12 GUYS TO LOOK FOR IN CENTRAL PARK

Take a walk around Central Park and you'll see all different types of people-- you've got everything from tourists from the Ukraine to coal miners from Pennsylvania.  

As you take your stroll, take note that there are clearly a few different types of guys that frequent the park.  These men are defined by the activities they're doing, whether they are walking a dog or going for a jog (rhyme!).

Let's examine the different activities men do in Central Park.  If you want, you can turn this list into a SCAVENGER HUNT (fun!).  To do this, go around the park and find someone doing each of the following things.  You can even print this page and use it as a handy checklist so you don't miss anything.  The first person to find all twelve men wins a mediocre prize that I will not provide for you.

COUNTDOWN TIME!  THE TOP 12 THINGS GUYS DO IN THE PARK AND WHAT THEY SHOW ABOUT THEM:

12. WALK A DOG

This one's a classic.  There are only two reasons men walk a dog in the park.  REASON ONE: The man is using the dog to pick up women (or men--that's fine, too).  I have heard variations of the following exchange many times: 

Attractive Woman: Is that your dog?

Man With Dog: Yes, it is.

Attractive Woman: He is SO cute… Why don't we go out for a drink later?

This happens all the time.

REASON TWO: The man is lonely and has no other friends; he has no one to walk with besides his dog.  This is a very sad scenario.

Probably Reason Two.

**BATMAN VS. SPIDER-MAN**

BATMAN is 6'2 and 210 pounds. He is a master of all forms of martial arts.  He is a fantastic detective and one of the greatest minds in the DC Universe.  The Dark Knight has beaten countless tough foes, like the Joker and Two-Face.  He's even had to taken down Superman and the rest of the Justice League!

But can Batman beat SPIDER-MAN, the more fun-loving hero from the Marvel Universe?  Who's stronger?  Who's, in general, all-around, better?  And which movie looks better, The Dark Knight Rises, or The Amazing Spider-Man?  Jeffrey & Jennifer debate!!!  Who's better, BATMAN, or SPIDER-MAN?!

TRUE BLOOD BITES OFF MORE THAN IT CAN CHEW

By Just Jennifer

When you sit down to watch this season of HBO’s hit show True Blood, you might feel a little overwhelmed at times.  You might be confused by all the characters and all the plotlines…and the way in which it seems like nothing really advances in each episode, because an average of only six minutes is spent on each storyline.  To help you out, here’s a quick look at True Blood’s ten current storylines and how well they fare with audiences (me).

*SPOILERS CONTAINED*

 

TARA: D-

 Why did Tara come back to town?  Cage-fighting lesbians should be a welcome addition to the show, but Tara has always been so unlikable.  She’s unattractive, talks too much, thinks she’s the cream of the crop, and pities herself to death (no, really, I hope she does), not to mention that her and her new girlfriend HAVE NO POWERS (because being a lesbian is not a supernatural power).  There are only a few good normal humans left on the show, and Tara Thornton is not one of them.  Her girlfriend will probably soon meet an untimely death, at the hands of the rotting Pam, and maybe then, Tara will just go away again.  One can only dream.

 

WITCHCRAFT PLOT 1 – LAFAYETTE AND JESUS: D

 I like Lafayette a lot because he says some fun ghetto snarky things, and I’m happy for him that he’s dating Jesus or whatever, but he is SO susceptible to peer pressure.  The witch circles were one thing, but running off to some guy’s psychotic grandfather’s ranch is another.  This storyline just sucks.  I could not care less about Jesus’ ancestors’ spirits.  There’s nothing worse than a minor character’s minor character getting his own storyline.

Dogs Shouldn't Wear Diapers

10 Reasons You Shouldn't Get a Dog:

They smell

They bite people

They bark

They lick your face

They jump on you

They have too much energy

They chew your sneakers

They poop in your house

You have to make sure you're home to feed them

Vet visits cost lost of money

Lassie was notorious for biting children on the set.

Wow!  Dogs sound awful!

NOTE: The above reasons are, of course, dog stereotypes.  They don't hold true for all dogs.  It's the same with stereotypes for different groups of people-- some white people can actually dance and not all Asian people really do like Math.

Point made.