Top 10 Fictional Characters You Love That You Would Actually Hate

It may come as a shock to most of you, but many of the characters from your favorite TV shows or movies are fictional. (That means not real.)

Unless you live in a cave and are a feral person (and how would you have Internet access if that were the case), you know these popular characters. Some of them, almost all of them actually, were originally found in works of literature, but let’s face it, none of you read books anymore. (Well, almost none of you; I’m looking at you, bookworm!)

So without further ado, here they are, ten characters you love on the big screen (or small screen) that would annoy the dickens out of you if they were real.

10. Tony Stark (Iron Man)

A super-intelligent jerk with a super suit that gets all of the girls and thinks he’s the best human who ever lived—yeah, that sounds like someone I’d want to be friends with. NOT!

Tony Stark is a self-centered, arrogant know-it-all. He never shuts up and loves to brag. Plus, he’s not reliable and he’s a drunk. Sure, he might save the world on occasion, but you definitely wouldn’t like the guy.

9. The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (All four of them)

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles might be “awesome” on TV, but think of how incredibly obnoxious they’d be in reality.

Michelangelo is basically a stoner. He’s the guy who comes to your house and eats all your food. (“Cowabunga, what’s the big deal?”) Raphael is a jerk—remember the song, he’s “cool, but crude”. Donatello is a big nerd and a showoff. Leonardo might be the only one of the four who’s alright, but as the leader of the group, he’s somewhat pompous. Plus, they’re giant turtles. Giant turtles would terrify you. (Also, why do they wear masks? Do they really think they’re concealing their identities?)

March Madness Sweet Sixteen: Picking Winners Using Mascots

Well, the first week of March Madness is over and, if you're anything like me, you still have a perfect bracket. (My bracket.)

However, most of you reading this are probably not like me since most people-- except maybe my clones-- are not like me. (It is also debatable whether or not my clones are really people and whether they should have the right to vote. I do not care if they have the right to vote, but one day I will harvest their organs. Unless, of course, I am a clone and don't know it, in which case, I am against that.)

Top 10 Worst Board Games Ever

For as long as man has existed, there have been board games. In fact, archaeologists now think that cavemen invented fire so that they could play backgammon late into the night. (Also, they would be able to use the fire to see if dinosaurs were heading towards their caves.)

Nowadays, board games are a fun way to pass the time if there is a power outage in your neighborhood and you can’t watch TV. They are great for children and also for college students who want to do something while pregamming before a night out (a case in which some rules might have to be modified to allow for alcohol consumption).

One example of a popular board game is Monopoly. Monopoly is so popular that Hasbro has made roughly 1,000,000 different versions of it. I do not like Monopoly (not even the SpongeBob version) because it takes too long to play and I have little patience. Also, people always play Monopoly with different rules and one person always takes the game way too seriously and another person always takes the game not seriously at all (me) and might even try to cheat and take extra fake money (me again). Despite this, after hours and hours of extensive research, I have determined that Monopoly is not one of the worst board games ever.

Top 10 New (Ridiculous) Products

My grandmother always has several different gossip magazines, newspaper clippings, cartoons, articles, etc., etc., in her purse that she can take out at a moment's notice to show you.  Recently, she showed me the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog, which I had never seen before.  This is actually very surprising since when I looked up the catalog on Wikipedia, I learned that it was founded in 1848-- the year of my birth.

What makes the catalog great is that it has even more ridiculous overpriced crap than those SkyMall catalogs on airplanes.  Here are the Top 10 Products for sale in the Hammacher Schlemmer catalog, or simply the Top 10 New Products, since there really can't be any products better than these.  And when I say "better", what I really mean is "worse".