you’ve got to have a
strong leader. And no world leader
would be physically stronger than Baltimore Ravens’ linebacker Ray Lewis. #52 would be able to intimidate other
nations into doing whatever he wanted them to do with nothing more than one of his
scary glances. Ray Lewis is also a
fantastic motivator—he’d be able to bring together a country that’s become very
divided.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVsDgtFTIt9YFi1l6D6JbQ67dHEE4sT8ZB5_niUgAcemyMEhCuP8xdFpR2kAdXZLPo1pqLZVdsGOZghkyRI8ZUF6zCFcQeICYzcbTveoTvjtFShFNPatqpq2Nr4z4tT3Qshk2qac2pNL18/s1600/211px-Ray-Lewis-2008-Steelers-regseason-game.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVsDgtFTIt9YFi1l6D6JbQ67dHEE4sT8ZB5_niUgAcemyMEhCuP8xdFpR2kAdXZLPo1pqLZVdsGOZghkyRI8ZUF6zCFcQeICYzcbTveoTvjtFShFNPatqpq2Nr4z4tT3Qshk2qac2pNL18/s1600/211px-Ray-Lewis-2008-Steelers-regseason-game.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>We will come together as a nation...or else.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. ANGELINA JOLIE</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">America should stop being sexist and elect a female
president. But, if we’re going to
do that, we might as well elect a woman who’s very good looking (sorry Hillary
Clinton). Angelina Jolie would definitely
add some attractiveness to the presidential debates. In fact, many people (men and lesbians) would not even
listen to what she was saying (but that is fine because what candidates say
doesn’t really matter since once they’re elected they just do whatever they
want).</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv3NvLbmdA8T5VQ2FHsUJF1D_r-KNQ11kx4nmFtCQEUkUM7Gh7aVm_9dOp59F24ROHctj2OoWEAYbmfYp6Fkrm6MvN_e2jZ3XO2gdmhrv35R8-9xmtdzVfuuGZvs_cnToneGxbjIWXvCfp/s1600/107mnunangelinajolieb400.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiv3NvLbmdA8T5VQ2FHsUJF1D_r-KNQ11kx4nmFtCQEUkUM7Gh7aVm_9dOp59F24ROHctj2OoWEAYbmfYp6Fkrm6MvN_e2jZ3XO2gdmhrv35R8-9xmtdzVfuuGZvs_cnToneGxbjIWXvCfp/s320/107mnunangelinajolieb400.jpg" width="221" /></a></div>
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<i>That acronym on her shirt means she's already involved in some sort of political thing.</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2. PROFESSOR X</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Scientists have proven that evolution is real and not a myth
created by liberal, religion-hating heathens. If we all evolved from monkeys, then it stands to reason
that we will soon evolve into something else. That something else will be mutants—people who have
different special powers. Many
Americans will be scared of mutants—who knows what they’ll do with their
amazing abilities? We need to
elect Professor X because he will greatly help the country with human-mutant
relations. Even though he is
a powerful mutant, Professor X is also very sympathetic to the human cause and
is not evil like Magneto.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsO3UiOAPAzQWctovJiiBn2iFgOOxLm3thIMwCUM69oIzqDHOggUcdRXXhyphenhyphen06h1R_R9kvS_hOV8Evll00ubJi4rmUGi7WTBBFL8PQ2K6xc3LJ8rtMQHV07LXY4eY5HYvFwqhSgl3OYaDlQ/s1600/marvel-encyclopedia-prof-x-1-50k.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="296" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsO3UiOAPAzQWctovJiiBn2iFgOOxLm3thIMwCUM69oIzqDHOggUcdRXXhyphenhyphen06h1R_R9kvS_hOV8Evll00ubJi4rmUGi7WTBBFL8PQ2K6xc3LJ8rtMQHV07LXY4eY5HYvFwqhSgl3OYaDlQ/s320/marvel-encyclopedia-prof-x-1-50k.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i>Apparently he also has a cat.</i></div>
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<i><br /></i></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">1. ALEX TREBEK</span></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">To host a show like <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Jeopardy</i> you’d have to be pretty smart.
(And even if you weren’t, you’d learn a lot of facts eventually.) Trebek is smooth and well-spoken, and if you’ve seen the show, then you know
that he is an expert at interacting with even the weirdest, most awkward people
in the country. Trebek just might
have all the answers to the questions the American people are asking.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>This candidate for President of the United States was once a game show host.</i></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBoEx1ofdpqfxn9DX1cMycuCAFstjLLkcndeN5gdW3mILuggzR1i5oiumaMPmD9GtIeCbipYweh9lRa5w86B1be1BD0OwIYuZpWHf5xmdwI2xVD4LyXGaZLD8XUcivIcvp_JjOIt6nLyK7/s1600/Alex-Trebek.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBoEx1ofdpqfxn9DX1cMycuCAFstjLLkcndeN5gdW3mILuggzR1i5oiumaMPmD9GtIeCbipYweh9lRa5w86B1be1BD0OwIYuZpWHf5xmdwI2xVD4LyXGaZLD8XUcivIcvp_JjOIt6nLyK7/s1600/Alex-Trebek.jpg" /></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Who is Alex Trebek?</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since Trebek is even older than he looks (he’s 71), he would
need a cool, young vice president.
For obvious reasons, I would be a perfect fit.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOZYwuqr39h7Px4Ksj882WHj9MxTqWhQvPNDmMu4L9Pl8t87SBag_Z10ym-qojn_qG5vPO7shp5i4YWzd-99lNc78U9NH9hY9tfsDYWsoCSM8u_Jipj_tpJvUzRB-vACvZuM5BDJ8BPiot/s1600/1323984001-92075.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOZYwuqr39h7Px4Ksj882WHj9MxTqWhQvPNDmMu4L9Pl8t87SBag_Z10ym-qojn_qG5vPO7shp5i4YWzd-99lNc78U9NH9hY9tfsDYWsoCSM8u_Jipj_tpJvUzRB-vACvZuM5BDJ8BPiot/s400/1323984001-92075.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Trebek & Sperber in 2012 would be a winning ticket.</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">So waste your vote on Alex Trebek and me in the next presidential election. You probably won't regret it.</span></div>
</div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-87059033854254380662011-11-21T16:43:00.002-05:002012-02-07T23:46:39.304-05:00The 30 Best Graphic Novels Ever<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">There are two types of people: people who can read and people who can look at pictures. Actually, there are three types of people because some people can both read and look at pictures. Graphic novels are good for the first two types, but if you can read AND see, then they're FANTASTIC for you! (Actually, I just realized that if you can't see, you can't read; unless, of course, you're reading brail. I am thinking about this too much now.)</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Many of the titles on this list aren't actually one-shot graphic novels. Sometimes I list an entire series (usually a series that's concluded, but twice I rank an ongoing series). Basically, whatever's the best of the best. (I made the list so I make the rules!) Enjoy!</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"></span><br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>30.) EX MACHINA, Volumes 1-10 (complete series), <i>by Brian K. Vaughan</i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>29.) SIN CITY, <i>by Frank Miller</i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>28.) WANTED, <i>by Mark Millar</i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>27.) ULTRA: SEVEN DAYS, <i>by The Luna Brothers</i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>26.) POWERS: WHO KILLED RETRO GIRL?, <i>by Brian Michael Bendis</i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>25.) FROM HELL, <i>by Alan Moore</i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>24.) THE NOBODY, <i>by Jeff Lemire</i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>23.) THE ULTIMATES, Volumes 1 & 2, <i>by Mark Millar</i> </b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>22.) WATCHMEN, <i>by Alan Moore</i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>21.) HELLBOY: SEED OF DESTRUCTION, <i>by Mike Mignola </i></b></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">20.) PRIDE OF BAGHDAD, <i>by Brian K. Vaughan</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The story of a pride of lions who escape from the Baghdad Zoo during the bombing of Baghdad.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtDxrKRV0A7zsQvLQfDcpj3dmruj10iIvZiohr6eFa7ZlBCprUVkSHOAkthwTSpf9jZxt2VKZCo33cPMQOHWS3rffPbj7bUk5UV5v6KS9nzfzRN5jC-PqHU7yjAFmysV-pU8xHtIVHVaDw/s1600/pride-bomber.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="246" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtDxrKRV0A7zsQvLQfDcpj3dmruj10iIvZiohr6eFa7ZlBCprUVkSHOAkthwTSpf9jZxt2VKZCo33cPMQOHWS3rffPbj7bUk5UV5v6KS9nzfzRN5jC-PqHU7yjAFmysV-pU8xHtIVHVaDw/s320/pride-bomber.jpeg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">19.) MARVEL 1602, <i>by Neil Gaiman</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The title is pretty accurate; it's Marvel heroes and villains in the year (you guessed it) 1602. Beautifully illustrated by Andy Kubert. You don't need a detailed understanding of the Marvel Universe to enjoy <i>1602</i>.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0VKOog5HcFIhHQ_Nufejt7PLWjRl-7bCvC0QaPputWM-G0wfrs7JNWT0Svx8Y2omDJXcU_ShebRD1oFChgjI-3XhS1EfBLD-Kd4iML0SEiJaT9zAB3Rset68ljDyT3wofNP0DSgDOJvXG/s1600/1602cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0VKOog5HcFIhHQ_Nufejt7PLWjRl-7bCvC0QaPputWM-G0wfrs7JNWT0Svx8Y2omDJXcU_ShebRD1oFChgjI-3XhS1EfBLD-Kd4iML0SEiJaT9zAB3Rset68ljDyT3wofNP0DSgDOJvXG/s320/1602cover.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">18.) PUNISHER "WELCOME BACK FRANK", <i>by Garth Ennis</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Hardcore. Nonstop action. Kick-ass. This is what the Punisher should be.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilfSkJ2G3idYi2ipKcBYKtw3dje_7R4JUFZGGGmkmeJTXuNd0F98EhYMd8PmzdZ4Aw6TFbjUV3U1fA3_5qP1hhdGrfuq8LSmFV972jVaIcG7ICmcZw2AmZfdIwosyJdTFClidfiQQsbuSZ/s1600/14868671_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilfSkJ2G3idYi2ipKcBYKtw3dje_7R4JUFZGGGmkmeJTXuNd0F98EhYMd8PmzdZ4Aw6TFbjUV3U1fA3_5qP1hhdGrfuq8LSmFV972jVaIcG7ICmcZw2AmZfdIwosyJdTFClidfiQQsbuSZ/s320/14868671_1.jpg" width="214" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">17.) BATMAN: HUSH, <i>by Jeph Loeb</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The best Batman story arc of the past decade, with mystery, romance (Batman & Catwoman), and just about every good Batman villain ever.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqTuoS-TPs79MBtgfZOKMtzCBeicp9AQ7IA6GCDzuFNfea-DiuqLQVkh_7P1lAeWu31H5vySHu-lrf0iNgRIIjonTkmTx7oZ-o3iCLgeLqmB8Fc35tU4UjK_5-KvnL4GUMP9jl7O0m5_lj/s1600/BatmanHush.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqTuoS-TPs79MBtgfZOKMtzCBeicp9AQ7IA6GCDzuFNfea-DiuqLQVkh_7P1lAeWu31H5vySHu-lrf0iNgRIIjonTkmTx7oZ-o3iCLgeLqmB8Fc35tU4UjK_5-KvnL4GUMP9jl7O0m5_lj/s320/BatmanHush.jpg" width="210" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">16.) DAREDEVIL: GUARDIAN DEVIL, <i>by Kevin Smith</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Daredevil has always sort of been Marvel's less cool version of Batman. Well, not here. <i>Guardian Devil</i> gives you a real feel and overview for the character and, by the time you've finished reading, you're a big Daredevil fan (or at least a big Kevin Smith Daredevil fan).</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS9cCeFf7-Qj-6BzsVQqK32L95MJPVNtEBw65ozyjjz5Pzc2IpZ7PYBWTSXXsRo-0sViLUrrmyUr2iiULip5WN3AB9t3vE_ScMugKPSConITw6ZfoAx4TcjpIZGjXGXvncsvSsfdmY27_9/s1600/marvel_daredevil210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="256" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgS9cCeFf7-Qj-6BzsVQqK32L95MJPVNtEBw65ozyjjz5Pzc2IpZ7PYBWTSXXsRo-0sViLUrrmyUr2iiULip5WN3AB9t3vE_ScMugKPSConITw6ZfoAx4TcjpIZGjXGXvncsvSsfdmY27_9/s320/marvel_daredevil210.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">15.) X-FORCE, Vol. 1 ("NEW BEGINNINGS") & 2 ("FINAL CHAPTER"), and X-STATIX, Vol. 1-4 (complete series), <i>by Peter Milligan</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Don't get confused by the different names, Milligan's run on X-Force led right into the X-Statix series. If satire is your thing, X-Statix is where it's at. Heroes are treated more like celebrities than superheroes in other comics and Milligan doesn't hesitate to kill characters off. There's a good deal of cynical political commentary weaved into the storylines.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTbciAk-9v_ztZisCtXQ46GvH6jKR9oCMfPPpZ3K0m0D2yOvB08mNFux7Fuw23IpLmW3-VrcYFLRU71ETsA7w__WeK3ShGLl-A2j_Xktp9Cu8Rqmmi1Um43PsDHWnCaHrKqFO9SQvhCpQx/s1600/X-statix_003.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTbciAk-9v_ztZisCtXQ46GvH6jKR9oCMfPPpZ3K0m0D2yOvB08mNFux7Fuw23IpLmW3-VrcYFLRU71ETsA7w__WeK3ShGLl-A2j_Xktp9Cu8Rqmmi1Um43PsDHWnCaHrKqFO9SQvhCpQx/s320/X-statix_003.gif" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">14.) MAUS: A SURVIVOR'S TALE, <i>by Art Spiegelman</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">A biography of Art Spiegelman's father, Vladek, concentrating on his life during the Holocaust, in which Jews are drawn as mice and Nazis are depicted as cats. <i>Maus</i> deservedly won a Pulitzer Prize and is widely recognized as one of the most influential graphic novels ever.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKvdsqocoIebrA0MZjHxtqkvnyzQtwKOQWEaG2bDUJk4pbBdco8hdg0bHlg7sfxJf_wuZxdhiT1MTkn81n219irVKWVhk6WSmkhRjl3n6BHRJaxBb0WBUC4oj-2TZVPuF6BvPUfS-VyuQm/s1600/250px-Maus.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKvdsqocoIebrA0MZjHxtqkvnyzQtwKOQWEaG2bDUJk4pbBdco8hdg0bHlg7sfxJf_wuZxdhiT1MTkn81n219irVKWVhk6WSmkhRjl3n6BHRJaxBb0WBUC4oj-2TZVPuF6BvPUfS-VyuQm/s320/250px-Maus.jpg" width="229" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">13.) KINGDOM COME, by <i>Mark Millar</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">A futuristic DC Comics superhero story where old heroes (like Superman and Batman) clash with new super-powered heroes and villains that are overrunning the world. The story is great, but Alex Ross' amazing painted illustrations make the graphic novel.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyeqWjE3ggjpTMyjMFBDtB724-5YvOrt2iP88r5BSJL6Aolq9eYE_0ayZ_NAMHsWWpMA8CC0bvqlo2QNnJ0bd-Xow-Bvk7uyAZOXrUn8Y6djX0z91OWWDNhUUjg3QyXdUSUsXJMgGqREk0/s1600/batman_dc_comics_superman_the_flash_alex_ross_kingdom_come_comic_hero_desktop_800x600_wallpaper-144026.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjyeqWjE3ggjpTMyjMFBDtB724-5YvOrt2iP88r5BSJL6Aolq9eYE_0ayZ_NAMHsWWpMA8CC0bvqlo2QNnJ0bd-Xow-Bvk7uyAZOXrUn8Y6djX0z91OWWDNhUUjg3QyXdUSUsXJMgGqREk0/s320/batman_dc_comics_superman_the_flash_alex_ross_kingdom_come_comic_hero_desktop_800x600_wallpaper-144026.jpeg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">12.) BATMAN: YEAR ONE, <i>by Frank Miller</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The best Batman origin story out there. <i>Year One</i> is told from the perspective of <i>Lieutenant</i> Gordon and twenty-five year old Bruce Wayne, who's just returned to Gotham City after years living abroad.</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Mdt8HPXQDpYPTFLUDvoKCsFUTox9lpuXve5QIxK4i7zzPu9iwO3ioSe9wz1WnRLpb_wyYa-Mwv_DJjN-2GGsVABJcoYfpz7n74dMlCAvM4_LsHJ-5lc6lpKn0H5Cs2HmPwPqUOXkcb2I/s1600/baby-flash-games-210.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh4Mdt8HPXQDpYPTFLUDvoKCsFUTox9lpuXve5QIxK4i7zzPu9iwO3ioSe9wz1WnRLpb_wyYa-Mwv_DJjN-2GGsVABJcoYfpz7n74dMlCAvM4_LsHJ-5lc6lpKn0H5Cs2HmPwPqUOXkcb2I/s320/baby-flash-games-210.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">11.) THE WALKING DEAD, Volumes 1-4 (ongoing series), <i>by Robert Kirkman</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Like the TV show? Well, the ongoing comic book series is better. And, while after a bit, the series starts to get a little repetitive, the first four collected editions are first-rate.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOyJb2baBrCYQT_BQQwpwKLIRc076p3ZuLeWhC3LBwt71f4ZMaCSCJWME-LHR5vPKA4nagELspenCSqaL37zqT5wkGJJa4Gh-VR2A_3dhoKiucljtjZYT4S8jd51v9s89Th72ezAPfSPkD/s1600/the-walking-dead-comic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="280" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOyJb2baBrCYQT_BQQwpwKLIRc076p3ZuLeWhC3LBwt71f4ZMaCSCJWME-LHR5vPKA4nagELspenCSqaL37zqT5wkGJJa4Gh-VR2A_3dhoKiucljtjZYT4S8jd51v9s89Th72ezAPfSPkD/s320/the-walking-dead-comic.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">10.) DC THE NEW FRONTIER, Volumes 1 & 2, <i>by Darwyn Cooke</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Set primarily in the 1950s, <i>The New Frontier </i>focuses on the emergence of new heroes (Silver Age heroes like the Flash and Martian Manhunter) during the Cold War. <i>Frontier</i> bridges the gap between the more light-hearted Golden Age of superheroes and the grittier, harsher Silver Age.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtJbcYBwHbtGVZJ1tYG6vtJ99UVANLsOQrVWvjPKkYmCL4AI-W5NWblgam_ci-Qk3ftpGjCaleYym_xmfikvqOYZt1DO0piJjEwkjkoXHx-gEps8SzHiJ60ZIS3ERPpQgJM-4msYjjfDxf/s1600/AbsoluteDCNewFrontierHC.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="249" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtJbcYBwHbtGVZJ1tYG6vtJ99UVANLsOQrVWvjPKkYmCL4AI-W5NWblgam_ci-Qk3ftpGjCaleYym_xmfikvqOYZt1DO0piJjEwkjkoXHx-gEps8SzHiJ60ZIS3ERPpQgJM-4msYjjfDxf/s320/AbsoluteDCNewFrontierHC.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">9.) BATMAN: THE LONG HALLOWEEN, <i>by Jeph Loeb</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">A fan of Christopher Nolan's Batman movies? <i>The Long Halloween</i> captures the same dark feeling as the films and is one of several graphic novels the movie draws from. An enthralling mystery that'll keep you guessing, <i>The Long Halloween</i> is actually the first graphic novel I ever read (on a plane to Disney World when I was a little kid) and it's still one of the best.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy538tqaPlfnHTJdg_KuE97FXsOSsiaIR09TeQNGpdHDsPV9aBa7__iuZKSimOiUSajA5k1fmGoBITbJ0zbl6frTY9ttQzTeNVU5hcRWIdlzj7gW-FKWov0gt2QoBXfa5RW3SoNogBzTaR/s1600/Batman-The-Long-Halloween-batman-5176776-1024-768.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy538tqaPlfnHTJdg_KuE97FXsOSsiaIR09TeQNGpdHDsPV9aBa7__iuZKSimOiUSajA5k1fmGoBITbJ0zbl6frTY9ttQzTeNVU5hcRWIdlzj7gW-FKWov0gt2QoBXfa5RW3SoNogBzTaR/s320/Batman-The-Long-Halloween-batman-5176776-1024-768.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">8.) THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN, Volumes 1 & 2, <i>by Alan Moore</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Alan Moore is a crazy person who lives in England. He has a homeless-person-beard and prays to a snake god. He is also a genius. Moore has written many critically acclaimed graphic novels, including <i>Watchmen</i>, <i>V for Vendetta</i>, <i>Batman: The Killing Joke</i>, and <i>From Hell</i>. Many of his comics, (including <i>The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen</i> ) have been made into movies, something that Moore is VERY adamantly against. And, after seeing the movie version of <i>League</i>, I can understand why. The movie is a piece of crap. Moore's graphic novels, however, are fantastic.</span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Alan Moore</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">If you haven't heard the premise of <i>League</i>, it's basically characters from different literary works (like Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll, and the Invisible Man) working together for the British government. <i>League</i> is intelligently written and the more famous literature you're familiar with, the more you'll be able to appreciate the two graphic novels.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2RB9lrXWFSQlaLzZU5F4p3DCG_qdKUaz5CAdY6a-ng11TbZGF7ojAm_gQy6SNGMgoU7dFx6vEvRZ5wLK4l7izm6d2KHRROiTrscibOrBJcETeGfr21dgCkPf8vDhVDs7c0WW2sLbAPHel/s1600/The_League_of_Extraordinary_Gentlemen_800x600.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2RB9lrXWFSQlaLzZU5F4p3DCG_qdKUaz5CAdY6a-ng11TbZGF7ojAm_gQy6SNGMgoU7dFx6vEvRZ5wLK4l7izm6d2KHRROiTrscibOrBJcETeGfr21dgCkPf8vDhVDs7c0WW2sLbAPHel/s320/The_League_of_Extraordinary_Gentlemen_800x600.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">7.) CRIMINAL, Volume 4: "Bad Night", <i>by Ed Brubaker</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Currently, there are five volumes of Brubaker's series, <i>Criminal</i>, but, even though all take place in the same city and some characters overlap, each story still stands alone. While the second and third graphic novels are very, very good, volume four, "Bad Night," is masterful. If dark, crime noir is your thing (or if reading something good is your thing) get this book NOW.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzgbMCWPQ7avHALbnJrpW9CUCVR1cwsietwX-S1E_kjzS_RjbJKu3Cs_WCIGvg10yDZ6ROuufC5BFk83y9cKFchRMnIZbfr4EGB-uc9YXqiadBCjPPwn_uoayD6Xkw-0uGywYEHAMkKy-0/s1600/NOV082430.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzgbMCWPQ7avHALbnJrpW9CUCVR1cwsietwX-S1E_kjzS_RjbJKu3Cs_WCIGvg10yDZ6ROuufC5BFk83y9cKFchRMnIZbfr4EGB-uc9YXqiadBCjPPwn_uoayD6Xkw-0uGywYEHAMkKy-0/s320/NOV082430.jpg" width="206" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">6.) FABLES, Volumes 1-15 (ongoing series), <i>by Bill Willingham</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The main idea behind <i>Fables</i>, that a group of fairytale characters are living in the real world, has been used (stolen) in both movies and television shows in recent years. None have come anywhere close to the quality of <i>Fables</i>, which successfully combines many genres, including adventure, romance, fantasy, and mystery.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiVT5azsIyz1pFgJwiLnbjJGbDrZK40wKb-DrO5pHPQidlBfeMoFXeZviWzJ34rzRTouXlLTh7N08oyiAsWH-FTnKKazMMbf-rw_2_STLz9fEKA4y8j2LIthLUpkHtPl4STe98LpSylLOy/s1600/Fables-Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiVT5azsIyz1pFgJwiLnbjJGbDrZK40wKb-DrO5pHPQidlBfeMoFXeZviWzJ34rzRTouXlLTh7N08oyiAsWH-FTnKKazMMbf-rw_2_STLz9fEKA4y8j2LIthLUpkHtPl4STe98LpSylLOy/s320/Fables-Cover.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">5.) THE SWORD, Volumes 1-4 (complete series), <i>by The Luna Brothers</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>The Sword</i> is the story of Dara Brighton and her quest for revenge against three siblings who murdered her parents. I really don't want to say much more than that because I feel like that first sentence already gave too much away. <i>The Sword</i> has fantasy elements in it (there's a magic sword), but takes place in the real world and is written in a way that anyone can enjoy (it's not super dorky like lots of fantasy books out there).</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkVtapjnjJMIsdTkuF68mPPBTUiUOyTzQPD3nHF70GcELYzal5MAfAdO6amf3iPtZLRpuXfOK3nFk23SjtG3CLY2PDDeijLqtx06o-oSaJJPqE9X4NyJNErHz0S9hwhtN_DvBa9tOiSLWb/s1600/Screen+shot+2011-11-21+at+3.07.52+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkVtapjnjJMIsdTkuF68mPPBTUiUOyTzQPD3nHF70GcELYzal5MAfAdO6amf3iPtZLRpuXfOK3nFk23SjtG3CLY2PDDeijLqtx06o-oSaJJPqE9X4NyJNErHz0S9hwhtN_DvBa9tOiSLWb/s320/Screen+shot+2011-11-21+at+3.07.52+PM.png" width="219" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">4.) INVINCIBLE, Volumes 1-14 (ongoing series),<i> by Robert Kirkman</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The problem with the DC and Marvel Universes is that there are so many writers writing so many different versions of characters that are appearing in so many different comic books that everything quickly becomes incredibly convoluted. (Characters like Wolverine and Batman are usually featured in 5+ books at any given time.) <i>Invincible</i> doesn't have such a problem since the story takes place in a universe run solely by its creator, Robert Kirkman.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3z9gguOB_1E43iDO_XDbMgRmYemKC-3R8jguncYPHfUQiPuQipzi4MO2am6U5d3ktcJ4j0JkVFPKLTmdzk3ucYqWQKt9yA81uygdNKeEfTIq6Pk2tg7_F-rydAQECeuXd-bY_7agA0UC5/s1600/Invincible+17.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3z9gguOB_1E43iDO_XDbMgRmYemKC-3R8jguncYPHfUQiPuQipzi4MO2am6U5d3ktcJ4j0JkVFPKLTmdzk3ucYqWQKt9yA81uygdNKeEfTIq6Pk2tg7_F-rydAQECeuXd-bY_7agA0UC5/s320/Invincible+17.jpg" width="314" /></span></a></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Invincible</i> is everything a super hero comic should be, with a good mix of action and character development; this is some damn fine storytelling. While the first two graphic novels are appropriate for all-ages, a startling revelation at the end of the third volume changes the entire tone of the series (for the better). It's here that the story really starts to gain momentum and it never slows down. Pick up <i>Invincible</i> over the JLA or Avengers any day; you won't regret it.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaRxn0clO0tEhtWCEEIjLV4IYFyLnNZrDDvi_tmvG95Iq2Egu_efQGcUMc5v4MAOIdJLtWWKT8Py9Txl7JrxYt3Zu007e05Z22e15Je6lp2avWRNsfnj78yvNXJyMXomGA3FSMZqf3Bn4F/s1600/invincible-credit-image-comics_480_poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="242" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiaRxn0clO0tEhtWCEEIjLV4IYFyLnNZrDDvi_tmvG95Iq2Egu_efQGcUMc5v4MAOIdJLtWWKT8Py9Txl7JrxYt3Zu007e05Z22e15Je6lp2avWRNsfnj78yvNXJyMXomGA3FSMZqf3Bn4F/s320/invincible-credit-image-comics_480_poster.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">3.) SUPERMAN: RED SON, <i>by Mark Millar</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">What if instead of landing in Smallville, Kansas, Superman's shuttle landed in the Ukraine? <i> Red Son </i>opens in the 1950s, with the Man of Steal finally making his presence known to the world, and continues into the early 2000s. Instead of fighting for truth, justice, and the American way, Superman fights for truth, justice, and Communism (under the guidance of Stalin). The most original (and best) Superman story ever told.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1QKY3nAgnpGmzGzQFAGfpElg5HUlzdlc_cpsvtwPkBhpuVrf_TzydLvLEnKVRUwhkuPpVbQd0lpZ7LuZt9AbPq2638T-3xlmr-1KlR1vAqoiyiw0IYuTghZCRAv1RU-bjqZJjheK7L_Fx/s1600/bgd-superman_red_son.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1QKY3nAgnpGmzGzQFAGfpElg5HUlzdlc_cpsvtwPkBhpuVrf_TzydLvLEnKVRUwhkuPpVbQd0lpZ7LuZt9AbPq2638T-3xlmr-1KlR1vAqoiyiw0IYuTghZCRAv1RU-bjqZJjheK7L_Fx/s320/bgd-superman_red_son.jpg" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">2.) SLEEPER, Volumes 1-4 (complete series), <i>by Ed Brubaker</i></span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Sleeper</i> is a neo-noir, thriller centering on Holden Carver, a secret agent so deep undercover in a criminal organization that he doesn't even know which side he's really on anymore. While characters do have superpowers, this is not your typical superhero comic. <i>Sleeper</i> is dark, gritty, and definitely not for the kids.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">1<b>.) Y: THE LAST MAN, Volumes 1-10 (complete series), <i>by Brian K. Vaughan</i></b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Yorick Brown is the only human male to survive a plague of unknown origins that kills every other mammal on the planet with a Y chromosome. (BOOM! I'm sold!) The only man left in a world of women, Yorick, along with government agent Agent 355, geneticist Dr. Allison Mann, and his pet (male!) monkey, journeys around the world in a quest to find out what killed all the men, how Yorick survived, and to find Yorick's girlfriend.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Y</i> is as thought-provoking as it is exciting. Vaughan had an original, intriguing idea for a story and he delivers 110%. I could sit down right now and re-read <i>Y: The Last Man </i>from start to finish. Then, I could pick it back up and read it again. It's that good.</span><br />
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</div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-84569313677194412382011-11-17T00:25:00.001-05:002012-02-05T23:30:14.840-05:00Jeffrey Finds Rare Geodes in the Attic<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If you follow the news, then you surely know that a man found $500,000 worth of rare coins in an abandoned storage unit he bid on and won for $1,100. The auction was run by American Auctioneers, the company featured in A&E’s </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><i>Storage Wars</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">, a show in which obnoxious people bid on the lockers of other people who, for one reason or another, have failed to pay their storage fees. (Go pay your storage fees, everyone!) Unfortunately, cameras were not rolling during this auction. Still, this story got me thinking: Who knows where rare treasures are hiding?</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">In my attic, I found the following bag: </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I knew from the handwriting on the bag that this wasn’t candy, so I didn’t try to eat one of the geodes. I was very excited to crack open one of the little rocks to find the crystals inside!</span></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Before they're cracked open, geodes look like bonbons (or normal rocks).</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I was so excited to open up one of the geodes and find the crystals that I didn't read any of the instructions about putting the geodes in a sock. I also couldn't find a hammer.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, the first geode I smashed open was one of the 10% of geodes that don't have any crystals. The second geode that I tried to open exploded into a million pieces since I hit it too hard with my mallet.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I tried to be more gentle with the next geode. This did not go too well, but this geode did actually have rare crystals in it! It was at this point that I realized that shards of flying geode could hit and damage my computer (which I was filming with). I went and found a hammer.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I guess that's why they tell you to put the geode in a sock first.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's a picture of the the crystals up close:</span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYcMWeOXRx8h9bq8Se6yVHIMc0CMaVhF-cLg7ZTvPXLUkZspvd77re7kDAo5so5_zPWsbYibdO0RYw-XkCKaEEdRJXnCtSAtepzr9YCuDbY7elCcJPPBGa0XBRwHe8yBkTjAzbW30T-E4G/s1600/P1000985.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYcMWeOXRx8h9bq8Se6yVHIMc0CMaVhF-cLg7ZTvPXLUkZspvd77re7kDAo5so5_zPWsbYibdO0RYw-XkCKaEEdRJXnCtSAtepzr9YCuDbY7elCcJPPBGa0XBRwHe8yBkTjAzbW30T-E4G/s320/P1000985.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I'm going to have to get these appraised.</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">If anyone wants to buy one of these rare geodes from the mountains of Mexico, let me know (I have five left). I will not sell them to you if you are a child though since I do not think opening them is very safe (even for an adult like me).</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Good luck finding your own treasures, everyone!</span></div>
</div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-50138182215724284112011-10-20T14:50:00.001-04:002011-10-20T21:02:19.297-04:0012 GREAT HALLOWEEN COSTUMES!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Do you know what holiday is on October 31st? No, it's not Easter. No, it's not Arbor Day either. Yes, that's right! It's Halloween!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Halloween is actually my third favorite holiday, after Thanksgiving and my birthday (which is like a holiday). On Halloween, when you're a child, you get to dress up in a costume and walk around your neighborhood and get candy. When you're older, Halloween is still fun because you can put on a costume and go to a bar and drink excessively. (Unless you have kids, then you should walk around the neighborhood with them; I do not condone bad parenting.)<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">So, what should you be for Halloween this year? You want to have the best costume out of all your friends, don't you? (Rhetorical question; do not answer.) Luckily for you, I have compiled this list of 12 GREAT Halloween costumes. Since the word "great" is written in all caps, you know I mean business.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Without further ado...<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>12. GHOUL<o:p></o:p></u></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Halloween is a celebration of the birth of the devil. We dress up in costumes so that the devil cannot recognize us and drag us down to Hell. What better way to disguise yourself than to dress up as a ghoul? A ghoul is a monster that lives in the sewers and eats people. It has green skin and is very scary.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If you don't want to be something frightening, dress up as someone who brings people joy-- a court jester! Long before we were born, jesters entertained kings and queens with silly antics.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>10. PERSON WITH PINK HAIR<o:p></o:p></u></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">You don't want to wear a full costume? That's fine. You can wear a colorful wig instead. Wigs are great because they make you look a little bit different, but you also still look mostly the same.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMpjzVidbE0FCNPzXGzniUQZV8SYwN_EaEzj2UR3qDctngOdxzC4ETwpMYY125DpucAEozW4Zot8RGNH_mHcPxQTXTBsYFk3QbQxjBcsD_LTjfVb6iSXheBx_PSSLG70vQm_PzEH-y8NvJ/s1600/P1000873.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMpjzVidbE0FCNPzXGzniUQZV8SYwN_EaEzj2UR3qDctngOdxzC4ETwpMYY125DpucAEozW4Zot8RGNH_mHcPxQTXTBsYFk3QbQxjBcsD_LTjfVb6iSXheBx_PSSLG70vQm_PzEH-y8NvJ/s400/P1000873.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>This man looks like he is from the group Twisted Sister.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>9. OBNOXIOUS SHIRT<o:p></o:p></u></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Oh, so you want to be one of <i>those</i> people? You think you're so cool in your shirt with something snarky written on it. Well, you're probably not very cool. However, if you can pull it off, people will be very impressed.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0098lGxfPqahS56tXN851ad_OmsSxkUgyfVLdYacYuLVnmRHCyS8NpSHhVZZSyHLZDL-bbc9l61l059IU0HPY6r-6qWfQ91s8P219RgoRjftpZFX54xlfizNCR3o7zqiNoBiwMbYIhkbD/s1600/P1000885.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0098lGxfPqahS56tXN851ad_OmsSxkUgyfVLdYacYuLVnmRHCyS8NpSHhVZZSyHLZDL-bbc9l61l059IU0HPY6r-6qWfQ91s8P219RgoRjftpZFX54xlfizNCR3o7zqiNoBiwMbYIhkbD/s400/P1000885.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i><span style="font-family: Arial;">She can pull off this "I'm Too Sexy For This Shirt" T-shirt. I am very impressed.</span></i></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>8. SEXY BUNNY<o:p></o:p></u></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Are you a slutty girl? If you are (or if you wish you were), then a sexy bunny is what you should be. You could be a sexy (insert any type of animal), but the bunny is a classic.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYa5iM5SJCJ43UbBrvDD3doYQQl-Ndwy2sMeKACXHuIZT6aDzelmetQ9cPozpnY2Mu3QwvgKPYs23gpNEu_zJPtPidk1tVGYK5dU4mQ9INXgTkYmFFi5CQx33r03IXDrIIUUL8CekeXcEI/s1600/P1000875.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYa5iM5SJCJ43UbBrvDD3doYQQl-Ndwy2sMeKACXHuIZT6aDzelmetQ9cPozpnY2Mu3QwvgKPYs23gpNEu_zJPtPidk1tVGYK5dU4mQ9INXgTkYmFFi5CQx33r03IXDrIIUUL8CekeXcEI/s400/P1000875.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>Apparently, this is my sexy face.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><u><b>7. SPORTS STAR</b></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If you're a big sports fan, show it! Dress up like your favorite athlete! This costume is easy since you just get your favorite jersey out of the closet and put it on (so it's also sort of not a real costume).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_D3_72_EgYp1q0u9r6bek3WpG4Joi248JPw3g7t_mVbL9711MxQ67Rxo8XbMiyqVMOoO063wLntudFhiEbAz-9cDhmBpYwNrj3rR0-eBunnX8vrMt5cbP0MjgKBrGawrB9h76u_WHLCK/s1600/P1000907.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgC_D3_72_EgYp1q0u9r6bek3WpG4Joi248JPw3g7t_mVbL9711MxQ67Rxo8XbMiyqVMOoO063wLntudFhiEbAz-9cDhmBpYwNrj3rR0-eBunnX8vrMt5cbP0MjgKBrGawrB9h76u_WHLCK/s400/P1000907.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>Curtis Martin's #1 Fan.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><u><b>6. SUPERMAN/SUPERGIRL</b></u></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">We're going to see a lot of Batmans this year and probably a bunch of Iron Mans, Jokers, and Captain Americas. So, if you want to be a comic book character, why not be different and dress as the world's strongest hero: Superman! If you're female, don't worry, you can still put on a red cape and be Supergirl!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2CU9cVvr41Q_XOHkXj2VCiQjCSUZWm7Fg3doIdbYj7d2EHBzuZMBEbDXVgkU7Y5AJ-MCPGE5nnngdm8_lnR5mkudBeNTW2mCg8f4E9mLQEzyFhRVJX5v1aWEmNAtPfbQtDHSlhUzEeqqD/s1600/P1000888.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2CU9cVvr41Q_XOHkXj2VCiQjCSUZWm7Fg3doIdbYj7d2EHBzuZMBEbDXVgkU7Y5AJ-MCPGE5nnngdm8_lnR5mkudBeNTW2mCg8f4E9mLQEzyFhRVJX5v1aWEmNAtPfbQtDHSlhUzEeqqD/s400/P1000888.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><i>It's a bird, it's a plane, it's Supergirl! (Samantha does not want to be Superdog.)</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>5. M&M</u></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">The M&M costume was BIG years ago. Now, it's cool again! You might have one of these costumes in your attic from when you were a kid, so just get it out and put it on.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhKaIMy8M63iHOwUX1CqbwHjQ1Tagh42stSapcDbIZApmPqbXLzYU4m-Xdn0_6HepKtlBZ1jy8wL1g1Bw6f-qML81Xhybhf695MOZwJnq06C1cYgM27PDZU_SptFIVlkHYF2nTqb8LeeZU/s1600/P1000870.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhhKaIMy8M63iHOwUX1CqbwHjQ1Tagh42stSapcDbIZApmPqbXLzYU4m-Xdn0_6HepKtlBZ1jy8wL1g1Bw6f-qML81Xhybhf695MOZwJnq06C1cYgM27PDZU_SptFIVlkHYF2nTqb8LeeZU/s400/P1000870.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>This costume was made for a child, so it is much too small.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>4. THE DEVIL</u></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">Dress up like the devil himself and scare all of your friends! All you need is this special hat that gives you devil horns and big, scary devil eyes.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2NA9WH6AkJ0PVzvIXtjdgPHYhO4mJNQWgjH-TjOvNEgo83oWciECVAMHLQ1X-1zKB5kELsko9SG9SuEHNjFaWRoC4diRoAVuk-izST_92X9YlXZKXKDZVi3D2fO4lHsP59JRFaEv8nhVG/s1600/P1000903.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2NA9WH6AkJ0PVzvIXtjdgPHYhO4mJNQWgjH-TjOvNEgo83oWciECVAMHLQ1X-1zKB5kELsko9SG9SuEHNjFaWRoC4diRoAVuk-izST_92X9YlXZKXKDZVi3D2fO4lHsP59JRFaEv8nhVG/s400/P1000903.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>He's terrifying!</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;">3. PUMPKIN</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If you have lots of orange felt lying around and are crafty, you can make your own Halloween costume. Making your own costume is always a good idea because then you don't run the risk of being at a party where someone is wearing the same costume as you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ9V_bCh9B3Xga893uC5N5XPL-obgz6jBAyZKE0K1EQaLORKmR_NGy6QT-9onyk2MsS1wEUh9UzeB6q0f87vJdXhHSjBkaYqjwOU5ZWzDz8Mp72hWWjfoTxn1QEVgAlh000-kqCymKPZ5F/s1600/P1000865.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJ9V_bCh9B3Xga893uC5N5XPL-obgz6jBAyZKE0K1EQaLORKmR_NGy6QT-9onyk2MsS1wEUh9UzeB6q0f87vJdXhHSjBkaYqjwOU5ZWzDz8Mp72hWWjfoTxn1QEVgAlh000-kqCymKPZ5F/s400/P1000865.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><i>That pumpkin actually looks pretty scary.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>2. ASTRONAUT</u></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">If you are rich, you can buy a very expensive astronaut jacket that will make you look like an astronaut. Soon, astronauts will be going to Mars, the "Red Planet". You can lie to people and tell them that you are one of these astronauts. If they are slow, then they will believe you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjofpf7PCzv_rIWYC7F1p-DFYeMh2vehybglm7IL7aMFKGIMAfgASqe4OHKG4dGNFDd6WjRQg4r6oVXQjQcufkqX6jF4Y0WibH1rUYOnmZbip2R0pNLSVZ_R6TrKjH_dAquEaa6jmgFzRss/s1600/P1000914.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjofpf7PCzv_rIWYC7F1p-DFYeMh2vehybglm7IL7aMFKGIMAfgASqe4OHKG4dGNFDd6WjRQg4r6oVXQjQcufkqX6jF4Y0WibH1rUYOnmZbip2R0pNLSVZ_R6TrKjH_dAquEaa6jmgFzRss/s400/P1000914.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>They sent a dog into space once, but it died.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdXgUlBoUTyLWyahqG0F4K8WnW1bVPddQXiVQ0D4oV31Mw_VchdWQnjGaUAug3VHea0_UVaSYUSqXcKIk80IexSmWMmxUk1qahvKtz_SxnUyKiem6ViL-r49IcEo337JePPAoprPRUAvIK/s1600/P1000920.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdXgUlBoUTyLWyahqG0F4K8WnW1bVPddQXiVQ0D4oV31Mw_VchdWQnjGaUAug3VHea0_UVaSYUSqXcKIk80IexSmWMmxUk1qahvKtz_SxnUyKiem6ViL-r49IcEo337JePPAoprPRUAvIK/s400/P1000920.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>"Please don't send me into space."</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-family: 'Courier New', Courier, monospace; font-size: x-large;"><b><u>1. SERIAL KILLER</u></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;">First there was Freddy, Jason, and Michael Myers. Now, there's you!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial;">I got this mask at Jack's Dollar Store (I think that's what it's called) by Penn Station. I was not looking for a mask at the time (since I plan on being someone from the 1920s for Halloween and do not need one), but since the mask was so scary and cheap ($1!), I couldn't resist . (I also got 10 Tootsie Rolls for a dollar at Jack's-- it was a good dollar store.) In honor of where I got the mask, let's name this serial killer Jack Penn. Jack Penn is very scary.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ0UGV1CtnI2oBokfzqNIuUeoDcHxEpQXF9S8qU4zOdvnwy5d70wqivphgH-Hq6AWiMKdmkapMx8VDv9Qt20hmz4qWC-fiEifpUOvxhfhBwZx89uTe5R6ivNTnfVK-csCEhTiU6Mha8yk-/s1600/P1000860.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjJ0UGV1CtnI2oBokfzqNIuUeoDcHxEpQXF9S8qU4zOdvnwy5d70wqivphgH-Hq6AWiMKdmkapMx8VDv9Qt20hmz4qWC-fiEifpUOvxhfhBwZx89uTe5R6ivNTnfVK-csCEhTiU6Mha8yk-/s400/P1000860.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">RUN! Jack Penn is coming for you!</span></i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmdsrEFm23YT91kSTTUbJm4nobgefzLUuOMQZoF41V4enQMLWsPmTfVokQfyKvgSxzsrir3vTtTwCFheoL4tJou-t0FoiAdBQzj33RWBWUJTmw9J8Jcvg3US68lc3sCcQDmu6YCDJQdvV/s1600/P1000857.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiWmdsrEFm23YT91kSTTUbJm4nobgefzLUuOMQZoF41V4enQMLWsPmTfVokQfyKvgSxzsrir3vTtTwCFheoL4tJou-t0FoiAdBQzj33RWBWUJTmw9J8Jcvg3US68lc3sCcQDmu6YCDJQdvV/s400/P1000857.JPG" width="400" /></a></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i>Get out your mallet and you've completed the look.</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><i><br />
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</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000;"><b>HAPPY HALLOWEEN, EVERYONE!</b></span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-autospace: none;"><span style="font-family: Arial;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000;"><b>-JTG!!</b></span></span></div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-58987989976674918102011-09-28T14:51:00.004-04:002011-10-19T02:45:04.195-04:002014 Super Bowl Logo Revealed! A Look at Old SB Logos and a Review of the New One!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">The logo for the 2014 Super Bowl, which will be played at MetLife Stadium (home of the Jets & Giants), was revealed today. Before we get to our review of the logo, let's take a look back at some Super Bowl logos of seasons past.</span><br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">THE ORIGINAL: SUPER BOWL I</span></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZsnWIo_XkZVYgfV1tLDD-nmfMYCAkKe9f1_2avmMgYaF3e3G6wqdrQsD42HrpCHSInele30SFz5Wm4FHEptFM8S3zX7hPW1Y7FM-v8htb35r58OSQIZuSEL5ZbZCqfYyYIyPLwfCg667/s1600/1t7j93hd7s4230npj98nufvwz.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="113" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJZsnWIo_XkZVYgfV1tLDD-nmfMYCAkKe9f1_2avmMgYaF3e3G6wqdrQsD42HrpCHSInele30SFz5Wm4FHEptFM8S3zX7hPW1Y7FM-v8htb35r58OSQIZuSEL5ZbZCqfYyYIyPLwfCg667/s320/1t7j93hd7s4230npj98nufvwz.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">FLASHBACK: 1967</span></i></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>MORRIS</b>: What in tarnation is this Super Bowl thing I keep hearing about?</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>HARRY</b>: I don't know.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>MORRIS</b>: Oh, look, here's a picture of the logo. Seems like it's the "First World Championship Game".</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>HARRY</b>: What an informative logo!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b>MORRIS</b>: It sure is! I would love to watch the game, but I have just been drafted into the Vietnam War.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Since the bland Super Bowl I logo (which is really more of a sentence), the NFL has used a variety of different types of logos. Let's take a look at a few!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">BOWLING ALLEY</span></b>: Super Bowl is a chain of popular bowling alleys.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizaUGkEAxcZikE_uV6e20C-elnGogM6XGt8IX5YwOsp26Rgkr-oK4JAmrQI4t8v7t2pwYDsZehiB52fVDO4IsbNOcz_HTZyGHd2ENZOv6JaH8Dfxmh93zVTkW7jTkppcG5xsgbe1sovEIG/s1600/y6tlhghf5tlle1g637w7dh7b3.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="49" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizaUGkEAxcZikE_uV6e20C-elnGogM6XGt8IX5YwOsp26Rgkr-oK4JAmrQI4t8v7t2pwYDsZehiB52fVDO4IsbNOcz_HTZyGHd2ENZOv6JaH8Dfxmh93zVTkW7jTkppcG5xsgbe1sovEIG/s320/y6tlhghf5tlle1g637w7dh7b3.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3C6K7qpjYrfvO81akfjn-WQKthTZi8BiVfP3pKOkgLLssmapPmiIIq22_u1qyL84ByNy-R3Vo6GsLh8UVkZwXtdbtn-2rXav990SoF-jh6TZxGI2-Ompo8lBMTSHRwhZSfj4bDGcSW9Zc/s1600/hjtxyvv1ge5beg7wr43ubuod0.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="59" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3C6K7qpjYrfvO81akfjn-WQKthTZi8BiVfP3pKOkgLLssmapPmiIIq22_u1qyL84ByNy-R3Vo6GsLh8UVkZwXtdbtn-2rXav990SoF-jh6TZxGI2-Ompo8lBMTSHRwhZSfj4bDGcSW9Zc/s320/hjtxyvv1ge5beg7wr43ubuod0.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpdwMfY5z7UAPbxq6lsazH37F0DLPeG93BmkFFKjrcfI88_M6kKksyFOcXS5xHNOJR7rlQ2aCcuNzx3PWzkCaEJighhmq0cj6gva7yDt3rGTdhdlcNRQsfUNVrxSM52yXvXBHoF6ED01oK/s1600/2368.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="143" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpdwMfY5z7UAPbxq6lsazH37F0DLPeG93BmkFFKjrcfI88_M6kKksyFOcXS5xHNOJR7rlQ2aCcuNzx3PWzkCaEJighhmq0cj6gva7yDt3rGTdhdlcNRQsfUNVrxSM52yXvXBHoF6ED01oK/s320/2368.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i>"I've been to Super Bowl II in New Brunswick. I can't wait to go to Super Bowl VII in Detroit. I'm going to bowl a strike!"</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">DINERS</span></b>: The Super Bowl Diner chain is known for its famous tomato soup. You can get a bowl of it for just $1.95, but the delicious, filling "super bowl" will cost you $4.50!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8vm34vdGVuhkn3vF6rdesUV8PllkNh-GT6kMq0DLCl9Zm6m7HS9yfRNCTWSyF0u3makaCZyVjgqkoCHZu4v2zSbw1C_IVv6TDDTWzw8UF2YToh3-ZEJ65Ar-SVabfRfUc79n6ldsHnm9T/s1600/2363.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="134" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8vm34vdGVuhkn3vF6rdesUV8PllkNh-GT6kMq0DLCl9Zm6m7HS9yfRNCTWSyF0u3makaCZyVjgqkoCHZu4v2zSbw1C_IVv6TDDTWzw8UF2YToh3-ZEJ65Ar-SVabfRfUc79n6ldsHnm9T/s200/2363.gif" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmxAubbXfYugFVUtE5JQsksjuUMEaZfkFV2i7Vc8qV_lZfeMuLiP_jPsXxBmxheT52_xmdijx5bxwnhsn-lcQ3aykEmbIyEfFWiekFNwqKcqWSPtjqRidMZoTmJYVCbIT_ny8A_-nPBcQ_/s1600/2362.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="159" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmxAubbXfYugFVUtE5JQsksjuUMEaZfkFV2i7Vc8qV_lZfeMuLiP_jPsXxBmxheT52_xmdijx5bxwnhsn-lcQ3aykEmbIyEfFWiekFNwqKcqWSPtjqRidMZoTmJYVCbIT_ny8A_-nPBcQ_/s200/2362.gif" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM0zEqcHKwcj9P9LcD3HIUw5C2rpELFFT9I7duKK5sMnzeFvjo8mLQsrVXFWiWF9sAVvnX-HryU2OZ0slug5WmWLqJ8nyoC3IkbRkF7vHCuXODyfKiET_u38ZnivcnE3_h86ohT_YvJPzX/s1600/2349.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="130" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiM0zEqcHKwcj9P9LcD3HIUw5C2rpELFFT9I7duKK5sMnzeFvjo8mLQsrVXFWiWF9sAVvnX-HryU2OZ0slug5WmWLqJ8nyoC3IkbRkF7vHCuXODyfKiET_u38ZnivcnE3_h86ohT_YvJPzX/s200/2349.gif" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>You can find Super Bowl diners throughout New Jersey!</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>SLOT MACHINES</b></span>: Super Bowl Slots is the leader in new, exciting slot machines. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEMaHd65JBt5ldvmGeQndEVtM8vo8KyxvsEipElOTj2EdIalDraRDgHHm0eHWAFo79keqj7fnr8VbeMeby-qIslA8eFnth2TVJeJhquCs7diP_uI403MhTwrmVSskTLZ8ygVwnzox2EQ_g/s1600/2352.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEMaHd65JBt5ldvmGeQndEVtM8vo8KyxvsEipElOTj2EdIalDraRDgHHm0eHWAFo79keqj7fnr8VbeMeby-qIslA8eFnth2TVJeJhquCs7diP_uI403MhTwrmVSskTLZ8ygVwnzox2EQ_g/s200/2352.gif" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4HbDCBBCOhAHtQOsWeT-fUS9NV-xOCOpQz1pJvRhAgJiS4VlLndPfQeC7AsEBx5OaJnRb9VfnUt6bekiFuRSg_iW6j1Ua22tM_khhM9M9lDlor79e6IMALJNNZx0M_EXSaDSeEMdnc0Zn/s1600/2350.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="148" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4HbDCBBCOhAHtQOsWeT-fUS9NV-xOCOpQz1pJvRhAgJiS4VlLndPfQeC7AsEBx5OaJnRb9VfnUt6bekiFuRSg_iW6j1Ua22tM_khhM9M9lDlor79e6IMALJNNZx0M_EXSaDSeEMdnc0Zn/s200/2350.gif" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Jackpot, bitches!</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b>WACKY ROMAN NUMERALS</b></span>: Roman numerals can be so boring. For these two years, logo designers took trying to make them look cooler too far.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_uDvK7Il9VduDyO7C8Hze95n-5NDXAm46F2tKovZ8_ihUd4Te5ePG6LDDe7ifX2gdmwKuaBUzlBjvO22gUem3C4z5i-cUlp33_6MGe31muOju86V0natltMwjfWfEHS-cLfsDfKbJP3Xu/s1600/2fr6ny75lwf5n8sh3zng77b7t.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_uDvK7Il9VduDyO7C8Hze95n-5NDXAm46F2tKovZ8_ihUd4Te5ePG6LDDe7ifX2gdmwKuaBUzlBjvO22gUem3C4z5i-cUlp33_6MGe31muOju86V0natltMwjfWfEHS-cLfsDfKbJP3Xu/s320/2fr6ny75lwf5n8sh3zng77b7t.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiD4S-yTgjS6Y02s5AIR4kV46-mDWgc6SUW3zgO4F87pJb6CPsv5EI1mfM4zVGLu7ysq-YlGJLh0ewYqYUMiww9fna-Z2TYUVa_6lGf7iG7erc6ZLYtz1mCxC8J_tWrSI_em3ycIEPFyxa/s1600/mltag1h443hb1ewphfvembcgf.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="124" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiD4S-yTgjS6Y02s5AIR4kV46-mDWgc6SUW3zgO4F87pJb6CPsv5EI1mfM4zVGLu7ysq-YlGJLh0ewYqYUMiww9fna-Z2TYUVa_6lGf7iG7erc6ZLYtz1mCxC8J_tWrSI_em3ycIEPFyxa/s320/mltag1h443hb1ewphfvembcgf.gif" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Really</i>?</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">LOCATION LOGOS</span></b>: At some point, the NFL ran out of fonts, so they decided to incorporate the Super Bowl host city/venue into the logo. See if you can guess where these Super Bowls were played based on the images.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlgqIfGIAS2nC3tcHRqQlHg-XbpVx6DkcfEO1WhaAHTXLUZTVrZkkMXPHkn-L4YN7pMSOO-VAAcTeI0KEaoHE2-QGFu5k0qRJakPnabQwY3F2eXkNQbjgez2Ms9HLBhKKH5_meHsJOTzdk/s1600/2354.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlgqIfGIAS2nC3tcHRqQlHg-XbpVx6DkcfEO1WhaAHTXLUZTVrZkkMXPHkn-L4YN7pMSOO-VAAcTeI0KEaoHE2-QGFu5k0qRJakPnabQwY3F2eXkNQbjgez2Ms9HLBhKKH5_meHsJOTzdk/s200/2354.gif" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFLa_YQp1aIr0rRJYYpGAZb2HQBZsImIL-8pPiXaKUqj-tKOZlFBHlisDBBQtM3EhootKITSUsIt2CcO-jBYdrPsBUBXnJf50mElFfeak2dtB_6fe6yiOgkrE2fwS5fr28GtuywqCVUZsR/s1600/2355.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFLa_YQp1aIr0rRJYYpGAZb2HQBZsImIL-8pPiXaKUqj-tKOZlFBHlisDBBQtM3EhootKITSUsIt2CcO-jBYdrPsBUBXnJf50mElFfeak2dtB_6fe6yiOgkrE2fwS5fr28GtuywqCVUZsR/s200/2355.gif" width="165" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtHYYefH8A_7c4R4bxeMvrX2ONxU6HbGaiCVBdnNDXwOWmIkxFlxYtKaj8_Ww2KAtg3c8uA-mRHxLgCvq3cpxEh-aszSpKsqqMnQESDWaTvw4tLjfa6aJQfWruSmq8pTmTeET6V3ogPKmj/s1600/2351.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtHYYefH8A_7c4R4bxeMvrX2ONxU6HbGaiCVBdnNDXwOWmIkxFlxYtKaj8_Ww2KAtg3c8uA-mRHxLgCvq3cpxEh-aszSpKsqqMnQESDWaTvw4tLjfa6aJQfWruSmq8pTmTeET6V3ogPKmj/s200/2351.gif" width="176" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Looks like Super Bowl XXI had something to do with jesters.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i><br />
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</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Here's the logo for Super Bowl XLVIII that'll be played in 2014:</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnOe2qgnzp5axs6mP3Ls5w-ihoRNmDja5NqgYmA02Zq-clUF8qyA37_XE64cdriDfBtAvKFR-XoGgPMXzbqK4qmo5Y38E006JG1BXab04Qh-jpGaOpBsKx0yXVo-8EZgcAx0-l9K-SERRf/s1600/alg_superbowl_nynj01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnOe2qgnzp5axs6mP3Ls5w-ihoRNmDja5NqgYmA02Zq-clUF8qyA37_XE64cdriDfBtAvKFR-XoGgPMXzbqK4qmo5Y38E006JG1BXab04Qh-jpGaOpBsKx0yXVo-8EZgcAx0-l9K-SERRf/s400/alg_superbowl_nynj01.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My first thought upon seeing this logo was that a lot of people got paid a lot of money to spend several months designing it and this is what they came up with.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">We've got the <b>George Washington Bridge</b>. Because when I think of the best landmark in NY/NJ, I don't think of the Empire State Building or Statue of Liberty, I think of the GW Bridge. A picture of the New York City skyline would've also been nice, but not as nice as the image of a bridge that's packed with traffic during rush hour.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Next, we have the green <b>New York Jets color font</b>. Of course, I'm a fan of this. There's some blue in the logo (for the Giants I presume), but it's more of a pale blue, not really NY Giants blue. The gray/silver color is also bleak which makes the green pop out even more.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">My favorite thing, of course, is the big <b>snowflake</b> at the center of the logo. Do Roger Goodell and the rest of the NFL really think that sitting outside in February in New York City in the freezing cold is fun? Do they realize that real football fans don't go to the Super Bowl-- just rich people and celebrities-- these aren't people who want to deal with the cold. February is the coldest month in NYC, averaging a high of 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Also, it's the snowiest month. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I hope the Jets are in Super Bowl XLVIII (XLVIII-- that's an awful lot of letters) to represent their green color in the logo. I also hope it's a blizzard because that would be fun to watch on TV.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">I think I made a better logo with LunaPic on the internet.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ViiAgpwM1eA7IguEZpzSrneYb9IyJ7L-35nm3KghwAINV0OlXwBL3FqKGNhmmtf8rEujQy3ihJu0kyC9X9x44kNI6UwsPzEGw45MMcKJuNDSr0Mt4oEKZAhttF7disEj0briGsWXu-4X/s1600/131723336076779.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh2ViiAgpwM1eA7IguEZpzSrneYb9IyJ7L-35nm3KghwAINV0OlXwBL3FqKGNhmmtf8rEujQy3ihJu0kyC9X9x44kNI6UwsPzEGw45MMcKJuNDSr0Mt4oEKZAhttF7disEj0briGsWXu-4X/s320/131723336076779.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>It's sort of a graffiti style...that's cool.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;">Alright, so my logo isn't very good. But I did it in 15 minutes and I also didn't try very hard. Maybe it's time to call it quits with the "location in the logo" logos. We can go back to the bowling logos. In hindsight, those don't look all that bad.</span></div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-40815231712802192172011-09-22T15:27:00.002-04:002011-10-19T02:46:25.596-04:00What's Wrong With Going to Jets Games (and how to fix it)<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><b>PERSON</b>: Hey, Jeff, do you know how I can get season tickets for the New York Jets?</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: small;"><b>JEFF</b>: Well, the first thing you're going to have to do is buy a Personal Seat License, or PSL for short.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><b>PERSON</b>: What's that?</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: small;"><b>JEFF</b>: A PSL is basically you paying for the right to buy season tickets for a seat.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><b>PERSON</b>: But I just want to buy the tickets.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: small;"><b>JEFF</b>: You have to pay for the right to buy the tickets. Then, you can buy the tickets.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><b>PERSON</b>: That sounds like a scam.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">(Long pause) </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: small;"><b>JEFF</b>: What sort of seats do you want?</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><b>PERSON</b>: Well, at least decent ones. I want to be able to see my favorite team win!</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: small;"><b>JEFF</b>: Alright, how about this seat? The PSL is just $15,000.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><b>PERSON</b>: What?! To buy one seat?!</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: small;"><b>JEFF</b>: That pays for the right to buy the tickets to the seat. After you pay the 15K, you're going to have to pay $295 a ticket for each game...including preseason-- you have to buy those, too.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><b>PERSON</b>: So it's going to cost me $17,950 to get the tickets?!</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #cc0000; font-size: small;"><b>JEFF</b>: Plus tax. And unless you want to go alone, you're going to need another seat.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">And they wonder why they can't sell all the tickets.</span></span></div><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhdmH4p8qJ-I5JWN6mkxpRRG3Hk_QEUbQw-oeXyMrETxJOBZGR0ofbPBxc7nYV5frpq31Yv_psY0OeKWOcj3Aas7ty_osOk7lBkX_hGfe5GQ1Qq08L17RKOFVnzS9HHrS80qLEJiwWrEFK/s1600/061010_seating_chart_num.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="264" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhdmH4p8qJ-I5JWN6mkxpRRG3Hk_QEUbQw-oeXyMrETxJOBZGR0ofbPBxc7nYV5frpq31Yv_psY0OeKWOcj3Aas7ty_osOk7lBkX_hGfe5GQ1Qq08L17RKOFVnzS9HHrS80qLEJiwWrEFK/s320/061010_seating_chart_num.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>MetLife Stadium</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i></i></div><a name='more'></a><br />
<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times;"><i><br />
</i></span> </span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8N7eE6iqFr3yL0b1qJ-ag-PXs-8tN4kXgs6wfPJ8dDTW4pRiaTrFq_Mz59Fz7S3jJiz14eCAXX_Xng0HzUsQ82rZMrKOCRHuRPTsAgA5SXtTJbo99GTGeG7uHhcaQODFxpsDD2l2MKjo5/s1600/131671530419818.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8N7eE6iqFr3yL0b1qJ-ag-PXs-8tN4kXgs6wfPJ8dDTW4pRiaTrFq_Mz59Fz7S3jJiz14eCAXX_Xng0HzUsQ82rZMrKOCRHuRPTsAgA5SXtTJbo99GTGeG7uHhcaQODFxpsDD2l2MKjo5/s1600/131671530419818.png" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>I like this rainbow-colored chart.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Football means a lot to many Americans (and even one or two people who don't live in America). It's what we look forward to every weekend. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We love to root for our favorite players or our favorite team (and often our favorite players play on our favorite team).</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">It sometimes seems like owners, on the other hand, only care about making $$$. That's why New Meadowlands Stadium is now MetLife Stadium and the Touchdown Club seating section is now the Lexus Club. It's not a game to the big guys. It's a product they're selling us, and going to a football game is just them selling an experience. And that's fine. As long as they're making the experience worth it to fans.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The New York Jets are doing their part. Finally, we've got a good, fun team to root for. They've given us two great home games this year against the Cowboys and Jaguars. As for the stadium experience itself, though, it could be better. Of course, I've got some suggestions. (Woody Johnson, I know you are reading this, so pay attention.)</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzQNiSmBNgWWl3by1J5D8zpZmcwFiq2gE6X1ExjInF9OnUWFbi3nuKrQHR8FpTxfg0Uoi7uPhRw-FsV-JQLOZyAAwTEXDVqtt3QMk6P7ZBnX24ZAX5CDOMEcS_nOeaYdb2IdKEuLr4Q-P6/s1600/450x362-alg_woody_johnson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="257" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzQNiSmBNgWWl3by1J5D8zpZmcwFiq2gE6X1ExjInF9OnUWFbi3nuKrQHR8FpTxfg0Uoi7uPhRw-FsV-JQLOZyAAwTEXDVqtt3QMk6P7ZBnX24ZAX5CDOMEcS_nOeaYdb2IdKEuLr4Q-P6/s320/450x362-alg_woody_johnson.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">He reads this blog.</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-size: large;">*Stop Taking Our Bottle Caps!</span></u></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A bottle of water at a Jets game costs $4… four dollars without the cap that is. Whenever you buy a bottle of water, or Gatorade, or whatever beverage suits your fancy, they remove the cap before giving it to you.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> If you bring a bottle of water with you to the game (so that you don't have to waste four dollars), they make you take the bottle cap off before entering. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This is such a little issue, but it is so very annoying. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There must have a been a sporting event somewhere where fans got upset and threw their bottle caps onto the field and killed someone. (Note: I did a Google search for "bottle cap kills person" and nothing relevant came up.)</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDmXoUuVsGBViPXvjqISKdHguZC8XdZUJ0ePOXSdmed5BSyxHMzTkDocqQtpCTXMdesEKPoRk0oRTEAiUcjPhyBZjwbe9Evx5xUrlEkL2P7nVp4nRqV21np7jWmgiwD1_L5f8FLf1VCHMj/s1600/caps-for-sale.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDmXoUuVsGBViPXvjqISKdHguZC8XdZUJ0ePOXSdmed5BSyxHMzTkDocqQtpCTXMdesEKPoRk0oRTEAiUcjPhyBZjwbe9Evx5xUrlEkL2P7nVp4nRqV21np7jWmgiwD1_L5f8FLf1VCHMj/s320/caps-for-sale.jpg" width="257" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">This mustached man charges 50 cents a cap. That's pretty reasonable.</span></i></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">You can flick a bottle cap really fast. I get that. Do you know what else people can throw? Water bottles! Or, if you wanted, you could bring a rock and throw it! (I am not in any way encouraging anyone to bring a rock to the game.) </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvbSgNg6BWdYpZri6h-7RokMdK9YOPegQs6KaWi7twKqfm9lki0f4YSRZGnXscbrByX3DaU-pdZF5Ybw7MSj5hSsAwDeaUiruIyVvt7V3_DaysUc-zXKQi01Y_Fpfs8BRUbQzv0IU2yMKW/s1600/the-strongest-men-in-the-world.1367971.40.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhvbSgNg6BWdYpZri6h-7RokMdK9YOPegQs6KaWi7twKqfm9lki0f4YSRZGnXscbrByX3DaU-pdZF5Ybw7MSj5hSsAwDeaUiruIyVvt7V3_DaysUc-zXKQi01Y_Fpfs8BRUbQzv0IU2yMKW/s1600/the-strongest-men-in-the-world.1367971.40.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">That's more dangerous than a bottle cap!</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Give us back our bottle caps! If we throw them, kick us out of the stadium; but until then, don't make us maneuver through the crowds trying not to spill our water everywhere, it's a real pain in the ass.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-size: large;">*Better Give-Aways/ Promotional Days</span></u></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b></b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The Jets promo/event days:</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Week 1 (Cowboys): Commemorate 10th Anniversary of 9/11</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Week 2 (Jaguars): Hispanic Heritage</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Week 6 (Dolphins): Breast Cancer Awareness, Ring of Honor</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Week 7 (Chargers): Fan Appreciation Day, ALR Lupus Awareness Day</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Week 10 (Patriots): Military Appreciation Day, Food Drive</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Week 12 (Bills): Play 60</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Week 14: (Chiefs): PSAL Championship Team, Eat Right Move More, Toy Drive</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Week 16 (Giants): Coat Drive</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I do not have a problem with any of these days-- I have no problem with appreciating our military or having a day when we are aware of lupus. What I have a problem with is the lack of fun days and good giveaways. Week 1, for example, was the anniversary of 9/11. Jets fans were given small American flags. Totally fine. But Week 1 was also the first Jets game of the season. Shouldn't the fans be given something else, too? Something that acknowledges they went to the start of the the Jets 2011 season. That would be nice.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Some of the fun events at the Jets vs. Jaguars game:</span><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjLqDaqFhKKtr-VYcndgdcvzC9cJSOiR_GTnST6w5zqBKE_d8258wBRc_0WsC9pCA9R8Kzo7LvqCQd89WxGkVfck2WrWFAQPY3qnG65rkQg__lwS8xKDVWDkbSEoedDtbwt9_bSNQz3b7v/s1600/Screen+shot+2011-09-22+at+2.30.09+PM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="169" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjLqDaqFhKKtr-VYcndgdcvzC9cJSOiR_GTnST6w5zqBKE_d8258wBRc_0WsC9pCA9R8Kzo7LvqCQd89WxGkVfck2WrWFAQPY3qnG65rkQg__lwS8xKDVWDkbSEoedDtbwt9_bSNQz3b7v/s640/Screen+shot+2011-09-22+at+2.30.09+PM.png" width="640" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I hope fans don't go from the Bud Light Corner and the Beer Garden to the Chase Freedom Zone football obstacle course!</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
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</div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Week 7 is Fan Appreciation Day…we'll probably get a keychain. (Oh wait, I already got a free keychain one time-- they did give me that… and a pocket schedule.)</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgToj5Wqiu_ng_Dli-3BudsuPAuc0xZrgx2pFD_zmK6xmrftmqQ35RWQCOYQIH35eh2WCvNtBj5014da4nJ47M4vo0YRVAanyJvnhJo4gIZNsTgV4TaLz1NRZhMcVcTeBkwQx6I2Aes8PqU/s1600/41sA35BrZKL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgToj5Wqiu_ng_Dli-3BudsuPAuc0xZrgx2pFD_zmK6xmrftmqQ35RWQCOYQIH35eh2WCvNtBj5014da4nJ47M4vo0YRVAanyJvnhJo4gIZNsTgV4TaLz1NRZhMcVcTeBkwQx6I2Aes8PqU/s200/41sA35BrZKL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>You put keys on it.</i></span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Food drive? Coat drive? Okay, that's fine. We can have those things, but how about something else too? Get creative. I propose Rex Ryan Day. People will love it. Before the game, Rex Ryan makes a five minute motivational speech to the crowd, pumping everyone up for the game. It would take virtually no time and people would love it. You'd get people dressing up like Rex Ryan for the game and everything. There should also be discounted food on Rex Ryan Day.</span><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs2DuM4ldWMEi7957LXDj5TzBAhhGnlQRlLvzUMFbCSvi2593i4r5W3jqei8xM0GjEKVvBbPinL9j3Re2v1x03JCMr-ZrsTKS1NEDO3efa-oMN22xM3V74UWGkvP0YTC3W6O7I2NrJYsAI/s1600/Rex-Ryan-and-his-saggy-boobs-devour-turkey.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjs2DuM4ldWMEi7957LXDj5TzBAhhGnlQRlLvzUMFbCSvi2593i4r5W3jqei8xM0GjEKVvBbPinL9j3Re2v1x03JCMr-ZrsTKS1NEDO3efa-oMN22xM3V74UWGkvP0YTC3W6O7I2NrJYsAI/s320/Rex-Ryan-and-his-saggy-boobs-devour-turkey.png" width="239" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">The best sports in town.</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Play 60 (Week 12) "brings together the NFL's long-standing commitment to health and fitness with an impressive roster of partner organizations," according to the New York Jets Community Website. On the Jets' Play 60 page, we're informed that (current Buffalo Bill) Brad Smith is one of the team's spokespeople for Play 60. At least they're really into the program and keep it up to date! I am also curious what the difference is between Play 60 and Eat More Move Right (Week 14).</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5rcy7jQ2XShZHEyizo7NcmGOx2XeO0lJlJQaQJ74Ol30-aBY_tXiMlZkN0itiXZBGutCYvtT4N4VjKKE_arQRNqErAhB_k9kiC8hg8NaMacmTY7W3BC-Zm7U6EvkdUMpb6nueCRtpwS4j/s1600/play60_06.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5rcy7jQ2XShZHEyizo7NcmGOx2XeO0lJlJQaQJ74Ol30-aBY_tXiMlZkN0itiXZBGutCYvtT4N4VjKKE_arQRNqErAhB_k9kiC8hg8NaMacmTY7W3BC-Zm7U6EvkdUMpb6nueCRtpwS4j/s400/play60_06.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Rex Ryan is going to have to work hard to be a Play 60 MVP.</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Here is what I would add to the current schedule:</span><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Quest for the Super Bowl Begins Day</b>- Free hats and shirts that read "NY JETS 2011."</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Mark Sanchez Day</b>- Free Sanchez Bobble Head, issues of GQ magazine, and a filmed Sanchez comedy skit plays on screens at half time .</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-uYRQEfKeyfMnQRc-1IoM4lxI-PgxfeSEgnIo5RfpNnwpCQFWkozawH4-SGk493seLx4VwVg4adLHB6tDaM0ceMX_x4bFfsQNltnxramcCJ7NphV9S8ZvBU6HA0QAbGUsR3mXD0y6ptI4/s1600/Mark_Sanchez_GQ_Magazine_Cover_Photo_1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-uYRQEfKeyfMnQRc-1IoM4lxI-PgxfeSEgnIo5RfpNnwpCQFWkozawH4-SGk493seLx4VwVg4adLHB6tDaM0ceMX_x4bFfsQNltnxramcCJ7NphV9S8ZvBU6HA0QAbGUsR3mXD0y6ptI4/s320/Mark_Sanchez_GQ_Magazine_Cover_Photo_1.jpg" width="227" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Aaron Rodgers is just jealous.</span></i></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Rex Ryan Day </b>(described above)</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Beat the Patriots Day</b>- Free shirts with a cartoon Jet flying after a cartoon Patriot OR shirts with images of Tom Brady being sacked on them.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Free Football Day</b>- If the NFL is so into health and fitness, give fans free NY Jets footballs so that they can run around and throw them and get in shape.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Defense Day</b>- Giveaways of merchandise related to the defense. Free T-shirts that say Jets D on one side and on the other side have the name and number of a Jets' defender (they can be just cheap green shirts with white text-- it'd still be cool if the whole crowd is wearing them).</span><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1BO8UP6Y31rK7tdP3kCBs4j6GBrDn3dyCS1XC2DeuUoa-VssZEL8_lvIlvO0oVJC4886nWFuTfVY0eUWDmveAI16xZW6x6zjEbp08cwIBor5NmNzyW0X-nmzMj7UJsIfteRt-iAGqn6a7/s1600/Screen_shot_2011-01-21_at_8.47.37_AM.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="231" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg1BO8UP6Y31rK7tdP3kCBs4j6GBrDn3dyCS1XC2DeuUoa-VssZEL8_lvIlvO0oVJC4886nWFuTfVY0eUWDmveAI16xZW6x6zjEbp08cwIBor5NmNzyW0X-nmzMj7UJsIfteRt-iAGqn6a7/s320/Screen_shot_2011-01-21_at_8.47.37_AM.png" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">"Can't wait" for Defense Day.</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Battle for the City</b>- The Jets play the Giants this year-- capitalize on it! Sure, you can have a coat drive, but how about switching up the look of the stadium so that green and blue are at war with one another. Banners reading "This is our city now" need to be hung up, etc.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><u><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #38761d; font-size: large;">*Build A Roof Already!</span></u></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Football in the elements is great… if you're watching it on TV. It seems like every other Jets game it rains (and that's because literally, every other Jets game, it really does rain). </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVCqply0ityQ3vBaqNVwtOLHuO0mn_aeHMLLgS_Zac6R_SBOKak__DvLThhbmawQo_dU6ql4T4ybJ2FjsgzPB4JU7wAspDRg8WQQWJQigOWPtf-Iv8N6gtgyYl3nGtifJi1xeadpyG-Iq8/s1600/P1000775-1024x768.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVCqply0ityQ3vBaqNVwtOLHuO0mn_aeHMLLgS_Zac6R_SBOKak__DvLThhbmawQo_dU6ql4T4ybJ2FjsgzPB4JU7wAspDRg8WQQWJQigOWPtf-Iv8N6gtgyYl3nGtifJi1xeadpyG-Iq8/s400/P1000775-1024x768.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">No one will sit in the rain with me.</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The argument that football is meant to be played in the rain, mud, and snow isn't too strong since other teams already have domed stadiums. Football is changing. And while it was once meant to be played in those conditions, now it's meant to be played in those conditions or a domed stadium.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Oh yeah, and if you're not going to build a roof, at least give me a free poncho; don't charge me $10 for one.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There you have it. I hope you are reading this Woody because if you are, and if you take my advice, you will be able to better satisfy existing Jets fans, as well as expand the New York Jets fan base, by creating a more enjoyable experience at games. Also, stop charging so much for Preseason games.</span></div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-64617495214038551782011-09-16T15:41:00.002-04:002011-09-22T15:28:19.127-04:00TOP TEN THREATS TO LIFE AS WE KNOW IT<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">One year from now...</span></i></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Some nights, when the moon is full and yellow, and when the air is cold, you can hear the monster crying right outside your bedroom window. It is a sad cry, or angry maybe…tortured; yes, that's the right word. Tortured. You go out to search for the monster, but he cannot be found. You can feel him watching you, but still, he remains hidden.</span></i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i></i></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The monster is getting closer now. You aim your flashlight at the trees and, for a moment, you're certain that you see the outline of a large figure crouching behind a branch. </span></i><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqMub1XkB-mlFSuuwEmmevhViCIH1yqOPJ9bFOsIfCRjEoHv51bHf6yGVtwbx8LrmG8H1vmM64R3hbNgGkIt1Svdv6g7quI4Gt2yr2Il0AKuYIE6Sjd1g_cu81oTCvV5ssLGNjfTSVGMqv/s1600/1316201199-4895.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqMub1XkB-mlFSuuwEmmevhViCIH1yqOPJ9bFOsIfCRjEoHv51bHf6yGVtwbx8LrmG8H1vmM64R3hbNgGkIt1Svdv6g7quI4Gt2yr2Il0AKuYIE6Sjd1g_cu81oTCvV5ssLGNjfTSVGMqv/s1600/1316201199-4895.png" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">But then… the figure is gone. The monster has disappeared into the night. But he will return. He will return with friends-- other monsters. And the monsters will try to eat you, since they are hungry. And there has been a hidden society of monsters living under the ground for centuries and they are finally ready to attack mankind.</span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span id="goog_1526546812"></span><span id="goog_1526546813"></span></span></i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i></i></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Now, you have to run away to the beach (since the monsters are scared of the water). Life as you knew it is over.</span></i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Wow! That is one scary premonition I had about what's going to happen to you! I sure hope it doesn't come true, but I am almost always right, so it probably will. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Every thousand years, something happens that drastically changes life on Earth. For example, when the dinosaurs were killed by the meteorite, lots of things changed (mainly, there were no more dinosaurs). Now, we're due for another big change.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Films like <i>Contagion</i> and <i>Rise of Planet of the Apes</i> give us some ideas of threats that could drastically alter the lives of humans everywhere (viruses and monkeys), but I foresee other possible threats to mankind. For your reading pleasure, and because you should be prepared for them, here are the <b>TOP 10 THREATS TO LIFE AS WE KNOW IT!</b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b></b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span><br />
<a name='more'></a></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">10. THE JERSEY DEVIL</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The Jersey Devil lives in New Jersey (and that's how it got its name). One time, I was 80% certain that I heard the Jersey Devil outside my parents' house in Central Jersey. Also, there is a hockey team named after this legendary creature. These two things combined are more than enough proof that this evil creature is real. The threat will arise if the Jersey Devil population continues to grow (as it has for some time). Then, it might become the United States Devil. And then, the Earth Devil.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ8hKl5viXbU91MMiuaCOisciMjMmLAftrHf_xRR1vK0UT4sHXsn-LaTZFgf1N63IkXf9QHICLUsftNhnlWotqxV_8g-aRFJ393ZjCoGLi0jKmT2JXaRg5lH3GChJDmfxTnQh5X0pAUTgX/s1600/200px-Jersey_Devil_Philadelphia_Post_1909.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJ8hKl5viXbU91MMiuaCOisciMjMmLAftrHf_xRR1vK0UT4sHXsn-LaTZFgf1N63IkXf9QHICLUsftNhnlWotqxV_8g-aRFJ393ZjCoGLi0jKmT2JXaRg5lH3GChJDmfxTnQh5X0pAUTgX/s1600/200px-Jersey_Devil_Philadelphia_Post_1909.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>It is like lots of animals put together.</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b></b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">9. WIZARDS</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Good wizards, like Harry Potter and Gandalf, are not the problem. It's the evil wizards, like Voldemort, that are worrying. Most of us are not trained in the art of magic. This will put us normal people at a huge disadvantage if the bad wizards ever decide that they want to take over the world.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLWAK0nSArfuf47Qy0aLLSUDku2F5JHE1mWbT2-HzOnTYO3n3_HvI6nMUxRCmpgrk0DqsAR7ethiKHaZR7gsGLdjE9b3vp3LcLXpW0Odu8_Y4kYxd2-X8hm_kP3GAlXef4zHBgQ41p-00S/s1600/the-wizard-of-oz.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="262" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLWAK0nSArfuf47Qy0aLLSUDku2F5JHE1mWbT2-HzOnTYO3n3_HvI6nMUxRCmpgrk0DqsAR7ethiKHaZR7gsGLdjE9b3vp3LcLXpW0Odu8_Y4kYxd2-X8hm_kP3GAlXef4zHBgQ41p-00S/s320/the-wizard-of-oz.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>The scary man is a wizard.</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">8. ALIENS</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Aliens have been abducting people for years, finding out the easiest ways to defeat us for their eventual takeover. The aliens will come for the planet's minerals and they will not leave until they have completely depleted the earth. In order to survive, we will have to build spaceships and hide on the moon until the aliens leave.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirktwOGWmaJRQJoA3vZMcZuQ_TZTVjQzbrk-nPX_xR3344mtuXh36Re1HOQMWFMQtGEFTW44hmTzZECRUalwIxbxIv72Dmd18RVlAxDQ702dAwO6eGdUYgSFBAlkiFpSeeDFIWiDcCJCDW/s1600/StopIllegalAlienInvasionBanner%25281%2529.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirktwOGWmaJRQJoA3vZMcZuQ_TZTVjQzbrk-nPX_xR3344mtuXh36Re1HOQMWFMQtGEFTW44hmTzZECRUalwIxbxIv72Dmd18RVlAxDQ702dAwO6eGdUYgSFBAlkiFpSeeDFIWiDcCJCDW/s320/StopIllegalAlienInvasionBanner%25281%2529.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">These people are scared of aliens.</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">7. MONSTERS</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The monsters that live beneath the earth and are going to one day rise up <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Helvetica;">(that I wrote about earlier)</span> are #7. The good thing about these</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> monsters is that they are scared of the water because they are so big that they can't swim. We will all be safe if we go live on an island.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMEizGDeqYLl6jfYTryCPm07djGyq9E1G7hEU0mS9bmprG8BA9g8aSXVYQ-cQX388UNfqWjMPfc8zoryIHrOX-0mNrIJJiwB83oQhK2bVKa0JWrxyn1bDG1EaiYi5tY-j7aQnR7A8fIG5N/s1600/1316200713-95314.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="302" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMEizGDeqYLl6jfYTryCPm07djGyq9E1G7hEU0mS9bmprG8BA9g8aSXVYQ-cQX388UNfqWjMPfc8zoryIHrOX-0mNrIJJiwB83oQhK2bVKa0JWrxyn1bDG1EaiYi5tY-j7aQnR7A8fIG5N/s400/1316200713-95314.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>The monster is going to eat D'Amico!</i></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">6. FACEBOOK</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">What do we really know about Mark Zuckerberg? We know that he is weird and wears slippers. What if there is more to him? What if one day he hits a button and anyone who goes on Facebook will be mind controlled by him? This is possible. He could make us his mindless drones and become the evil king of the earth. Wait a minute...</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCG6iMyq9m1HLBvCZqlmUZYAG0yUbAb-hHGJMj5tkM2ocw4ukremYqpjfNADqYe2oKUaiiJ67B5Z5R-zfk48hh_byZBVGH2S4qvnq5vUqDeSfsY41M0KOAkMejM7I7cPqJlbojFpp0RzsY/s1600/mark-zuckerberg-is-happy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjCG6iMyq9m1HLBvCZqlmUZYAG0yUbAb-hHGJMj5tkM2ocw4ukremYqpjfNADqYe2oKUaiiJ67B5Z5R-zfk48hh_byZBVGH2S4qvnq5vUqDeSfsY41M0KOAkMejM7I7cPqJlbojFpp0RzsY/s200/mark-zuckerberg-is-happy.jpg" width="178" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Evil King Mark.</i></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">5. DINOSAURS</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We thought the dinosaurs were dead…but we were wrong. What if the meteorite killed the dinosaurs' bodies, but their DNA survived? Then, one day the DNA will all come together and combine with cells and dinosaurs will exist again. (Note: I am not a scientist, so I am not positive this is how it will all work, but it will be something like this.) Some of the dinosaurs will be friendly, like the brontosaurus. Other dinosaurs, though, like the T-Rex, will try to eat us. Also, pterodactyls, will swoop down from the sky and carry people away to their nests.</span><br />
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</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNkXgpa77yyG7iSRPNIndyO-LWiGfE6FcNvvVgMlgFYmUo17dbGNlaw2xGLODBKvu7igAPXtrywCVxiwRhaXUHrXYttT8LXZ3lgt5tLNUO00gEjmKfoYiY-tRUoAxeJLel3CdaPdJjwcZB/s1600/Bulbasaur.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNkXgpa77yyG7iSRPNIndyO-LWiGfE6FcNvvVgMlgFYmUo17dbGNlaw2xGLODBKvu7igAPXtrywCVxiwRhaXUHrXYttT8LXZ3lgt5tLNUO00gEjmKfoYiY-tRUoAxeJLel3CdaPdJjwcZB/s200/Bulbasaur.png" width="186" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>RUN! This dinosaur is chasing you!</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">4. NATURE</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Nature is all around us. It is plants and trees and everything else. Nature can be our greatest ally, or our most ruthless enemy. What if nature turned completely against us? Vines would tangle people up and trees would attack us with their branches (like in <i>Snow White</i>). Pocahontas was good with nature, maybe we should all just be more like her and become friends with old trees.</span><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b></b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9nLUzzD4ngOXvAd7UNyBRwLdORJTx4wd6Q9eCU5fFkVLzEMxw4s1Nhjdnb6D2x99nf21ad7_1qkocXGlI0n-WLhc0vv12PQmSU4TTcXQgQNJwhfmhME6OZ6dyME0r7CMXPhfrew-QYFQ5/s1600/take+away+trunk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="201" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9nLUzzD4ngOXvAd7UNyBRwLdORJTx4wd6Q9eCU5fFkVLzEMxw4s1Nhjdnb6D2x99nf21ad7_1qkocXGlI0n-WLhc0vv12PQmSU4TTcXQgQNJwhfmhME6OZ6dyME0r7CMXPhfrew-QYFQ5/s320/take+away+trunk.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>The Giving Tree wants revenge.</i></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">3. BEARS</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Imagine if <i>Planet of the Apes</i> was real. Terrifying, right? Now imagine if instead of super-smart gorillas, we had to deal with super-smart bears. Bears are meaner than gorillas and much stronger. They're also not primates so they will have no sympathy for us.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiklq3PzJ2Yr_hW5mGOnGmAw2EPckyyXls4vjNkmV7W9agPexVrxwYaUAU6IGM8r1Wyyj_wx7bpLXtHvrGMqnYRdydUw511Vodu5Xbg4qN1CwncBGILqAR5ZFdZp4iS7JpF8wg4lfVqYC-E/s1600/1290264792prhR3v9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiklq3PzJ2Yr_hW5mGOnGmAw2EPckyyXls4vjNkmV7W9agPexVrxwYaUAU6IGM8r1Wyyj_wx7bpLXtHvrGMqnYRdydUw511Vodu5Xbg4qN1CwncBGILqAR5ZFdZp4iS7JpF8wg4lfVqYC-E/s320/1290264792prhR3v9.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Imagine if these ferocious beasts were smarter than us.</i></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">2. JACK FROST</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Some say that Jack Frost is a real spirit and others say he is only an idea. I am sure that he is real. Jack Frost can make snow cover the earth for a thousand days. Many of us would not survive the bitter cold and those of us who did would be forced to adapt to a totally new environment. Jack Frost is quite the trickster and is usually not so malicious, but you never know for sure.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGk6ggpc7_m3LlusgO_y5DrD8yyGunhFb4KCXoxU4ok7L1O8y-LFrXIjKeQvSxccmZokWlHN0hxM9dEssTcwVtfWXne8iZom2AI5k97jyMjRqQvs7TfykuxC5FoO3z2TUtXoPkXjKhZEbr/s1600/jack_frost_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGk6ggpc7_m3LlusgO_y5DrD8yyGunhFb4KCXoxU4ok7L1O8y-LFrXIjKeQvSxccmZokWlHN0hxM9dEssTcwVtfWXne8iZom2AI5k97jyMjRqQvs7TfykuxC5FoO3z2TUtXoPkXjKhZEbr/s320/jack_frost_large.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">"I am going to freeze you to death."-- Jack Frost (before freezing you)</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-size: large;">1. VOLCANOES</span></b></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Did you know that most hills are actually volcanoes that have been covered up by dirt and roads? What if, suddenly, all of these volcanoes erupted at once and burning-hot magma exploded everywhere?! Many cities would perish and we would all have to flee to the plains (because the ground is flat there so there aren't any volcanoes). Since we know about this threat, the government is making special suits that will allow us to live in lava. Hopefully, we will make the suits in time.</span><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG3DJoAeDiDXX7TJCpqdrjoZ87eUMsfsgYdiwv6OFWKai9a7Ft1xI8ygZlTrPK2SGjxwv_g3u3dOjrSemq1eJDTbYN7Lvkt2drc9lLseM344YWO4BspkF76uAtU8Yb1vR_D1Gbs8lgbQFE/s1600/220px-Volcano_ver2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG3DJoAeDiDXX7TJCpqdrjoZ87eUMsfsgYdiwv6OFWKai9a7Ft1xI8ygZlTrPK2SGjxwv_g3u3dOjrSemq1eJDTbYN7Lvkt2drc9lLseM344YWO4BspkF76uAtU8Yb1vR_D1Gbs8lgbQFE/s320/220px-Volcano_ver2.jpg" width="215" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">This movie is awful...but accurate.</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm_o8BurERRiwjiiDa6XLZe7h21ZbEiaZMZPR-4KvaZooB8lxJy1emsgkZQ44BH1c_bWjBD8vObPoAJE_I4zXy-kL0h55ivaxSap-vP6SxwzWiGkG3kQ42xjHVinRqxaM6xMylOb7-AvN4/s1600/830px-Mordor.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm_o8BurERRiwjiiDa6XLZe7h21ZbEiaZMZPR-4KvaZooB8lxJy1emsgkZQ44BH1c_bWjBD8vObPoAJE_I4zXy-kL0h55ivaxSap-vP6SxwzWiGkG3kQ42xjHVinRqxaM6xMylOb7-AvN4/s400/830px-Mordor.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">The United States, one year after the great eruption.</span></i></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">All of these threats can seem quite scary, but don't live your life in fear. If a situation like any of these ever arises, you only have to find me and I will protect you with my cunning, strength, and quick-thinking. Make sure you tell me that you are a frequent reader of my blog, or I might not help you.</span></div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-7192708694257791982011-09-14T04:44:00.004-04:002011-09-16T02:29:57.096-04:00TOP 10 SPORTS THAT SHOULDN'T BE CONSIDERED SPORTS<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b></b></span><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b><b>What is a sport?</b></b></span><br />
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<a name='more'></a></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>According to thefreedictionary.com (I hate paying for dictionaries), a sport is a <i>"physical activity that is governed by a set of rules or customs and often engaged in competitively."</i> </b></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Let's confirm that definition with a more reliable source. What say you, British people? Oxford Dictionaries defines the word sport as<i>"an activity involving physical exertion and skill in which an individual or team competes against another or others for entertainment.</i>"</b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>So, it's agreed upon-- basically, sports are physical competitions. With that in mind, here are the top ten "sports" that shouldn't be considered sports.</b></span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div style="font: 24.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">10. Racing</span></b></b></div><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"> </span></b><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Racing is very popular since many people enjoy watching cars go around and around a track really fast. However, it isn't a sport. Many people can drive a car-- when they do so, they are not playing a sport. The only physical exertion for a race car driver comes from putting his (or her-- hello, Danica Patrick) foot down on the accelerator.</span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFNa9qAmYnRNNeuTnJgL0M_KxcnGGQQjbjiVuATkjQjUYmhpp0uQQ9nP-xZ95DQkEhW7vImNmllDEqLENJDvOUJRGHOVBm9MO4ZGZOppWR2AxS4YnEcbGoEM4yvE4BAN9ehq3GslASOn7/s1600/tony-stewart.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKFNa9qAmYnRNNeuTnJgL0M_KxcnGGQQjbjiVuATkjQjUYmhpp0uQQ9nP-xZ95DQkEhW7vImNmllDEqLENJDvOUJRGHOVBm9MO4ZGZOppWR2AxS4YnEcbGoEM4yvE4BAN9ehq3GslASOn7/s320/tony-stewart.jpg" width="210" /></a></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">If this guy can do it, then it's not a sport.</span></i></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div style="font: 24.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">9. <b>Golf</b></span></div><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Swinging a club isn't too physical. If you are going to play mini golf and someone asks what you're going to be doing, would you say,<i> "I am going to go play a sport"</i>? If you would, then you are being misleading and are probably not good at any <i>real</i> sports.</span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_FWu9mVuUl7oBNmceCB4GTf0WfIACoY2aifsp3hPS-8xvYdNLJi-XPEvzfLVYpb-6-5laIEU8PsOhej51tKmi_lnm9ZKQVQFGY0T3ZALU3rcm1kf6rlMsIW0LuHud-uPflZ7NWRgUle4i/s1600/phil-mickelson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_FWu9mVuUl7oBNmceCB4GTf0WfIACoY2aifsp3hPS-8xvYdNLJi-XPEvzfLVYpb-6-5laIEU8PsOhej51tKmi_lnm9ZKQVQFGY0T3ZALU3rcm1kf6rlMsIW0LuHud-uPflZ7NWRgUle4i/s320/phil-mickelson.jpg" width="259" /></a></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Lookin' good, Phil.</i></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div style="font: 24.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">8. <b>Table Tennis</b></span></div><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If you miniaturize a real sport (tennis), it does not automatically make the new game a sport. For example, at the arcade, they have a little basketball hoop where you shoot the ball and earn points. That is not a sport. Neither is little tennis.</span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnMCnxMNOlCnyI99Jp6NgizZDJzOHtOKaO4JRFlaxGbCcl6sDGWieCBK0kbP-P6N7vunNFxjdILd6IoHkJU5AQFojqJJpptKKS9TvddQk3ZMxwdrI4nRKCDAN12h5qjj9iBDlSO628NyB3/s1600/forrest_gump_ping_pong-320x208.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnMCnxMNOlCnyI99Jp6NgizZDJzOHtOKaO4JRFlaxGbCcl6sDGWieCBK0kbP-P6N7vunNFxjdILd6IoHkJU5AQFojqJJpptKKS9TvddQk3ZMxwdrI4nRKCDAN12h5qjj9iBDlSO628NyB3/s1600/forrest_gump_ping_pong-320x208.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Sorry, Forrest Gump.</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div style="font: 24.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">7. <b>Curling</b></span></div><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Every time the Winter Olympics roles around (which is just about every four years), I have to listen to people talk about how curling should not be a sport. These people are right. Not only is the whole idea of curling sort of ridiculous, anything that involves a broom is not a sport.</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBH13pJ554wprfIG9r7dAXeWLFXB88r10dPlgRyiXe3o5jR4Mv4Bf4ckfUT5C_JnFiCw0pI-iEPacHTK5wU92_BHcbyLEZvBQZZ1Zun6AB8xxlZ5qwU7Pw0iXA-VZOOKIGnxQkNjOZlkqD/s1600/33163346.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiBH13pJ554wprfIG9r7dAXeWLFXB88r10dPlgRyiXe3o5jR4Mv4Bf4ckfUT5C_JnFiCw0pI-iEPacHTK5wU92_BHcbyLEZvBQZZ1Zun6AB8xxlZ5qwU7Pw0iXA-VZOOKIGnxQkNjOZlkqD/s400/33163346.jpg" width="266" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Well, the Winnipeg Free Press liked it.</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div style="font: 24.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">6. <b>Archery</b></span></div><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Being a good archer would be useful if you were stranded on an island and needed to hunt for food. You could fashion a bow and arrow with sticks and make an arrow-head by sharpening a stone with your machete.</span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYb7Bgq0RFnLiO4uFHf00jeikCtu73z2Qh99v4f3ns21taYY8SmlL9gJ35prNdLHc01qxFY0wBNfBRlzkEMFS-72xrnjWFZyNSlsHJ1RuzkE9-Y-ynexqfCv9pQ-R7AB3g0tl4Zyj8tLNf/s1600/Olympics%252BDay%252B3%252BArchery%252B5dusl7UZY1-l.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYb7Bgq0RFnLiO4uFHf00jeikCtu73z2Qh99v4f3ns21taYY8SmlL9gJ35prNdLHc01qxFY0wBNfBRlzkEMFS-72xrnjWFZyNSlsHJ1RuzkE9-Y-ynexqfCv9pQ-R7AB3g0tl4Zyj8tLNf/s320/Olympics%252BDay%252B3%252BArchery%252B5dusl7UZY1-l.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Olympic athlete.</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div style="font: 24.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">5. <b>Fishing</b></span></div><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">As with many of these sports, I just don't see the physicality here (plus, most people who fish aren't doing so competitively). Sure, you have to be strong enough to reel in the fish, but many people (myself included) are quite strong.</span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigOoEXeg5RqnEhdtDVzYm8oSr-yrF6jFHlKrMrimNwRYSEuBUiDKj-Y3xjQhdeeFkT_j8haaKqFnzEaMgFF9eLDlkY1Es3MV6Hu2exI_ESoH0_Guk6pR1Vj2YYTgpo8r2LpwoyusVuIVKS/s1600/rainbow-fish.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigOoEXeg5RqnEhdtDVzYm8oSr-yrF6jFHlKrMrimNwRYSEuBUiDKj-Y3xjQhdeeFkT_j8haaKqFnzEaMgFF9eLDlkY1Es3MV6Hu2exI_ESoH0_Guk6pR1Vj2YYTgpo8r2LpwoyusVuIVKS/s320/rainbow-fish.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>"Stop fishing."-Rainbow Fish</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">4. <b>Billiards</b></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Billiards is a game that you can play in a bar. If you get in a drunken brawl, then a pool cue is the perfect weapon.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9BBUcPypu8rpyodoGmii4HuwqkWygqpvyfmKoyehSwZnbmyIN2Lu27vOQ9C-rTYFTGz7yzLF39WVdQ4vyqZ-kTmBrVQ3pK6Q316ojVuXCBjlSBkbWtP2pR09o4anGRG2vAJOBJMPl1yYY/s1600/dogs+playing+poker22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9BBUcPypu8rpyodoGmii4HuwqkWygqpvyfmKoyehSwZnbmyIN2Lu27vOQ9C-rTYFTGz7yzLF39WVdQ4vyqZ-kTmBrVQ3pK6Q316ojVuXCBjlSBkbWtP2pR09o4anGRG2vAJOBJMPl1yYY/s320/dogs+playing+poker22.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>That's silly. The dogs are acting like people.</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><br />
<div style="font: 24.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">3. <b>Bowling</b></span></div><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Sometimes, when you are a child, you have to go bowling for someone's birthday party. If you are unlucky, it will be cosmic bowling and the disco lights and bad music will give you a headache.</span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipUAiofowP9qQIUEROjML7qkv3SD9137fraps224BVV6Urf7EabovC4znabY9RBvz5bX-PHQrUuHZIoJNHbYyTNdiCLn-5tm4LRhI4y_b2ev1XXMlnhGXVwvlIPzfoG0bpZNbutYBBl56z/s1600/the_big_lebowski_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="313" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipUAiofowP9qQIUEROjML7qkv3SD9137fraps224BVV6Urf7EabovC4znabY9RBvz5bX-PHQrUuHZIoJNHbYyTNdiCLn-5tm4LRhI4y_b2ev1XXMlnhGXVwvlIPzfoG0bpZNbutYBBl56z/s320/the_big_lebowski_4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>A sports movie.</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span><br />
<div style="font: 24.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">2. <b>Darts</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Darts, really? If something is competitive, it shouldn't automatically be considered a sport. Darts is something you do for half an hour and then get bored. You can throw darts at people, though, and this can be funny.</span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih09aSJ3GXYUuH6XdHlONz0x20u14UIi6V4w4PNgRCFThYZiAhyXSYlbQQGZ1cHTVMkMko7JjZkkeEGcHpumgewiIvJg1-GE6Jqtboc14lhFWK9HKfXR7zSDEkP8xYfx6qXFoYnpUQyfQP/s1600/WRLDDARTS-FNL-TAYLOR24-300x271.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih09aSJ3GXYUuH6XdHlONz0x20u14UIi6V4w4PNgRCFThYZiAhyXSYlbQQGZ1cHTVMkMko7JjZkkeEGcHpumgewiIvJg1-GE6Jqtboc14lhFWK9HKfXR7zSDEkP8xYfx6qXFoYnpUQyfQP/s1600/WRLDDARTS-FNL-TAYLOR24-300x271.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>He can beat you in darts. You can beat him in anything else.</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div style="font: 24.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue; font-size: large;">1. <b>Chess</b></span></div><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Though it isn't actually in the Olympics, chess is recognized by the IOC Olympic Programme Commission as a sport. This is ridiculous.</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Chess advocates say that chess is a mind sport. Is <i>Battleship</i> a sport then? Checkers? <i>Clue</i>? Chess is a thinking-person's game, not a sport.</span></div></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdHc5llZOz_rC_ANhT9fOdTsZB0f32-2lEG15vL3AGrboRaxcv7Y5yYQ5NwtPXz55tgE7uyD61uFny2Nm8EGTrV6xx-UAE2-KbQcJ9yhxjYuotJtKqiqhKDnjXApbgM1hiKwVc2oSZAx6w/s1600/Chess-Terminator-Robot-joue-aux-Echec-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdHc5llZOz_rC_ANhT9fOdTsZB0f32-2lEG15vL3AGrboRaxcv7Y5yYQ5NwtPXz55tgE7uyD61uFny2Nm8EGTrV6xx-UAE2-KbQcJ9yhxjYuotJtKqiqhKDnjXApbgM1hiKwVc2oSZAx6w/s320/Chess-Terminator-Robot-joue-aux-Echec-01.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>"I beat the robot in chess." (That gets the ladies.)</i></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span><br />
<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If the games and hobbies listed above are sports, then I want to create some sports of my own. How about color racing? We see who can draw the fastest picture of an animal. (The picture must be well-drawn-- no stick figures.)</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5pZqgnkQ6-RILVNw7-kwuVV4SnSDNyyxaE_8N5r15WCsnpIV04bPG5C3EHxr7QHYBSUiap9K2yFHpG3QlEg-AYA-F9d-VjRg-44GKqoJC5KxK8QYRjRRUfD6Rmj0zMB3RKpt5uPMMtvI8/s1600/131598875387891.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj5pZqgnkQ6-RILVNw7-kwuVV4SnSDNyyxaE_8N5r15WCsnpIV04bPG5C3EHxr7QHYBSUiap9K2yFHpG3QlEg-AYA-F9d-VjRg-44GKqoJC5KxK8QYRjRRUfD6Rmj0zMB3RKpt5uPMMtvI8/s320/131598875387891.gif" width="320" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i>I win.</i></span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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<div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">There's also the brush your teeth race where the winner is whoever can brush his or her teeth the fastest.</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 19.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">We've also got competitive gardening. Actually, I bet that sport already exists.</span></div><div style="font: 16.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div></div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-16951830471753419342011-09-03T16:16:00.001-04:002012-05-10T02:17:21.537-04:00Top 10 Best Underrated Horror Movies<div style="font: 12.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I decided to make this an "underrated" horror movies list and not include any of the more famous horror films since there are already a ton of horror movie lists out there featuring them. Plus, truth be told, (with the exception of <i>The Exorcist</i> and <i>Psycho</i>) many of the frequently top-ranked horror flicks (<i>Poltergeist</i>,<i> Nightmare on Elm Street,</i> etc.) are overrated. Other horror movies, like <i>The Thing</i>, suffer from special effects that, while in their day might have been impressive, now seem goofy and even laughable. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The movies on this list are very good horror films that, for one reason or another, are overlooked or underrated.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The Top 10 Best (Overlooked or Underrated) Horror Movies:</span></b></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">10. Frailty</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">For the longest time, Netflix Watch Instantly kept recommending I watch this. (Now, Netflix keeps trying to get me to watch<i>The Backyardigans</i>-- what do they think of me?) I always avoided <i>Frailty</i><span style="text-decoration: underline;">,</span> though, since Matthew McConaughey is on the DVD cover and I do not think "good horror movie" when I think of the star of<i> The Wedding Planner</i>, <i>Ghosts of Girlfriends Past</i>, and <i>Fool's Gold </i>(not that those aren't all four star films or anything).</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Well, I was wrong about <i>Frailty</i>. First off, McConaughey doesn't really get too much screen time. Secondly, the movie, which is directed by and stars Bill Paxton, has a great premise: A father (Paxton) tells his two young sons that God has come to him in a vision and ordered them to kill demons (who look just like ordinary people).</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>He is probably going to go chop some firewood.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Frailty</i> is definitely more of a thriller than a horror film, but I still wanted to include it here since it's often overlooked and very underrated.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">9. Session 9</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">If done well, it's ghost/eerie spiritual-type stories (<i>The Ring</i>, <i>The Orphanage</i>) that tend to be the most frightening to me (though I am very picky about such films and find that lots of them, like <i>Poltergeist</i>, or <i>Paranormal Activity</i>, are overrated and not scary at all).</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Session 9</i> focuses on a team of asbestos cleaners (finally, I've been waiting for a movie about asbestos cleaners!) working in an old asylum where things start to go horribly wrong. Though not a great movie (but a good one), <i>Session 9</i> will keep you on the edge of your seat.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>That looks like a nice place to sit.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">8. Dawn of the Dead (2004, dir. Zack Snyder)</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">George Romero's <i>Dawn of the Dead</i> is the probably the most highly regarded zombie movie of all time. This has led to many zombie snobs (you know who you are) being very critical of Zack Snyder's remake. Being constantly compared to the original has also led this version of <i>Dawn of the Dead</i>, which is basically completely different from the original, being very, very underrated</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>The survivors. That construction worker is tall.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The new <i>Dawn of the Dead</i> is everything a fun zombie movie should be, and I enjoy it more than the original. Finally, fast zombies. </span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>As long as you're not the slowest human, you're okay.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">7. REC</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">While we're on the subject of zombie films (actually, I think these are demon people or something in this one-- same thing), there's <i>REC</i>, in which a TV reporter and her cameraman end up in a quarantined building after following a night shift at a local fire station.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">This Spanish movie uses the first-person camera technique popularized by <i>The Blair Witch Project. </i>Yes, it is in Spanish-- you will need subtitles (unless you are bilingual…or trilingual). I know you can read, though.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>Scary little girls are a requirement for horror films.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">6. Cloverfield</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Another movie that successfully utilizes the handheld camera technique is <i>Cloverfield</i>. Somewhere along the line, <i>Cloverfield</i> got a bad rap and everyone thought it was going to be crap. If you tell people you saw <i>Cloverfield</i> and you liked it, they'll typically be surprised or act like you are slow. This is odd since the movie actually got pretty decent reviews (77% on Rotten Tomatoes).</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Cloverfield</i> is basically <i>Godzilla</i> modernized. The whole thing really works-- the acting, the handheld cam, all of it.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>They used to let you go into the crown.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">5. The Orphanage</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Laura, her husband, and their son, Simon, move into the old seaside orphanage where Laura spent time as a child, so that they can reopen the orphanage as a living facility for disabled children. (I have a similar plan!) After moving in though, Simon says that he has a new invisible friend (who wears a scary mask) and there is clearly something wrong with the old orphanage. Soon, Simon is missing.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>This is actually me.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>The Orphanage</i> is a smart horror film produced by Guillermo del Toro that I like just as much (if not more) than his films <i>Pan's Labyrinth</i> and <i>The Devil's Backbone</i>.</span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Invasion of the Body Snatchers </i>doesn't really fit the bill as an overlooked or underrated movie…but I couldn't make this a Top 9 list, now could I? Plus, it sort of works since the original received so much acclaim (and still does), often overshadowing this version. This remake, though, starring Donald Sutherland is an excellent movie. The name basically describes the premise of the movie…which is great.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>They need new trees.</i></span></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. Misery</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">What's the best horror movie based on a Stephen King book? For many people, it's <i>The Shining</i>. For me, it's <i>Misery</i>. The two films are actually fairly similar. Both feature a protagonist completely cut off from the outside world and an antagonist who's not quite all there.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">While everyone remembers <i>The Shining</i>, some overlook <i>Misery</i>, the film for which Kathy Bates won the Academy Award for Best Actress. The helplessness of Paul Sheldon's situation, injured from a car crash and unable to move while being "cared for" by Bate's Annie Wilkes, is also well-portrayed by James Caan.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><i>This is not going to end well.</i></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Fun Fact: Bates winning Best Actress is the only major Academy Award won by any of the films based on Stephen King's books (crazy when you remember he also wrote <i>The Shawshank Redemption</i> and <i>The Green Mile</i>).</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><b>2. 28 Weeks Later</b></span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>28 Days Later</i> received great critical acclaim (deservedly so). <i>28 Weeks Later</i> received solid reviews, but is widely not regarded as good as the prior film. It's not as good…it's better. The story is more creative and the film, as a whole, is more brutal and surprising than the first movie.</span></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>28 Weeks Later</i> takes place (as you might have suspected) 28 weeks after the outbreak of the rage virus, which turns people into flesh-eating killing machines. There isn't any real connection to the first film, so seeing that first isn't a prerequisite.</span><br />
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">I do not want to live in any area where I see a sign like this one!</span></i></div>
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1. Trick r' Treat</span></b></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">This movie has a really dumb name and a dumb DVD cover that would lead you to believe it's just your average, run of the mill, crappy horror movie. In reality, Trick r' Treat is the best Halloween movie ever made. Trick r' Treat goes back and forth between four separate (yet connected) scary stories. Each of the stories are equally scary and entertaining-- we're never waiting to get back to a particular tale.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8u4vK6qxscSDF1NMM1d7XzrmWtqGQ3Xk9mvYbxv10xsfWF2xihvCi9TN05P6n05YVupmY9SWQM1nKWu_PC6UMW9uvG8pJUN3UUD015SFTFzVwEIVwqGS2sGtAkoJhAUJk_r8bgzpGt6K_/s1600/trick-r-treat-anna-paquin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8u4vK6qxscSDF1NMM1d7XzrmWtqGQ3Xk9mvYbxv10xsfWF2xihvCi9TN05P6n05YVupmY9SWQM1nKWu_PC6UMW9uvG8pJUN3UUD015SFTFzVwEIVwqGS2sGtAkoJhAUJk_r8bgzpGt6K_/s320/trick-r-treat-anna-paquin.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Nice costumes.</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><i>Trick r' Treat</i> encapsulates everything that is Halloween and the fact that this movie was released directly to DVD is a tragedy (like <i>Oedipus</i> or <i>Romeo and Juliet</i>). One popular theory behind why Warner Bros. Pictures decided not to release it is that they were unhappy with Bryan Singer (who produced <i>Trick r' Trea</i>t) since <i>Superman Returns</i> wasn't a success. (It had been Warner Bros. who hired Singer to develop and direct the Superman film.) This "revenge" motive is the only thing that makes sense to me since <i>Trick r' Treat i</i>s better than 95% of the horror movies out there.</span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqDiPYE6QpxwWdKDtuXbio_HM_-QdSjBPCKh7EYhk4ala3ksdPwBzcfop0D19PElGyK6Hjng1MR-47qYejkurZq3R8yS8sR8udoUfztmpAlTPrhwnhMUtg7vgd91CXsvusD6lG5k429nZ8/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqDiPYE6QpxwWdKDtuXbio_HM_-QdSjBPCKh7EYhk4ala3ksdPwBzcfop0D19PElGyK6Hjng1MR-47qYejkurZq3R8yS8sR8udoUfztmpAlTPrhwnhMUtg7vgd91CXsvusD6lG5k429nZ8/s320/1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">I'd rather walk to school.</span></i></div>
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">So there you have it, folks. Check out whichever of these ten films you haven't seen so that you can agree with me (or if you're Brendan, you can tell me how I'm wrong).</span></div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6187220623095678830.post-62182548622742338062011-08-31T23:32:00.003-04:002011-09-16T02:31:03.576-04:00Top 10 State Nicknames!<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">You probably know that there are 50 states in America. (If you are one of my readers from another country, you might not have known this, in which case, you just learned something new! Congratulations!) Every state, with the exception of Alabama (sorry, Alabama), has an official state nickname. </span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">If you live in the U.S., you most likely know the nickname of your own state. But, do you know the nicknames of the other 49 states? (Probably not.) So, I've compiled this list of the TOP 10 STATE NICKNAMES. After reading this, you will have new fun facts to impress your friends. Also, if you ever go on Jeopardy, this information might help you. (Note: Some states have many nicknames; for the purposes of this list, only official nicknames were considered.)</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Honorable mentions:</b></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Peach State (<i>Georgia</i>)</b></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPwZGhHT5K2HyPzjz85Ef_A2NQ35rL-qcTnRgnjAwOSIUQbjJlq_M11ikRBO68IvCs7vv-55xUuaX1k9n1g9TSIsK-xfJdI_G1PQ2264gsnGs2Jk99OvNO1O8_aA_Eyl8UssdAR08GRmmr/s1600/peach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPwZGhHT5K2HyPzjz85Ef_A2NQ35rL-qcTnRgnjAwOSIUQbjJlq_M11ikRBO68IvCs7vv-55xUuaX1k9n1g9TSIsK-xfJdI_G1PQ2264gsnGs2Jk99OvNO1O8_aA_Eyl8UssdAR08GRmmr/s200/peach.jpg" width="134" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i> Mario is busy, save yourself.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><br />
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<div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b>Prairie State (<i>Illinois</i>)</b></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times; font-size: small;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyAnaxBpC77gIBS0hpBU_64zpo4mAivQe9gR5KLvUe6oBquFvo2BLvDiel9nZIz7EJJjnko2E-FiUfEC37pldhsnYwjUgHNr6S23OtpBUOcCqjH6ZwCXgxeLeR4YGksZsyQeKCkUO4ZBvl/s1600/Gunnison_s_Prairie_Dog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyAnaxBpC77gIBS0hpBU_64zpo4mAivQe9gR5KLvUe6oBquFvo2BLvDiel9nZIz7EJJjnko2E-FiUfEC37pldhsnYwjUgHNr6S23OtpBUOcCqjH6ZwCXgxeLeR4YGksZsyQeKCkUO4ZBvl/s200/Gunnison_s_Prairie_Dog.jpg" width="181" /></a></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i> You're a menace, praire dog.</i></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 14px/normal Helvetica; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">10. Mount Rushmore State (<i>South Dakota</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Person 1: <i>Hey, have you ever heard of a state called South Dakota?</i></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Person 2: <i>I have. I heard it's pretty lame. Is there anything to do there?</i></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Person 1: <i>No</i>.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">You are wrong, nameless people! There is one thing you can do in South Dakota (just one)-- visit Mount Rushmore! Even though I have never been there, it must be amazing if South Dakota chose to use, "Mount Rushmore State" as its nickname. Either that, or they are just not very creative.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcyS6GfulSn4hdv7wRMphwa8pddB8_jxlxJ8vw6R0mBLwn0m_Da8FneuzLdyGXGK8a22iI3Nj6xFTQdyngAXlDCgMXiqOwIqkUu4eB2yILsVJo7O79EZPdGRo34W7M4QKsqy2pYfqirPc9/s1600/1314842626-98556.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcyS6GfulSn4hdv7wRMphwa8pddB8_jxlxJ8vw6R0mBLwn0m_Da8FneuzLdyGXGK8a22iI3Nj6xFTQdyngAXlDCgMXiqOwIqkUu4eB2yILsVJo7O79EZPdGRo34W7M4QKsqy2pYfqirPc9/s400/1314842626-98556.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>I couldn't help it. I've replaced Abraham Lincoln.</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">9. Beehive State (<i>Utah</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Do you know where bees live? If you answered <i>a beehive</i>, you are correct. I do not like bees because they sting you when you try to steal their honey (as seen in <i>Winnie The Pooh</i>).</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3mol6c3mWHX84wzKUTQ8AAVUvtpqqXWWPIGkDMj7pL33TK0k6TKAIckaaKBIEseS0kgzkniIHHiflbnPalhMseipHA7kJoCdrE1Q0hp5FDYGq1GJjGqQUTPsNwM5SnjOCgXRMN9s-uk0a/s1600/winnie_the_pooh.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3mol6c3mWHX84wzKUTQ8AAVUvtpqqXWWPIGkDMj7pL33TK0k6TKAIckaaKBIEseS0kgzkniIHHiflbnPalhMseipHA7kJoCdrE1Q0hp5FDYGq1GJjGqQUTPsNwM5SnjOCgXRMN9s-uk0a/s1600/winnie_the_pooh.jpg" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>A victim of America's poor education system.</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Actually, Utah is not nicknamed the Beehive State because they love bees, it is because of something to do with a Mormon translation (shout out to all my Mormon readers).</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">8. Granite State (<i>New Hampshire</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Really, New Hampshire? Granite? You want to be nicknamed after a basic, common rock?</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIzge74r2Xpe_uCbvYv83TP5eZym2HAvXFO9Q8JsK4SYSFSi7njH4q4NVQ3p2z8nYfv4dpzEeiEjAIHq_ycFr551jVZAfEemQjh-cRvsLwWjVjjkRuI4mMWiecb1tl3WdB7TWDseROscPw/s1600/granite.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIzge74r2Xpe_uCbvYv83TP5eZym2HAvXFO9Q8JsK4SYSFSi7njH4q4NVQ3p2z8nYfv4dpzEeiEjAIHq_ycFr551jVZAfEemQjh-cRvsLwWjVjjkRuI4mMWiecb1tl3WdB7TWDseROscPw/s320/granite.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Lame</i>.</div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Surprisingly, New Hampshire has the best official state motto: "Live Free or Die." Bruce Willis approves!</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1JAV7n3XRU6FvWl8vKKPsEIlAcTKY8SNkuJwycw8Ry83vla9rkMO6Dsy1EX8zrhweX-yAXlpK61wMIaMxvbn4mgo3_Z6PV748mCZp6B6I7XIjN36VTSWqx16N1FCgj4PjrMx17Q4xfhZA/s1600/die_hard_bruce_willis-104531.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1JAV7n3XRU6FvWl8vKKPsEIlAcTKY8SNkuJwycw8Ry83vla9rkMO6Dsy1EX8zrhweX-yAXlpK61wMIaMxvbn4mgo3_Z6PV748mCZp6B6I7XIjN36VTSWqx16N1FCgj4PjrMx17Q4xfhZA/s320/die_hard_bruce_willis-104531.jpg" width="212" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>I approve...and I'm cool.</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">7. America's Dairyland (<i>Wisconsin</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">America's Dairyland sounds like the name of a cheese or milk company. The company's logo would be a little cow. Also, the company would sell cheap dairy products, not expensive food that you'd find at Whole Foods or Trader Joe's. Wisconsin's state animal is the dairy cow and the state beverage is (you guess it!) milk.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWh6VX9HPKh9omS5U4e30xwXAhXRdMwT4XQH4zoqhT-9ERLcEyZu4E4AeVzWtTd1T1C18nFJ7ab5tIka79mxL2tS5vDP_kIMcKN3cCFfSiJg6Rmn17VaNXN3RnY9R1I8sGgb61KLAJIaa0/s1600/1314842564555-1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="258" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWh6VX9HPKh9omS5U4e30xwXAhXRdMwT4XQH4zoqhT-9ERLcEyZu4E4AeVzWtTd1T1C18nFJ7ab5tIka79mxL2tS5vDP_kIMcKN3cCFfSiJg6Rmn17VaNXN3RnY9R1I8sGgb61KLAJIaa0/s400/1314842564555-1.gif" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>I have no feet!</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">6. Vacationland (<i>Maine</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><br />
</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">I have a good idea for where you can go on vacation-- Vacationland! It looks like Maine is trying too hard with a nickname that basically begs for people to come visit. Should you go to Disneyland or Vacationland? Or Iceland?</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxKTrlno0DyjhCjw_Lnv6w7Z_t1gh_dgVhlmiBaNTX1nEZWfO71k112YIRFeFlQtcOCcTGEqOjtnwHWNwZv5jZSEMu4adq5hUCR3hyphenhyphen72PEliXkT0DAd6dn9QCv2FPMRhiq3TIljall_42v/s1600/018iceland.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxKTrlno0DyjhCjw_Lnv6w7Z_t1gh_dgVhlmiBaNTX1nEZWfO71k112YIRFeFlQtcOCcTGEqOjtnwHWNwZv5jZSEMu4adq5hUCR3hyphenhyphen72PEliXkT0DAd6dn9QCv2FPMRhiq3TIljall_42v/s400/018iceland.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Actually, this is Iceland.</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">5. Show-Me State (<i>Missouri</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">There are a handful of origin stories for this state nickname. I thought the nickname sounded somewhat sexual in nature and a quick google search proved me right. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">"Show-Me's" is the name of a chain of Hooters-type restaurants where scantily-clad girls serve you manly food.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfnMtfVr2dnneIRVMrp1y-RcagAs1B3dHMkAh9SJKjxWFzoUYkwA5-4pA793-lnHxko97O8geU5gT3g-XgTGGO4jhIiXTgnSbL99wqNXXiiRFlkppoMdPncbfD91I23hLOLrf8cfeYw4yO/s1600/west-sign.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfnMtfVr2dnneIRVMrp1y-RcagAs1B3dHMkAh9SJKjxWFzoUYkwA5-4pA793-lnHxko97O8geU5gT3g-XgTGGO4jhIiXTgnSbL99wqNXXiiRFlkppoMdPncbfD91I23hLOLrf8cfeYw4yO/s400/west-sign.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>I like the brick wall.</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">According to showmes.com, "70 to 80% [of the waitresses] are former cheerleaders, dance team members, high school and college athletes, and aspiring models." They must be hot!</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ46mJ2FMHgJ-Wr4vUg2QIkin9PtbqBOKFEHbD6fclfp9Rbh2ypyRHieJvDQiEK_NRn0ImgMRYQBtXeCPh4b1rewntBUctkwi2iysIVRxbrT1wUhm_KxrhfbmHEwv9L7KpeUbWSxiZbZEJ/s1600/carbondaleweb1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ46mJ2FMHgJ-Wr4vUg2QIkin9PtbqBOKFEHbD6fclfp9Rbh2ypyRHieJvDQiEK_NRn0ImgMRYQBtXeCPh4b1rewntBUctkwi2iysIVRxbrT1wUhm_KxrhfbmHEwv9L7KpeUbWSxiZbZEJ/s320/carbondaleweb1.jpg" width="213" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Ugh, nope!</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">But where did the name of the restaurant come from? Show-Me's is actually named after Missouri's state nickname! Things come full circle!!</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">4. Peace Garden State (<i>North Dakota</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Trying to outdo New Jersey, the Garden State, North Dakota went with Peace Garden State. Unlike the "Garden" in Garden State, however, the Peace Garden is an actual garden. Like South Dakota, North Dakota went with a nickname that included its most famous landmark… in this case, a garden you've never heard of. It's a shocker that no one vacations to North Dakota.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGInudhhA0TPM1EzKVDmTEfiLWZHeB3yOpSEKAO9FIdVu0qsQvFyXtF9F4nNOrVkitdlRaYMR5yybDAkXvoI8c4sc7rJ-s3_u_5rPJ7GrGblOyAGi0mj719ICyLCZQPVXq_uLd76fcgYcy/s1600/575px-Flag_of_North_Dakota.svg.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="312" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiGInudhhA0TPM1EzKVDmTEfiLWZHeB3yOpSEKAO9FIdVu0qsQvFyXtF9F4nNOrVkitdlRaYMR5yybDAkXvoI8c4sc7rJ-s3_u_5rPJ7GrGblOyAGi0mj719ICyLCZQPVXq_uLd76fcgYcy/s400/575px-Flag_of_North_Dakota.svg.png" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Also, North Dakota needs to redesign its flag.</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">3. Pelican State (<i>Louisiana</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">The pelican is the state bird of Louisiana, so it makes sense that Louisiana is the Pelican State. I like to imagine that Louisiana is actually run by pelicans (sort of how the monkeys run the earth in <i>Planet of the Apes</i>.) Since I have never been to the Pelican State, there is a chance that this is actually the case.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC4b5IoyeEHXxoRPOkJ34Dpskj8KmbaeqP2pBe7h-dyC5hiKUXPRoFNyt3dKo-K9dFcdwF8A4FRALNfpUhldoG69BOmBR7T2Y_IuzuumtHDYLvh4s9JXTiwekBMOGhwRwpYomaaze4m-Hd/s1600/1314845222-3238.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC4b5IoyeEHXxoRPOkJ34Dpskj8KmbaeqP2pBe7h-dyC5hiKUXPRoFNyt3dKo-K9dFcdwF8A4FRALNfpUhldoG69BOmBR7T2Y_IuzuumtHDYLvh4s9JXTiwekBMOGhwRwpYomaaze4m-Hd/s400/1314845222-3238.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>They force me to smile.</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">2. Treasure State (<i>Montana</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Nothing gets me out and about like the promise of treasure. Everyone loves treasure. (Even pirates!) Montana really does have lots of silver and gold (i.e. treasure)!</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqbO9yolEjJRB230pytaW2m-mLYif6SEuDBFTJehpeQUeb1SAjkEl_5panycQ1sm9r0PGu5qkF8NthgF65WmvPXPonbl_4NqQgLCECI_yn7tSvVc32WODF9YG20qO55-aJr3gvB3fyUiTy/s1600/count.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqbO9yolEjJRB230pytaW2m-mLYif6SEuDBFTJehpeQUeb1SAjkEl_5panycQ1sm9r0PGu5qkF8NthgF65WmvPXPonbl_4NqQgLCECI_yn7tSvVc32WODF9YG20qO55-aJr3gvB3fyUiTy/s320/count.jpg" width="256" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>Edmund Dantes finds treasure, but dreams only of revenge.</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Another nickname for Montana is Big Sky Country. This is not nearly as good as Treasure State because I can see the "big sky" and the "country" just about anywhere, but I need to go somewhere specific to find treasure.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: large;">1. Land of Enchantment (<i>New Mexico</i>)</span></b></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Land of Enchantment sounds like the name of an amusement park. Would you rather go to Disney World, Universal Studios, or Land of Enchantment? I'd pick Land of Enchantment (it sounds classier).</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">Is there magic in New Mexico? Are there cotton candy clouds or talking animals? This is what I imagine will be in someplace described as <i>enchanting</i>.</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic_P7WIGp8FNHmDdmkrT3D9TJb_sTDzOHJ5PTqKytdbdNMdds-a9ax5lshJzsGgw-0EI3GhgFMWqUvTqZS638HrtLIwWF0HLiYIheskPjfWdPKR0ctc-Y3JTE1vmGrM482zwHpFoa2_ZY9/s1600/enchantment.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEic_P7WIGp8FNHmDdmkrT3D9TJb_sTDzOHJ5PTqKytdbdNMdds-a9ax5lshJzsGgw-0EI3GhgFMWqUvTqZS638HrtLIwWF0HLiYIheskPjfWdPKR0ctc-Y3JTE1vmGrM482zwHpFoa2_ZY9/s400/enchantment.jpg" width="303" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>I google image searched "enchantment."</i></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 17.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;">New Mexico needs to change its actual name to Land of Enchantment. Tourism will skyrocket through the roof (and into the cotton candy clouds).</span></div><div style="font: 14.0px Helvetica; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYESiZDPuLMZgP7AvUpbxCGCS9cnWTKrwhFkDUGhx_YjW2F0T-kCvftlPXNONtYxHqnhudaio-ToqBuY45AgylJIemFHXELc-geUyGhQmxon8oxgrn0ED2BLtFM430q-jb0m5_FF3OnU6u/s1600/1314846630-57895.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYESiZDPuLMZgP7AvUpbxCGCS9cnWTKrwhFkDUGhx_YjW2F0T-kCvftlPXNONtYxHqnhudaio-ToqBuY45AgylJIemFHXELc-geUyGhQmxon8oxgrn0ED2BLtFM430q-jb0m5_FF3OnU6u/s1600/1314846630-57895.png" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i>New Mexico.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><i><br />
</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><i>So pack your bags and head for the Land of Enchantment. Be sure to pick up some treasure at the Treasure State and steer clear of the evil pelicans in the Pelican State. If you're thirsty on your way, get a glass of milk at America's Dairyland and if it's the companionship of a "hottie" you desire, stop off at the Show-Me State. Too exciting, you say? Go to the Granite State and look at some rocks!</i></div>Jeffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18347434509453684733noreply@blogger.com